The police cell
A man wakes up in a cell3 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
Bad place in which to wake up! You had me imagining the most horrible stink hole, captured by aliens or something. I was dreading the reveal. A French jail was a relief after that. You sure built up the tension. I thought we were going to be screaming our way through outer space. I wasn't sure I'd be up to that. "Nonononono." Very effective. Good luck in the contest. Hope you win. I could use the review bucks. LOL! Kidding!
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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Bad place in which to wake up! You had me imagining the most horrible stink hole, captured by aliens or something. I was dreading the reveal. A French jail was a relief after that. You sure built up the tension. I thought we were going to be screaming our way through outer space. I wasn't sure I'd be up to that. "Nonononono." Very effective. Good luck in the contest. Hope you win. I could use the review bucks. LOL! Kidding!
Comment Written 15-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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You're very kind, thanks. I once went on a company Christmas meal in Lille, and my manager got so drunk he missed the train back to England and then fought his way into a police cell
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I once woke up in our apartment in Spain, with one foot hanging out the bed, the boot still on, the jeans hanging off it. Hubby greeted me with: "You'd better get your act together. You invited most of the people in the bar over here for dinner tonight. You kept saying,'Oh, you must come.' They're coming." LOL! Only one person showed up, thank God. I had made a lamb stew. Good lamb in Spain. I don't do that anymore. We had good times, though.
Comment from Rasmine
This is a good contest entry. Good luck in the contest.
Some things to consider: It was Penny's leaving do (this doesn't make sense to me). Was he legless when he became legless (What happened? Legless is kind of confusing when he has a cast on).
He tried to ignore it, sinking into the womb-like comfort of his sleep, but it was insistent ( good sentence)...
Have a good week.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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This is a good contest entry. Good luck in the contest.
Some things to consider: It was Penny's leaving do (this doesn't make sense to me). Was he legless when he became legless (What happened? Legless is kind of confusing when he has a cast on).
He tried to ignore it, sinking into the womb-like comfort of his sleep, but it was insistent ( good sentence)...
Have a good week.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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Thank you. I'm English, and in the UK a do is a party or a celebration. I'm glad you liked it.
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Oh!! Okay, I'm sorry--I learned something, thank you :)
Comment from robyn corum
Bob,
My, my. I wonder if you could have thrown anything ELSE at the poor boy? I can't really think of anything right off. Hmmm.... nope. That's about it.
Now, I have a couple of notes for you, but the first one may be nitpicky.
1.) Somewhere in the warm dark cotton-wool of his dream, something pushed at Andy. He tried to ignore it, sinking into the womb-like comfort of his sleep,
--> this was two somewhat conflicting images (cotton-wool/womb) for me and they combatted each other in my mind.
2.) fines would get him out of here, and then he'd sort thing(s) out after a bath and haircut
Otherwise, a perfect reading. Thanks for a lovely read! *smile* Poor man!
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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Bob,
My, my. I wonder if you could have thrown anything ELSE at the poor boy? I can't really think of anything right off. Hmmm.... nope. That's about it.
Now, I have a couple of notes for you, but the first one may be nitpicky.
1.) Somewhere in the warm dark cotton-wool of his dream, something pushed at Andy. He tried to ignore it, sinking into the womb-like comfort of his sleep,
--> this was two somewhat conflicting images (cotton-wool/womb) for me and they combatted each other in my mind.
2.) fines would get him out of here, and then he'd sort thing(s) out after a bath and haircut
Otherwise, a perfect reading. Thanks for a lovely read! *smile* Poor man!
Comment Written 15-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2016
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Thanks. I'd already caught the thing thing on the fourth re-reading. Why is it we can never proofread our own stuff. I've had a few beers myself, so I'll look at the other thing tomorrow when I have more clarity. Thanks for the generous review
