Missing Dad
A Tyburn3 total reviews
Comment from LisaD123
This is an entertaining read and I enjoyed the originality of the idea. I'm not sure if this will get past the committee as the adjectives should be completely within syllables 5-8 in the last two lines according to the examples. Good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 06-May-2017
This is an entertaining read and I enjoyed the originality of the idea. I'm not sure if this will get past the committee as the adjectives should be completely within syllables 5-8 in the last two lines according to the examples. Good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 06-May-2017
reply by the author on 06-May-2017
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Tyburns are not easy. Gave it my best shot anyway.
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Fixed it:
Fishing
Wishing
Dishing
Swishing
When I go fishing I'm wishing Dad
will soon be dishing my swishing shad
Comment from rspoet
This could be a slid entry for the contest but it needs some correction
The syllables are fine at 2, 2, 2, 2, 9, 9.
but the five through eight repeats are off
Should be something like:
When I hear the fishing, swishing sound
the last line must end in 'wishing, dishing' and a one syllable word also
You can switch the position of the words if you like
Excellent picture to match
With changes, an excellent entry
Good luck
reply by the author on 06-May-2017
This could be a slid entry for the contest but it needs some correction
The syllables are fine at 2, 2, 2, 2, 9, 9.
but the five through eight repeats are off
Should be something like:
When I hear the fishing, swishing sound
the last line must end in 'wishing, dishing' and a one syllable word also
You can switch the position of the words if you like
Excellent picture to match
With changes, an excellent entry
Good luck
Comment Written 06-May-2017
reply by the author on 06-May-2017
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Thanks for the suggestions!
Comment from Mustang Patty
thank you for sharing this charming poem. I've never heard of this poetic form before, and it certainly looks more challenging than the instructions may indicate. You have managed to make it look easy! Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 06-May-2017
thank you for sharing this charming poem. I've never heard of this poetic form before, and it certainly looks more challenging than the instructions may indicate. You have managed to make it look easy! Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 06-May-2017
reply by the author on 06-May-2017
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Thank you. It's challenging. But fun!