Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Stop And Smell The Roses"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
7 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Nice use of alliteration weaving through this chapter. This is immediately right on & you will draw the reader in to identify: " the achievement forced him to appreciate the world. To remain in the moment proved harder yet." I love the way he dealt with the librarian.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2022
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Nice use of alliteration weaving through this chapter. This is immediately right on & you will draw the reader in to identify: " the achievement forced him to appreciate the world. To remain in the moment proved harder yet." I love the way he dealt with the librarian.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the review.
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Fun
Comment from judiverse
It's interesting to have the sheriff's re-election campaign come up just at the time the Astatula Assassin scare is escalating. Great insights into Cody's behavior and his mistreatment by his father. "Center of matriculation" sounds a bit too fanciful, and grassy knoll brings up thoughts of the JFK assassination. Would an 80 year old still be working as a school librarian? Seems unlikely to me. Ending leaves me questioning what will come next. I doubt that it's the principal who has him transfixed. So I'm curious. judi
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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It's interesting to have the sheriff's re-election campaign come up just at the time the Astatula Assassin scare is escalating. Great insights into Cody's behavior and his mistreatment by his father. "Center of matriculation" sounds a bit too fanciful, and grassy knoll brings up thoughts of the JFK assassination. Would an 80 year old still be working as a school librarian? Seems unlikely to me. Ending leaves me questioning what will come next. I doubt that it's the principal who has him transfixed. So I'm curious. judi
Comment Written 13-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the comments about the particular aspects mentioned.
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You're very welcome. judi
Comment from LaRosa
You use enough commonly heard expressions to add to the character of the story: 'stop and smell the roses', 'no more teachers' dirty looks', and which take us back to our own childhoods.
How easy it is to relate to the idea that Cody longed to fly away from the real world he is imprisoned by. It's a captivating phrase that sets us up to understand why he reads 'dark' stories.
How Original:
'a frenzied detonation of ecstatic children'
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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You use enough commonly heard expressions to add to the character of the story: 'stop and smell the roses', 'no more teachers' dirty looks', and which take us back to our own childhoods.
How easy it is to relate to the idea that Cody longed to fly away from the real world he is imprisoned by. It's a captivating phrase that sets us up to understand why he reads 'dark' stories.
How Original:
'a frenzied detonation of ecstatic children'
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Appreciate your comments and support. Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed reading this chapter, Brett. You gave readers some good background info about the setting, the school, and Cody's outlook on his life to this point. I like the way you described the things he enjoyed like the roses..
It rounds me out," Earl Anthony Schroder used to constantly disclose. (I don't believe the word 'It' needs a capital letter)
A mean snarl crossed Mrs. Truman's face. Her hawk-beaked nose, with it's prominent bridge, the distinguished feature
(the sentence that starts 'Her hawk . . . . .is an incomplete sentence.)
Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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I enjoyed reading this chapter, Brett. You gave readers some good background info about the setting, the school, and Cody's outlook on his life to this point. I like the way you described the things he enjoyed like the roses..
It rounds me out," Earl Anthony Schroder used to constantly disclose. (I don't believe the word 'It' needs a capital letter)
A mean snarl crossed Mrs. Truman's face. Her hawk-beaked nose, with it's prominent bridge, the distinguished feature
(the sentence that starts 'Her hawk . . . . .is an incomplete sentence.)
Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Appreciate your comments and support. Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from Earl Corp
Very descriptive while speaking about the librarian, Mrs. Truman. I could easily picture her because the description actually fit my elementary school librarian.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Very descriptive while speaking about the librarian, Mrs. Truman. I could easily picture her because the description actually fit my elementary school librarian.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from WildWithWords
A convincing piece of writing still in the early chapters and still fleshing out characters. Professionally written and edited cleanly.
" Sourpuss" is one of my favorite monikers to hand a person. LOL!
Keep up the good work.
Bill (WildWithWords)
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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A convincing piece of writing still in the early chapters and still fleshing out characters. Professionally written and edited cleanly.
" Sourpuss" is one of my favorite monikers to hand a person. LOL!
Keep up the good work.
Bill (WildWithWords)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Sankey
Good reading as usual. I am guessing I may not have been this far back in Cody's original tale you brought us. Just one spag tthis time... and sexual(ly) abused Cody (or you might only want 1 "l" on your side sorry.)
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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Good reading as usual. I am guessing I may not have been this far back in Cody's original tale you brought us. Just one spag tthis time... and sexual(ly) abused Cody (or you might only want 1 "l" on your side sorry.)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2018
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Appreciate the catch. It's the same on both sides of the pond. Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
