Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Survival Skills "Free verse poems
23 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Pride and challenging circumstance seem to be a recipe for disaster, yet many men and women have been lured into that clash between, nature, circumstance, chance with the odds mostly on the side of pragmatic common sense. Not that common sense is common. It's obvious this has had a long term affect on you, and will probably not diminish, even with time, like the suicidal death of a young friend on me. Well done, you've described your young love's conflict with his own nature very well, good job Carol, blesings, Roy
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Pride and challenging circumstance seem to be a recipe for disaster, yet many men and women have been lured into that clash between, nature, circumstance, chance with the odds mostly on the side of pragmatic common sense. Not that common sense is common. It's obvious this has had a long term affect on you, and will probably not diminish, even with time, like the suicidal death of a young friend on me. Well done, you've described your young love's conflict with his own nature very well, good job Carol, blesings, Roy
Comment Written 28-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Yes, these things do have lasting effects. It is life changing, and I often feel that my life has two parts - before and after that event. Just meeting him took my life onto a path that I could never have imagined. Thanks for understanding, Roy, and I'm sorry to hear of your friends suicide - so incredibly painful. My brother had a girlfriend years ago who killed herself in his house. That's another story....
blessings :))
Carol
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So tragic Carol.
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
What a heart-wrenching story. Your words are very hauntingly beautiful, however. Your free-verse flows to tell the anguish you went through. I can't imagine! This is a wonderful contest entry.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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What a heart-wrenching story. Your words are very hauntingly beautiful, however. Your free-verse flows to tell the anguish you went through. I can't imagine! This is a wonderful contest entry.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much!
Carol
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
One of the most moving free verse poetic offerings it has been my privilege to read and review on FanStory. Your offering begs to be read aloud and carries the reader through your lines...like an avalanche. My son is a mountain climber; enough said.
Form, technique = free-falling and poignant.
Exquisite rendering.
Thank you!
diane
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Hello!
One of the most moving free verse poetic offerings it has been my privilege to read and review on FanStory. Your offering begs to be read aloud and carries the reader through your lines...like an avalanche. My son is a mountain climber; enough said.
Form, technique = free-falling and poignant.
Exquisite rendering.
Thank you!
diane
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Tell your son to be careful, lol! The best mountaineers know when to back off, and come home safe (usually). I know my parents were so worried about me back in my younger days, after the time of this poem.
Thank you for this fantastic review, I really appreciate it :))
Carol
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Oh! He is definitely careful, Carol!
Again, an exquisite offering!
diane
Comment from mermaids
The word avalanche makes it clear what the poem is about. Your use of words is vivid and gives me chills, an avalanche must be so scary. I like your line about grief remaining, so true. There is a feeling of loss in your words that impacts the reader.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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The word avalanche makes it clear what the poem is about. Your use of words is vivid and gives me chills, an avalanche must be so scary. I like your line about grief remaining, so true. There is a feeling of loss in your words that impacts the reader.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much, yes grief never goes away but it gets less painful with time...
Carol
Comment from LoveLifeKnight
i love this . its a beautiful poem written from an awful tragedy. therefore i find it inspiring. i also find it inspiring that you learned to understand what happened and stayed in nature despite that.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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i love this . its a beautiful poem written from an awful tragedy. therefore i find it inspiring. i also find it inspiring that you learned to understand what happened and stayed in nature despite that.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Thank you...yes, I stayed in nature and know that I saved at least one or two lives. One lady I dug up from an avalanche, that was amazing. I made it through my own years of reckless behavior, it's the luck of the draw sometimes.
Carol
Comment from Cass Carlton
When you think about it the poem isn't really about "the snow." It is about a proud young man who lost his life in an avalanche. The trap that led him to take that fatal step and the tragic aftermath. The poem is well written in blank verse lending a sad feeling of long ago thoughts still impinging on present days. The poet now knows why this young man died, what it was that led to his death, but it is small comfort to her even after so long. The pain of loss and sorrow still holds her in its thrall.The Artwork is of ice crystals, very beautiful but deadly. The poem is a lovely tribute to the young man who died so many years ago.RIP Cass
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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When you think about it the poem isn't really about "the snow." It is about a proud young man who lost his life in an avalanche. The trap that led him to take that fatal step and the tragic aftermath. The poem is well written in blank verse lending a sad feeling of long ago thoughts still impinging on present days. The poet now knows why this young man died, what it was that led to his death, but it is small comfort to her even after so long. The pain of loss and sorrow still holds her in its thrall.The Artwork is of ice crystals, very beautiful but deadly. The poem is a lovely tribute to the young man who died so many years ago.RIP Cass
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Thank you, dear Cass. Yes, I know now exactly what killed him. The weather conditions leading to avalanche conditions, his choice of route finding - it was a trap laid by human nature. What would his life come to if this hadn't happened? Where would I be now? One just can't know these things, but I like to think I saved at least a few lives in my forecasting...
