Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Chapter 6: Mouse Hunt"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
10 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I wonder what aspects of Cody threatened the assailant. I like your efforts at comedy relief: " He sniffed the aroma of small Jockey underwear. No brown streaks noted. Obviously, the snow-white briefs belonged to Cody." This is setting the plot up well.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
I wonder what aspects of Cody threatened the assailant. I like your efforts at comedy relief: " He sniffed the aroma of small Jockey underwear. No brown streaks noted. Obviously, the snow-white briefs belonged to Cody." This is setting the plot up well.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Appreciated.
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Well written
Comment from judiverse
Great insight into the Assassin's mind and his way of plotting and planning. He wants to kill the Sheriff and Beth, but especially Cody. He enjoys every moment of his trial run, and proves he can easily get into the house and leave without detection. An orderly life seems especially upsetting to him, as he notices how everything in the Sheriff's home is orderly. There seems to be a lot of envy behind his hatred. He's determined he's going to eliminate those three, and he has especially gruesome things in mind for Cody, with Daniels watching. Great chapter. judi
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
Great insight into the Assassin's mind and his way of plotting and planning. He wants to kill the Sheriff and Beth, but especially Cody. He enjoys every moment of his trial run, and proves he can easily get into the house and leave without detection. An orderly life seems especially upsetting to him, as he notices how everything in the Sheriff's home is orderly. There seems to be a lot of envy behind his hatred. He's determined he's going to eliminate those three, and he has especially gruesome things in mind for Cody, with Daniels watching. Great chapter. judi
Comment Written 21-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from Ricky1024
This was another well written chapter.
It read Well and Flowed well with no grammar issues as well.
Theme and Imagery were both excellent and exceptional.
Adjective Content and Objective Content were both beautiful ly handled while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024 and have a blessed
Day.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
This was another well written chapter.
It read Well and Flowed well with no grammar issues as well.
Theme and Imagery were both excellent and exceptional.
Adjective Content and Objective Content were both beautiful ly handled while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024 and have a blessed
Day.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh no. You'd think the sheriff would keep his home more secure. I do hope this guy is caught soon! Well done as always. Looking forward to the next chapter. Rox
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
Oh no. You'd think the sheriff would keep his home more secure. I do hope this guy is caught soon! Well done as always. Looking forward to the next chapter. Rox
Comment Written 19-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from Sankey
Good descriptive storytelling. the detail on the Assassin's moves and his obsession with Cody's underwear and all that. I am glad I have been through the other version and sort of know where we are going. No spags.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
Good descriptive storytelling. the detail on the Assassin's moves and his obsession with Cody's underwear and all that. I am glad I have been through the other version and sort of know where we are going. No spags.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Brett Matthew West
You know how to make us readers to keep coming back to read another chapter about Cody and the unknown killer and the question, why is he so much infatuated with Cody,
Gert
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
Hello Brett Matthew West
You know how to make us readers to keep coming back to read another chapter about Cody and the unknown killer and the question, why is he so much infatuated with Cody,
Gert
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from country ranch writer
The man is a physo and definable you unbalanced.. Sneaking in undetected gives me the creeps and his fetish for cody's under is not natural.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
The man is a physo and definable you unbalanced.. Sneaking in undetected gives me the creeps and his fetish for cody's under is not natural.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from damommy
That was certainly a chilling chapter. I'll have to go back and catch up. The sheriff doesn't seem to be very observant about his surroundings.
I laughed at my self when I read the piano on the screened-in porch. No one would put a piano outside. The weather would ruin it.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
That was certainly a chilling chapter. I'll have to go back and catch up. The sheriff doesn't seem to be very observant about his surroundings.
I laughed at my self when I read the piano on the screened-in porch. No one would put a piano outside. The weather would ruin it.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Brett, yeah it's well written and seen from the assassin's point of view. I just feel I've read all this before or am I totally wrong? Nevertheless I found no spags. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
Hi Brett, yeah it's well written and seen from the assassin's point of view. I just feel I've read all this before or am I totally wrong? Nevertheless I found no spags. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from fm wright
A very enjoyable and exciting read letting the reader inside the Assassin's head. Obviously well planned out this is a wonderfully written chapter. I could see absolutely no flaws in it.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
A very enjoyable and exciting read letting the reader inside the Assassin's head. Obviously well planned out this is a wonderfully written chapter. I could see absolutely no flaws in it.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2018
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Thanks.
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You're welcome.