Pink Tears
5/7/5 Contest Entry20 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Nice use of metaphor in this 5 7 5 poem that shows your sadness at the passing of Spring into Fall. It is ironic that you use the petals as tears because the water that they fall into is what tears are made of.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Nice use of metaphor in this 5 7 5 poem that shows your sadness at the passing of Spring into Fall. It is ironic that you use the petals as tears because the water that they fall into is what tears are made of.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the review, and the congrats.
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No problem
dragon
Comment from lalajovanoski
Her friend I very much enjoyed reading this beautiful written 575 Poem. I like the content and the message. I think that the structure is nice and smooth is the flow. Thank you very much for sharing this. God bless you. With love la
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Her friend I very much enjoyed reading this beautiful written 575 Poem. I like the content and the message. I think that the structure is nice and smooth is the flow. Thank you very much for sharing this. God bless you. With love la
Comment Written 30-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from Ann Philips
I really like this poem. The imagery was very good in so few words. It has a clear and cohesive message, yet the last line adds new insight or depth. I would have liked a forced pause at the end of line two to add emphasis to the change and force me, as the reader, to pause before reading the next line. In my first reading of the poem I missed the real point of the last line.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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I really like this poem. The imagery was very good in so few words. It has a clear and cohesive message, yet the last line adds new insight or depth. I would have liked a forced pause at the end of line two to add emphasis to the change and force me, as the reader, to pause before reading the next line. In my first reading of the poem I missed the real point of the last line.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Excellent review, but what are you describing is a haiku and this is a 5/7/5 whatever. But I will take another look at it, and thank you for the critique.
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I didn't mean to suggest that you needed to have a moment of insight in that line, but I found it nice having it there.... I liked that last line and felt it was strong, but I almost missed it and I admit that I like to nitpick.
Comment from Natali Holden
"Pink Tears" successfully creates a picture in my mind. The flowers falling into a pond like teardrops. It also reminds me of when I cry, usually it goes on and on for awhile, it makes me think of the blossoms continually falling. A beautiful picture.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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"Pink Tears" successfully creates a picture in my mind. The flowers falling into a pond like teardrops. It also reminds me of when I cry, usually it goes on and on for awhile, it makes me think of the blossoms continually falling. A beautiful picture.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you.
Comment from Curly Girly
Technically speaking your verse meets the criteria.
Logically speaking it is at fault:
Pink cherry blossoms
drop like tears on temple pond
Spring a memory
Spring would not be a memory because cherry trees bloom in spring.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Technically speaking your verse meets the criteria.
Logically speaking it is at fault:
Pink cherry blossoms
drop like tears on temple pond
Spring a memory
Spring would not be a memory because cherry trees bloom in spring.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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But they drop at the end of May. Then comes summer. But if you want to be correct and logical, you may have a point. This was not my intention with this poem.
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I live in the southern hemisphere. It's still very cold and 'springy' when their petals fall. It's the spring winds that knock them off.
Comment from mermaids
There is a vivid image in your words. "drop like tears on temple pond" brings forth emotion and makes your words come alive with nature. Excellent poetic form and use of words.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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There is a vivid image in your words. "drop like tears on temple pond" brings forth emotion and makes your words come alive with nature. Excellent poetic form and use of words.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the lovely review.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Pink Tears' is a lovely Haiku.
In just three lines and 17 syllables, you've managed to pen a success.
Beautiful artwork: The image shown supports the poem.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing your 5-7-5.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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'Pink Tears' is a lovely Haiku.
In just three lines and 17 syllables, you've managed to pen a success.
Beautiful artwork: The image shown supports the poem.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing your 5-7-5.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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Thank you for your lovely review
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is well written my friend you have painted a beautiful image using this form I enjoyed good luck in the contest regards Jill
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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This is well written my friend you have painted a beautiful image using this form I enjoyed good luck in the contest regards Jill
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
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Thank you
Comment from Irish Rain
Oh, how lovely! 'Spring a memory'....pink tears is such a wonderfully fitting name for this beautiful 5-7-5, and your presentation is wonderful! Blessings....
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Oh, how lovely! 'Spring a memory'....pink tears is such a wonderfully fitting name for this beautiful 5-7-5, and your presentation is wonderful! Blessings....
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the review, Irish Rain. I'm glad you liked "Spring a memory" - some did not. But I write to my own muse, and it's always nice when someone appreciates it.
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I can't imagine not loving this!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Wonderful imagery of cherry blossom tears! I had a cherry blossom tree in the garden of my old house which I remember with fondness, your poem reminded me of it, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Wonderful imagery of cherry blossom tears! I had a cherry blossom tree in the garden of my old house which I remember with fondness, your poem reminded me of it, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the lovely review.
