Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Another fine tanka. What really struck me first off was the juxtaposition of earshot and spiked, even though not directly connected in the way my mind processed it, it added another tone to your write. And nothing so fantastic as the sweet grumble of bears. lol. That is beautiful.

Keep writing because these are really good.

Gloria

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018

Thank you so much, I appreciate your feedback. I love bears! I'm scared of grizzlies, or let's call it a very healthy respect - but I still love them!!

Carol

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I like the double meaning derived from your title. Is he truly "spiked out" in that magical land up north, or is the Speaker bringing back images of her lost beau as seen in dreams? Either way, you set the scene well. Rod

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2018

I often have these dreams where I find out that he's been living in a remote mountain valley somewhere all this time...but it seems so ephemeral, even in the dream, that I liked the impermanent feel of the spike camp. Of course I spent a lot of time in those camps so there's my own history in there too.
Thanks, Rod :))
Carol

Comment from Rickie1

Excellent

A very touching story. I've never thought of bear as sweet. I love the back country. The poem is short and sweet. I am perfectly OK with dream inspired poetry. Dreams are just another reality.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018

It's not the bear that's sweet, I suppose it's the grumble that is, as the bear roots around contentedly for berries and grubs :)

Thanks so much for reading :))
Carol

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I like your tanka Carol, I get your meaning of the surreality.of your post. My wire and I were in St. Petersburg in Russia, in late summer, and drinking coffee at 11:00 pm in bright sunlight, so I also get the midnight sun. Well done, a great but great pivot line, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018

Thanks so much, Roy, it must have been really something to be in broad daylight at 11 PM!! Thanks for the compliment, much appreciated,
Carol

reply by royowen on 15-Sep-2018

It was indeed.

Comment from Lance Polin

Good

Excellent use of language and flow. I don't know if I quite understand what you are talking about without your rather excessive explanation. No one really needs to know all of that and you do not need to justify your writing.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018

Whatever.

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Carol, wow, this is a wonderful tanka, and in my humble view, written almost to perfection. How I wished I had a six for this. It's beautiful. Your third line is maybe not quite a satori, but it's never the less a great pivot line. The more I read the more I feel like writing one myself, as I've already said earlier.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018

I guess it's really not a pivot, oh well. I keep thinking the 'tanka police' are going to jump all over me for these. So far, so good :))

Carol

Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

I lost my best friend two weeks ago. My brother was seventy when he passed away. He was the last of my siblings. We had a big family. Now, there is only me. Your poem helped me.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018

I am so sorry Thomas, and humbled by your words. I am so glad this helped.
Carol