To Carve a Dream
Free Verse of a dream denied and a life cut short13 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
Great narrative storytelling in a poem. Well thought out and clearly written. Creative. Good details. Good flow of rhythm and rhymes. Nice work. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Great narrative storytelling in a poem. Well thought out and clearly written. Creative. Good details. Good flow of rhythm and rhymes. Nice work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Hello!
Much appreciated!
diane
Comment from WalkerMan
What a horrid irony that this kind and loving young man would survive the worst of war and captivity only to die (with so many similar comrades) by the then unknowing "hand" of a submarine captain on his own side, who then could not live with the outcome. War is always such a waste!
This post is a magnificent tribute to your uncle whom you never met, capturing his likely thoughts and dreams before they all were so cruelly taken from him. His dust now nourishes the very pine trees whose wood he might otherwise have carved so beautifully as the piece you have as remembrance. If he could read this post, he would cherish you for your empathy in writing it. Surely his spirit senses it. Superb, and most aptly illustrated. You misted my eyes with this one.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2018
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What a horrid irony that this kind and loving young man would survive the worst of war and captivity only to die (with so many similar comrades) by the then unknowing "hand" of a submarine captain on his own side, who then could not live with the outcome. War is always such a waste!
This post is a magnificent tribute to your uncle whom you never met, capturing his likely thoughts and dreams before they all were so cruelly taken from him. His dust now nourishes the very pine trees whose wood he might otherwise have carved so beautifully as the piece you have as remembrance. If he could read this post, he would cherish you for your empathy in writing it. Surely his spirit senses it. Superb, and most aptly illustrated. You misted my eyes with this one.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your kind and thoughtful review. I have penned a few other poems over the years regarding my uncle's life and experience: "What Price Courage?" "I Heard America Call My Name," and "Carving Hope in Cabanatuan." So many emotions surround his life and passing... I just do not want my family to forget...
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You are most welcome, and congratulations. I still think your post was the best in that contest. Also, I'm surprised at not having encountered your fine writing sooner. Yes, keep focus on the good in your uncle's life, as people don't like to be reminded of sadness but cherish fond memories. -- Mike
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Your kind words are much appreciated. I was very active on the site for a number of years, and have just recently returned. I hope to post more of my offerings soon...
Comment from RodG
This tribute to your uncle was very moving. We see a young man--an artist-- cheated out of the life he wanted by war. I especially like the opening where we SEE him putting his last carving away.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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This tribute to your uncle was very moving. We see a young man--an artist-- cheated out of the life he wanted by war. I especially like the opening where we SEE him putting his last carving away.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your kind review...
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements stunningly. The rhyme and meter are sublime throughout this well penned piece. The story is simply beautiful as the haunting imagery of a full life ended in its prime is moving. All the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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This meets the contest requirements stunningly. The rhyme and meter are sublime throughout this well penned piece. The story is simply beautiful as the haunting imagery of a full life ended in its prime is moving. All the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Thank you ever so much!
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My pleasure! You certainly earned my vote.
Comment from patcelaw
So many talented and good men died in that war and many such as this person uncle Bill. The died with valor. I like the way you have told us the story and feel honored to learn if this life. Patricia
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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So many talented and good men died in that war and many such as this person uncle Bill. The died with valor. I like the way you have told us the story and feel honored to learn if this life. Patricia
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Free verse poem about an uncle who dreamed to be a wood carver and was sent to war and never returned. His legend will live in the hearts of his family.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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A very well-written Free verse poem about an uncle who dreamed to be a wood carver and was sent to war and never returned. His legend will live in the hearts of his family.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, :)
I am sorry about your uncle Bill. May he rest in eternal peace with arms of love surrounding him.
I have a suggestion: That you organize your author's notes into paragraphs and change the paragraph when you change the idea. I was a bit confused when you described the sinking of the ship and then went back to the beginning. :)
Bless you.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Hello, :)
I am sorry about your uncle Bill. May he rest in eternal peace with arms of love surrounding him.
I have a suggestion: That you organize your author's notes into paragraphs and change the paragraph when you change the idea. I was a bit confused when you described the sinking of the ship and then went back to the beginning. :)
Bless you.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Hello!
I see what you mean!
Thank you!
Comment from Ricky1024
The life you must live writing prompt musics excellent and well-written with semen imagery it flowed well read well with no grammar issue so to speak eject an object of contents were firmly in place an excellent just gifted measures line perfectly good luck in the contest dr. Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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The life you must live writing prompt musics excellent and well-written with semen imagery it flowed well read well with no grammar issue so to speak eject an object of contents were firmly in place an excellent just gifted measures line perfectly good luck in the contest dr. Ricky 1024
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An honourable tribute to a soldier who has not been forgotten here in your poem of warm and sentimental words, we owe all soldiers so much, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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An honourable tribute to a soldier who has not been forgotten here in your poem of warm and sentimental words, we owe all soldiers so much, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
A harrowing story told in your author notes and a poem that captures the pointlessness of war and the waste of human life and talent. How you must cherish that lone reminder of your uncle.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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A harrowing story told in your author notes and a poem that captures the pointlessness of war and the waste of human life and talent. How you must cherish that lone reminder of your uncle.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Appreciation for your kind review.
