Old Jimbo
100 Word Dash12 total reviews
Comment from donette1914
wow i felt i was watching a movie
well chosen words that you used
this is a very well penned story
very nice artwork and I hope for the best in the contest
it was a pleasure to read
thank you for sharing
donette1914 Sep, 8th 2018
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2018
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wow i felt i was watching a movie
well chosen words that you used
this is a very well penned story
very nice artwork and I hope for the best in the contest
it was a pleasure to read
thank you for sharing
donette1914 Sep, 8th 2018
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2018
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Thank you for a great review. I am grateful for your encouragement.
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, Old Jimbo, tells a straight up tale that gives us setting, characters, a dilemma, and the resolution. It's even a happy ending. Neat.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2018
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This one-hundred-word story, Old Jimbo, tells a straight up tale that gives us setting, characters, a dilemma, and the resolution. It's even a happy ending. Neat.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2018
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Thank you.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is a good contest entry. I have read other entries. So far, yours is the best. You stand a good chance of winning. Not much longer to go before we find out.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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This is a good contest entry. I have read other entries. So far, yours is the best. You stand a good chance of winning. Not much longer to go before we find out.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you Thomas!
Comment from Kelly Grim
Nice story! Setting is strong (I like it!), main character too! Conflict and resolution present and accounted for. This man's plan (his life) was suddenly and unexpectedly upended, and gratefully he accepts the children. Your word choice is good and definitely helps set the scene and build tension. Good luck in the contest!!!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Nice story! Setting is strong (I like it!), main character too! Conflict and resolution present and accounted for. This man's plan (his life) was suddenly and unexpectedly upended, and gratefully he accepts the children. Your word choice is good and definitely helps set the scene and build tension. Good luck in the contest!!!
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you very much.
Comment from mackenzietastan
This story managed to be both heart-wrenching and heartwarming in only 100 words. I wanted to know why the family had been split apart in the first place. Nice work!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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This story managed to be both heart-wrenching and heartwarming in only 100 words. I wanted to know why the family had been split apart in the first place. Nice work!
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thanks so much for the good review.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job, Mystery Author, with your contest entry. I enjoyed reading it. You made readers unsure of what was going to happen next--even in this short piece. Would Jimbo have killed the intruders? Your picture is a good choice-a real mountain man. Best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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You did a good job, Mystery Author, with your contest entry. I enjoyed reading it. You made readers unsure of what was going to happen next--even in this short piece. Would Jimbo have killed the intruders? Your picture is a good choice-a real mountain man. Best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Jan!
Comment from Earl Corp
I recognize how hard it is to do 100 word flash fiction. I don't think 100 words did this story justice. And I'm not sure if it met the criteria of having a Main Character, Setting, Conflict, and Resolution.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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I recognize how hard it is to do 100 word flash fiction. I don't think 100 words did this story justice. And I'm not sure if it met the criteria of having a Main Character, Setting, Conflict, and Resolution.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Thank you.
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent story that captures a great deal in just one hundred words.
Not sure why old Jimbo was by himself, but he did the right thing
and welcomed his kids seamlessly.
Well done with an excellent picture to match
Good luck in the contest
RS
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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This is an excellent story that captures a great deal in just one hundred words.
Not sure why old Jimbo was by himself, but he did the right thing
and welcomed his kids seamlessly.
Well done with an excellent picture to match
Good luck in the contest
RS
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Thank you. I?m grateful for your encouragement.
Comment from phill doran
Hello Anon
Very good: Main Character (tick - a very clear and strong character) Setting (tick - again, deft description with a few words, light strokes, high impact), Conflict (tickish, I can read the writer's intent, there is a moment when Jimmy and Jimbo come together with potentially alternate views), Resolution (big tick: wrapped up well, in character and the story can continue in the readers mind.) All in all, very well drawn on a tiny canvas.
I am sure you've checked, but Bill Gates and I concur that this is, in fact, 100 words on the nose. This may reassure you.
A small point but at teh text "Who's in my cabin?" you have closed off the dialogue with a single inverted comma when you have elsewhere used double inverted commas.
This is a strong entry - I wish you well in your contest and with your further writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Hello Anon
Very good: Main Character (tick - a very clear and strong character) Setting (tick - again, deft description with a few words, light strokes, high impact), Conflict (tickish, I can read the writer's intent, there is a moment when Jimmy and Jimbo come together with potentially alternate views), Resolution (big tick: wrapped up well, in character and the story can continue in the readers mind.) All in all, very well drawn on a tiny canvas.
I am sure you've checked, but Bill Gates and I concur that this is, in fact, 100 words on the nose. This may reassure you.
A small point but at teh text "Who's in my cabin?" you have closed off the dialogue with a single inverted comma when you have elsewhere used double inverted commas.
This is a strong entry - I wish you well in your contest and with your further writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Thank you Phil for an awesome review. I will definitely correct the punctuation and reconsider the ... tick-ish conflict.... I was hoping the uncertainty in Jimmy?s voice and question about whether they could stay as enough conflict, but I will rethink that part. Thanks again!
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Hello Anon
thank you for the response and recognition - but bear in mind that mine is only a single opinion, and I might not be the yardstick you should work against...I would recommend you take in the other reviewer's opinions too and look for common comments (if any). I really do wish you well with this piece...
cheers
phill
Comment from Sally Law
This is no small feat setting a scene and telling a story in just 100 words. Excellent job. Not a word was wasted. Too bad it has to end here. The picture you chose was perfect. I'm sure you will do well in the contest.
All the best,
Sally
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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This is no small feat setting a scene and telling a story in just 100 words. Excellent job. Not a word was wasted. Too bad it has to end here. The picture you chose was perfect. I'm sure you will do well in the contest.
All the best,
Sally
Comment Written 07-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Sally.
