Reviews from

Down the rabbit hole

Time travel isn't always fun

22 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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I hear this idiom constantly. Ido not know what it is. Of course I could look up the origin of it. My mind immediately goes the story of Alice in
Wonderland where the rabbit disappears in the rabbit hole. That seems to be a metaphor for thyr concept of the newer idiom or new term of ghosting. But that doesn't seem to fit into the context most mention it.
I would love to be enlightened.

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2023


reply by the author on 16-Nov-2023
    Going down the rabbit hole means to enter into a situation or begin a process or journey that is particularly strange, problematic, difficult, complex, or chaotic, especially one that becomes increasingly so as it develops or unfolds. Thank you for reading this submission it wa actually the first thing I wrote on Fanstory.
reply by Liz O'Neill on 17-Nov-2023



    cool...It does sound a bit like the the chaos of Alice
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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No WONDER this was the contest winner! I' stunned at the depths of your imagination! I was sucked right in like at the wrong end of a Hoover Deluxe! Very nice double flying twist at the dismount...with the rabbit foot and all. You executed well throughout...and STUCK THE LANDING! --Karenina

 Comment Written 25-May-2021


reply by the author on 26-May-2021
    This was my very first post on Fanstory. Thanks for giving it a look.
reply by karenina on 26-May-2021
    THAT must have been encouraging! Your first post being a contest winner! --Karenina
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
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This is really really good Earl but you forgot Jim Bowie and Daniel Boone?
Ahh, but that's alright you made up for it.
Time travel and bringing back something from time.
(A Movie)
Is that where you got the idea with the rabbits foot?
Congratulations on your win.
Dr. Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
    Thanks Dr. Ricky, I appreciate you reading and reviewing this piece.
Comment from Derrick Payton
Excellent
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I thoroughly enjoyed this work. The elements of humor, mystery, and great detail all mixed well for this creative story. I was drawn in from the beginning and remained in it visually throughout.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Contests

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A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much, this was my very first work i posted on Fanstory. I appreciate eveyone's help on this site.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
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This is very good. It's an excellent contest submission. I'm glad I decided not to enter. You saved me some funny money. I never win anyway Good luck.

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
    Just because you don't win doesnt mean you shouldnt take every opportunity not to hone your craft.keep at it, it'll come.i do appreciate the comments and the rating.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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You did a good job with your time travel entry, Earl. I enjoyed reading it and know the story of the Alamo well. Your attention to detail shows and your lines have good flow. I like the dialogue you incorporated and the rabbit's foot at the end. I remember you won a contest recently so this isn't your first contest entry, right?

you look a little peaked" (capitalize the y on You)
Men we're in dire straits here, there aren't an y (any)reinforcements

Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    The contest is closed, I don't think I can make any edits. I appreciate the comments and the pointers.
reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 05-Nov-2018
    You can still edit although the CEC may have already seen it.
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
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nice work up for this story I like Davey and its what I watch every morning while waiting for Matlock to come on he does quite well for himself and the Alamo was a sad ending for him and his friends who followed him to the ends of the earth for freedom.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    It was absolutely a sad day. He was my childhood hero, this was kind of a no brainer to write. Glad you enjoyed it.
reply by country ranch writer on 06-Nov-2018
    smiles
Comment from Sally Law
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well Earl, you earned yourself a sixer for this outstanding piece! Bravo! I will be voting for you in the contest, as well. I appreciate the way you uphold American history in your writings. Good and bad, it is what it is. Just a second ago, history was made. I for one love history and can't get enough. "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." I am glad I have a good memory and you are kind to remind us all here on FanStory.
All my best to you and yours,
Sally

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you Sally. Since i'm a history teacher in real life I try very hard to keep true to the facts. The most read history text is a newspaper, so I'm right there with you. I appreciate the six star rating and you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from K. R. Ward
Good
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Hello. Great plot! It was a fun and engaging read.
Couple things:
It's first person, so you don't need quotes for his thoughts.
When the Colonel drew the line, did everyone step over? And did our MC only step over because he wasn't supposed to be there (if so, that's cool, it adds to his character).
Did they wear moccasins? I thought they just wore boots...
I wanted there to be more of a build up to the MC reaching for his rabbit's foot and realizing that it was more than just a dream... and that he should have grabbed something more valuable when he was there, lol.
Best of luck! Great work!

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    The MC had moccasins on. I was worried about length when I wrote this back in September, it was my very first work on Fanstory. Thank you for reading and reviewing my work.