senryu (kids watermelon)
senryu58 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, isn't this just precious! And your notes - so enlightening, although I wish you had referenced your source, as I would love to read more about it.
The joy of an upcoming summer vacation fairly leaps off the screen with this delightful poem. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Oh, isn't this just precious! And your notes - so enlightening, although I wish you had referenced your source, as I would love to read more about it.
The joy of an upcoming summer vacation fairly leaps off the screen with this delightful poem. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Dawn, for your kind review and comments for my watermelon haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem. Thanks for your encouraging response. My notes are from one of the haiku classes I took from Alvin.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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You're very welcome.
Comment from MLEaton
Well, this is fun! As you mention, not the usual subject for a haiku, but very well done. I didn't realise that the syllable count 5-7-5 could be 5-8-4, but I will remember every time I think of your poem about spitting watermelon seeds! I like the watermelon coloured-background.
Marion:)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Well, this is fun! As you mention, not the usual subject for a haiku, but very well done. I didn't realise that the syllable count 5-7-5 could be 5-8-4, but I will remember every time I think of your poem about spitting watermelon seeds! I like the watermelon coloured-background.
Marion:)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Marion, for your kind review and comments for my watermelon haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem. Thanks for your encouraging response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from MaggieF
In don't know the rules about haiku's, enjoyed the great image you portrayed in this haiku, so graphic 'seed-spitting match at school picnic' good alliteration. Sounds fun, we don't have that in Ireland. Enjoyed. MaggieF
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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In don't know the rules about haiku's, enjoyed the great image you portrayed in this haiku, so graphic 'seed-spitting match at school picnic' good alliteration. Sounds fun, we don't have that in Ireland. Enjoyed. MaggieF
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Maggie, for your kind review and comments for my watermelon haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem's imagery. Thanks for your encouraging response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Janet Foor
What a fun haiku. My children and now my grandchildren are great at watermelon spitting contests. This was joyful haiku to read today. Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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What a fun haiku. My children and now my grandchildren are great at watermelon spitting contests. This was joyful haiku to read today. Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Janet, for your kind review and comments for my watermelon haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem. Thanks for your encouraging response, and glad you thought it was fun.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A funny poem it brings back memories of family reunions in Ohio. My cousins and I would always take part in the watermelon seed spitting contest.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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A funny poem it brings back memories of family reunions in Ohio. My cousins and I would always take part in the watermelon seed spitting contest.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Thomas, for your kind review and comments for my watermelon haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem. What do kids do these days with all the seedless watermelons?
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from rjuselius
aaww, this is such a sweetheart of a poem dear karyn! i love the first and second line but not so sure about the satori. you could try teacher pips (as in wins and is also another word for seed..but this is just a very very humble suggestion..
thnak you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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aaww, this is such a sweetheart of a poem dear karyn! i love the first and second line but not so sure about the satori. you could try teacher pips (as in wins and is also another word for seed..but this is just a very very humble suggestion..
thnak you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Rebekka, for your kind review and comments for my watermelon haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem. Thanks and I appreciate your suggestion.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku. Watermelon is one of my favorite treats in summer. We even have a traditional song about the watermelon from sowing to where we at last spit out the seeds.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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A very well-written haiku. Watermelon is one of my favorite treats in summer. We even have a traditional song about the watermelon from sowing to where we at last spit out the seeds.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Sandra, for your kind review and comments for my watermelon haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the background color for this haiku.
-Author notes appreciated.
-Syllable count is good.
-Vivid imagery that paints a word picture
of the picnic.
-I like the humor in the satori.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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-I like the background color for this haiku.
-Author notes appreciated.
-Syllable count is good.
-Vivid imagery that paints a word picture
of the picnic.
-I like the humor in the satori.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Pam, for your kind review and comments for my watermelon haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem. Thanks for your encouraging response, and I'm pleased you enjoyed the humor.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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You are very welcome, Karyn. Humor is always a good thing🙂
Comment from rspoet
This is a fine haiku for the contest
Many haiku sites no longer distinguish between haiku and senryu
as there exist many types of haiku
There are more opinions about haiku than grains of sand at the shore
You have solid imagery in the watermelon seed contest/picnic
and good connection of the teacher and kids in the satori
Excellent fun haiku
Enjoy the watermelon
Good luck in the contest
RS
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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This is a fine haiku for the contest
Many haiku sites no longer distinguish between haiku and senryu
as there exist many types of haiku
There are more opinions about haiku than grains of sand at the shore
You have solid imagery in the watermelon seed contest/picnic
and good connection of the teacher and kids in the satori
Excellent fun haiku
Enjoy the watermelon
Good luck in the contest
RS
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for all your comments, RS. I'm pleased you liked the watermelon haiku, and I'm specially glad you enjoyed the fun. I Agree with your comments about the different rules for haiku, and all the different forms. It sure can get confusing....especially trying to determine if it's haiku or senryu.
Smiles,
Karyn :-) T Nn
Comment from Mustang Patty
The presentation of your haiku is wonderful. The colors remind me of the juicy meat of the watermelon. I could see the contest in my mind and imagine the delight of the children when their teacher joined in. Thank you for sharing this work, along with your author's notes - more information for my poetic form collection.
~patty~
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
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The presentation of your haiku is wonderful. The colors remind me of the juicy meat of the watermelon. I could see the contest in my mind and imagine the delight of the children when their teacher joined in. Thank you for sharing this work, along with your author's notes - more information for my poetic form collection.
~patty~
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your kind review, Patty, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
