Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Not Invisible"Free verse poems
21 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
For most of today I have been researching tanka for notes to be written for my forthcoming tanka class. Reading this poem I am struck by the similarity of much of it to the tanka form. The separated statements, many of them of seven or fewer syllables, although that is of lesser importance, but this is written in a similar minimalistic style to Japanese short-form poetry.
I must ask whether this was conciously done and if so what your reason was for adopting that style, which is very effective and seems to imply a native American feel to to it.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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For most of today I have been researching tanka for notes to be written for my forthcoming tanka class. Reading this poem I am struck by the similarity of much of it to the tanka form. The separated statements, many of them of seven or fewer syllables, although that is of lesser importance, but this is written in a similar minimalistic style to Japanese short-form poetry.
I must ask whether this was conciously done and if so what your reason was for adopting that style, which is very effective and seems to imply a native American feel to to it.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I do not think it was consciously done. On some level, I wanted a minimalist style, the way you would tell a very sad story when you had to be pragmatic about it so you wouldn't start weeping and be unable to stop. Does that make sense? I did want it to have a Native American feel so I'm glad that came through.
You know, at one poetry reading I went to in Malibu, a guy asked me if I was Native American - because of the style of my poetry. Wow! I felt that to be high praise.
Thank you for this, how interesting that the style reminded you of tanka!
Comment from CD Richards
A most disturbing article, the gist of which you have conveyed most impressively in this somewhat distressing poem, Carol. Sadly, it always seems the most vulnerable that become "invisible", and when something happens to them, often it's just ignored or given a token acknowledgement by law enforcement. If it's a politician's or businessman's daughter that goes missing, it's quite a different story.
One figure which would be interesting to know is the relative percentage of missing people who have been reported missing and subsequently verified to have simply "gone walkabout" (a term used by indigenous people here), compared to those who are known to have met with foul play. I suspect maybe the percentage of the former would be larger among the well-to-do.
A fine job, thanks for sharing.
Craig
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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A most disturbing article, the gist of which you have conveyed most impressively in this somewhat distressing poem, Carol. Sadly, it always seems the most vulnerable that become "invisible", and when something happens to them, often it's just ignored or given a token acknowledgement by law enforcement. If it's a politician's or businessman's daughter that goes missing, it's quite a different story.
One figure which would be interesting to know is the relative percentage of missing people who have been reported missing and subsequently verified to have simply "gone walkabout" (a term used by indigenous people here), compared to those who are known to have met with foul play. I suspect maybe the percentage of the former would be larger among the well-to-do.
A fine job, thanks for sharing.
Craig
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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You're right, it is distressing. The minute I started to read the article I knew I had to write about it - but it makes me very sad. It would be interesting to know how many just "disappear" like your folks do, and I really don't know. Often young women who disappear like that end up in sex trafficking.
Sounds like you read the article, Craig, I wonder how many people will. Honestly I've only had a few reviews, maybe it's too depressing.
Carol
Comment from Gloria ....
This is such a sad story that has been a tragedy of decades. There is a road here that is called the Highway of Tears where dozens of Indian woman have disappeared and been later found murdered. The most downtrodden of all peoples is Indian women because they get it from all quarters.
A terrific poem, Carol and a tragedy that needs to be told over and over and over again.
Gloria
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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This is such a sad story that has been a tragedy of decades. There is a road here that is called the Highway of Tears where dozens of Indian woman have disappeared and been later found murdered. The most downtrodden of all peoples is Indian women because they get it from all quarters.
A terrific poem, Carol and a tragedy that needs to be told over and over and over again.
Gloria
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I agree with you about the status of Indian women - it is terrible and I'm glad to help bring attention to their plight (in Fanstory, although I haven't had that many reviews, oh well).
Thank you,
Carol
Comment from Hugh McDowell
Very powerful and very sad poem. As if the near genocide of Native Americans wasn't enough, the remaining few are still prey. Women are especially vulnerable. The greatest predator they face is man. The pain the survivors face must be unbearable. Excellent. Hugh
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Very powerful and very sad poem. As if the near genocide of Native Americans wasn't enough, the remaining few are still prey. Women are especially vulnerable. The greatest predator they face is man. The pain the survivors face must be unbearable. Excellent. Hugh
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I agree their whole history once the 'white men' showed up has been tragic and deadly for them. It must be so terrible to lose such a beautiful young woman and never find a trace of her.
Thanks, Hugh,
Carol
Comment from watergirl
I like this searching, yearning song of both desperation and perhaps hope. The unity to the land is glimpsed, the female quality of caring, of needing, is seen. I like your poem, keep writing please. It is passionate and also realistic, practical. Hmm....
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I like this searching, yearning song of both desperation and perhaps hope. The unity to the land is glimpsed, the female quality of caring, of needing, is seen. I like your poem, keep writing please. It is passionate and also realistic, practical. Hmm....
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I love that hope continues. If you read the article, the older sister once told her sister when they went into foster care that they would never be separated again. She's the one who would search until she's 80. I do hope to keep writing, thank you for your support :))
Carol
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about the vanished women of the Black Feet Nation, and states about the epidemic of Native American women and girls, nothing invisible, human cruelties; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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This speaks about the vanished women of the Black Feet Nation, and states about the epidemic of Native American women and girls, nothing invisible, human cruelties; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you, I think it is important for people to realize what is happening in our midst...
Carol
Comment from royowen
Having two precious daughters, I think the pain and loss would be almost intolerable and unbearable, I've been extremely fortunate, that they've always been safe, indigenous women and children here are the most abused, but mainly by their own.an excellent free verse Carol, capturing all the pathos and tragedy of this situation. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Having two precious daughters, I think the pain and loss would be almost intolerable and unbearable, I've been extremely fortunate, that they've always been safe, indigenous women and children here are the most abused, but mainly by their own.an excellent free verse Carol, capturing all the pathos and tragedy of this situation. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Oh yes, it would be unbearable. These womean are indeed abused by their own as well, I believe - so very sad. I still think we should not look away, but try to help if we can,
Carol
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They do try, but it's indirectly our fault, bit of a mess.
Comment from oliver818
I enjoyed your poem. The imagery is wonderful, very evocative. I especially enjoyed the ending. Thanks for sharing this and have yourself a really great day
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I enjoyed your poem. The imagery is wonderful, very evocative. I especially enjoyed the ending. Thanks for sharing this and have yourself a really great day
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you, I appreciate your review,
Carol
Comment from kahpot
What a wonderful, disturbing, and very sad read and I forgot to mention "proud" the pride and need of a people to find and bring home their own, to find a reason, to let everybody know she is a person and is missed, has been seen and will be again, never invisible, thank you for sharing****kahpot
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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What a wonderful, disturbing, and very sad read and I forgot to mention "proud" the pride and need of a people to find and bring home their own, to find a reason, to let everybody know she is a person and is missed, has been seen and will be again, never invisible, thank you for sharing****kahpot
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you so much, I appreciate your comments and input - yes it is a sad and disturbing reality on the reservations,
Carol
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I didn't know this until reading your informative post. Evidently, they truly are invisible. We never hear about the plight of Native American women. What a tragedy.
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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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I didn't know this until reading your informative post. Evidently, they truly are invisible. We never hear about the plight of Native American women. What a tragedy.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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I agree, it is so tragic. It happens frequently in my home state of Montana, where I grew up. I am saddened that so few people know about this,
Carol
