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Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "End of Winter"
Free verse poems

32 total reviews 
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Thank you. One form gets boring after a while. This is
a joy to read. Love the rhyme scheme and the meter Jim. Sort of limerick style. I do not know a lot about poetry forms as much as feel them and enjoy them. Thanks for breaking ranks. LOL Have a great day! Nancy.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    Thank you, Nancy, I did need a break from all those cinquains I was writing. This form is just so much fun for me! Wishing you a beautiful day as well,
    Carol
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

So very much enjoyed, Carol! I'm hoping Jim enjoys his nutmeg cakes! LOL
The picture you have created of winter's passage is wonderfully evocative and I wouldn't change a word of it. Well, perhaps just one word! Although 'was' is absolutely correct, I would perhaps have gone for the past conditional rather than just the simple past tense here:
"the forest glows, as if the land
was (were) dyed in brilliant hue."
It just sounds better to my ear - nothing more than a personal preference!

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    I asked Jim what the difference was between English and Welsh teas -apparently it's all to do with the cakes. The welsh cakes have nutmeg! So there you are :))
    I will take a look at your suggestion, that line did strike me as a tiny bit awkward so your idea of using "were" might smooth it out - thanks :))
    Carol
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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Somewhere I saw a outburst, a torrent of words called a spate. Oh well, I won't look up the form pattern, this rhymed and metered poem is obvious. Excellent.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    Spate is a great word, isn't it? So many uses :))

    Thanks, Red,
    Carol
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Excellent
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Lovely poem Carol, beautifully descriptive. As you say, a break from Cinquains which have occupied you lately. The content, so appropriate for a Pantygynt poem. ' A Welshman in his cottage wakes,' even reads as if it was intended for Gynt. LOL. Lovely read - wish it was the end of winter. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    Lol, it was created for Jim. He created the form, so once in awhile I create one for him :))

    Carol
Comment from winnona
Excellent
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A well-written poem . The words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. I think you captured the feeling of winter very well.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    Thank you, so glad you enjoyed this :))
    Carol
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
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So well done with the flow and the way you did the lines giving strength to the last to lead the rest. I love the descriptions and I wish I were the one that could take time to take out pen and paper and write what I see.lol

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    Thank you, Barb, I love this form. It's so perfect for descriptive writing :))
    Carol
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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I love the Pantygynt format, Carol, they are so much fun to write.
And you've managed to compose one heck of an example of one here.
Beautifully well written.
Bravo!
~Dean :}

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    I agree, Dean, this form is wonderful and so much fun to write. Thank you, Carol
reply by Dean Kuch on 20-Jan-2017
    Sure, anytime.
Comment from barkingdog
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good girl. You've gone back to one of your favorite forms.
This is a lovely smooth read, Carol.
So many visuals as the night progresses and turns again to day.

You always do a suburb job with nature. The creatures capture their prey under the wolf moon. (nice tie-in there)
The starling cries and the Welshman wakes to tea and Cymraeg nutmeg cakes. (Another visual preceded by a sound of nature.)

I could hear the rain and the streams of melt off running to the rivers.

Lovely rhyme and perfect count.

I hope you're headache's gone.

:) e

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
    Thanks, Ellen, you are too kind. These are way too easy for me to write, they just flow naturally. I had fun writing this one, and imagining a snowy winter in Wales. From what I hear (my sources over there, lol) it did snow the other day!

    hugs, and big thanks for such a sweet review :))
    Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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He's got a book to read and write,
new rhymes he must create;
old verse to coax, and reignite,
as rain falls thick, in spate.

the snow will melt by end of day
sweet rivulets will form and play
as spring comes, in her lazy way,

such beauty's worth the wait!

I loved the entire last pantygynt! I was going to include my very most favorite, but couldn't decide from the above! It was delightful! Thank you!

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    I really love this firm, Robyn - I guess you can tell! Thank you,
    ThxmCarol
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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Fabulous rhymes, and flow in your poem, loving the last line and the sense of anticipation which was all worth it, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
    Thank you so much :))
    Carol