Having To Go!
Being stuck in a elevator is not fun.5 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Congratulations on your win, Alie. I don't like enclosed spaces either. Scary stuff. In the hospitals around here, we have transport people whose job it is to especially do that function. I would expect those people are not claustrophobic since they may spend a lot of time in elevators.
This sentence kind of got me going: "Good, now we will play cards, your choice of games and my lap will be the table." Doesn't sound like a good idea to use the man's crotch as a table, but I guess it all worked out. Gave me a giggle to read that, though. Again, congrats. Marilyn
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2018
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Congratulations on your win, Alie. I don't like enclosed spaces either. Scary stuff. In the hospitals around here, we have transport people whose job it is to especially do that function. I would expect those people are not claustrophobic since they may spend a lot of time in elevators.
This sentence kind of got me going: "Good, now we will play cards, your choice of games and my lap will be the table." Doesn't sound like a good idea to use the man's crotch as a table, but I guess it all worked out. Gave me a giggle to read that, though. Again, congrats. Marilyn
Comment Written 25-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2018
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Thanks Marilyn, as always I really appreciate it when you read and review. Lol, I had to laugh when you mentioned the man's lap, I thought the same briefly but the idea of being distracted was too great. I am so glad you enjoyed. Oh, thank you for the congratulations and the six stars.
Comment from APyburn-Phifer
A mixture of emotions in a closed in space, an elevator. Three hours is definitely a long time to be confined but having a deck of cards will distract from the situation.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2018
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A mixture of emotions in a closed in space, an elevator. Three hours is definitely a long time to be confined but having a deck of cards will distract from the situation.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2018
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Thank you for reading and reviewing and for your observant comments.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Quite a different approach to the prompt here, which makes a nice change. good tone to it.
It require a light sedation - required. However, you use required three times in two sentences here, so an alternative may be a good idea.
I inhaled sharply, in other words, I gasped. - why not just say I gasped. It's just filler.
The pack of cards just seemed to appear out of nowhere. Maybe a mention of these earlier or where he produced them from.
beckoned to me and whispered "I have to go, do you mind?" - insert a comma after whispered.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2018
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Hi there,
Quite a different approach to the prompt here, which makes a nice change. good tone to it.
It require a light sedation - required. However, you use required three times in two sentences here, so an alternative may be a good idea.
I inhaled sharply, in other words, I gasped. - why not just say I gasped. It's just filler.
The pack of cards just seemed to appear out of nowhere. Maybe a mention of these earlier or where he produced them from.
beckoned to me and whispered "I have to go, do you mind?" - insert a comma after whispered.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 23-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2018
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Thank you for reading and reviewing and for the corrective suggestions. I appreciate your comments. I will get those corrections shortly.
Comment from Ricky1024
This was an interesting and well written piece.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content and Objective Content were excellent.
Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this and have a blessed day.
Dr Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2018
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This was an interesting and well written piece.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content and Objective Content were excellent.
Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this and have a blessed day.
Dr Ricky 1024
Comment Written 23-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2018
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, I truly appreciate your kind comments and good luck wishes. Blessed be.
Comment from RodG
I enjoyed this story very much because (1) the characters came to life and.(2) the narrator made me believe she was a real nurse. I can believe someone with claustrophobia would walk up nine flights of stairs rather Han take an elevator. I can also believe someone who overcame his fear could teach someone else how to overcome hers.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2018
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I enjoyed this story very much because (1) the characters came to life and.(2) the narrator made me believe she was a real nurse. I can believe someone with claustrophobia would walk up nine flights of stairs rather Han take an elevator. I can also believe someone who overcame his fear could teach someone else how to overcome hers.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2018
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, I appreciate your kind comments.