hugs,
Carol
Comment from Just2Write
This poem is raw and yet, beautiful in its sad way. Tragedy is never beautiful, but sorrow and love is. There are some incredibly moving tributes to loss and regret here, Carol.
We have many avalanches here. The power unleashed in them is mind boggling. Even the most experienced can be swallowed up by them. You are able to bring out the dynamics of the event while letting us feel the moment of sorrow and the life change that came from it. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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This poem is raw and yet, beautiful in its sad way. Tragedy is never beautiful, but sorrow and love is. There are some incredibly moving tributes to loss and regret here, Carol.
We have many avalanches here. The power unleashed in them is mind boggling. Even the most experienced can be swallowed up by them. You are able to bring out the dynamics of the event while letting us feel the moment of sorrow and the life change that came from it. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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I know you do have many avalanches in your area, and the power is indeed impressive. That event changed my life forever, who knows what might have come about if not for that accident?
Thanks so much for the review and your comments,
Carol
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Knowing about you past I knew you were talking about the death of your boyfriend. It had to be terrible to lose a loved one at such a young age. I know it must have haunted you for some time. Loved the metaphors in the poem. Well done Carol.:) Nancy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Knowing about you past I knew you were talking about the death of your boyfriend. It had to be terrible to lose a loved one at such a young age. I know it must have haunted you for some time. Loved the metaphors in the poem. Well done Carol.:) Nancy
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Thanks, Nancy, I appreciate your review as I know free verse is not your favorite :))
Carol
Comment from Mark Valentine
Beginning with the title and subtitle, this poem is so powerful for those of us who know the backstory. "Survival Skills" has such a profound double meaning, as does "How to live and die in Avalanche Country".
I love the phrase " the young man''s curse" to describe the need to push boundaries.
The language in your penultimate paragraph manages to be poetic and scientific at the same time - a neat trick. The colorful imagery and the stark contrasts of the last paragraph ("luminous chaos", "streaks of scarlet", " wreckage of white") are jarring.
I don't think the poem loses anything because the word "snow" is absent, though the contrast of red blood and white snow is a stark image - I think it is understood. Great!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Beginning with the title and subtitle, this poem is so powerful for those of us who know the backstory. "Survival Skills" has such a profound double meaning, as does "How to live and die in Avalanche Country".
I love the phrase " the young man''s curse" to describe the need to push boundaries.
The language in your penultimate paragraph manages to be poetic and scientific at the same time - a neat trick. The colorful imagery and the stark contrasts of the last paragraph ("luminous chaos", "streaks of scarlet", " wreckage of white") are jarring.
I don't think the poem loses anything because the word "snow" is absent, though the contrast of red blood and white snow is a stark image - I think it is understood. Great!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Hi Mark, I hope it works for people who don't know me too, I may try reading it to one of the groups I go to. Turns out there are open mic poetry sessions several times a month around here so I started going. Thanks, as always, for your supportive comments and the superlative rating. I was hoping that image of red and white would stand out in spite of leaving the word "snow" out.
Carol
Comment from RGstar
What a beautiful write. Resolute, sturdy, yet, intricate and finely woven.
I have been away a few months, so my sixes are quickly used up. So happy I had one left for this.
Bravo.
Well done.
Good luck with it.
RG
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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What a beautiful write. Resolute, sturdy, yet, intricate and finely woven.
I have been away a few months, so my sixes are quickly used up. So happy I had one left for this.
Bravo.
Well done.
Good luck with it.
RG
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Wow, thank you, I love those descriptions. Thank you so much for your last remaining six. I hope to see some of your work here soon as well :))
Carol
