Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Letters on a State"Free verse poems
20 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
My analytical brain got the better of me and I wondered if anything would emerge from analysing the results. There are 26 letters on the map, same as in the alphabet but only ten are the initial letters of the names of these girls. So none of that seemed to support anything you are struggling to say here.
I did notice how the language of the poem becomes more poetic as get deeper into it. The first stanza is prosaic, intentially so I imagine then as we delve deeper into the underlying tragedy it pecomes increasingly poetic.
I was left with so many questions. Are these assaults perpetrated by natives or is this another case of a belief in a white supremacy that can take whatever it wants from a race it regards as inferior?
What are the demographics on the map? Are these rural regions of sparse population or crowded urban areas.
This is not a pretty poem but then it is not meant to be and it certainly does not tell a pretty story.
I wondered if there was any future in telling of such brutal violence violence placed in an idyllic setting like that TV film 'Hidden'
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2018
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My analytical brain got the better of me and I wondered if anything would emerge from analysing the results. There are 26 letters on the map, same as in the alphabet but only ten are the initial letters of the names of these girls. So none of that seemed to support anything you are struggling to say here.
I did notice how the language of the poem becomes more poetic as get deeper into it. The first stanza is prosaic, intentially so I imagine then as we delve deeper into the underlying tragedy it pecomes increasingly poetic.
I was left with so many questions. Are these assaults perpetrated by natives or is this another case of a belief in a white supremacy that can take whatever it wants from a race it regards as inferior?
What are the demographics on the map? Are these rural regions of sparse population or crowded urban areas.
This is not a pretty poem but then it is not meant to be and it certainly does not tell a pretty story.
I wondered if there was any future in telling of such brutal violence violence placed in an idyllic setting like that TV film 'Hidden'
Comment Written 12-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2018
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The picture was taken from a video someone had made of the letters piling up on the map. So I wouldn't base your assessment on the snapshot you see here. If you added all the first letters of all the names over the past ten years, you would see much more than what appears in the picture.
In Montana there really are no crowded urban areas, and the reservations tend to be fairly to extremely remote and rural. I am sure the crimes are committed by both natives and "whites". My best friend has cousins who are half Blackfoot Indian, and she remembers being scared of their dad - a huge native guy who was a mean drunk.
The nature around these areas is gorgeous, but the towns are bleak, in my experience. We used to drive straight through the rez and avoid stopping for any reason. Nowadays the towns are not so dangerous.
Carol
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No one race has the monopoly when it comes to crimes against the person. There are rotten apples in every barrel.
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Honestly, that is not true in the United States. I have read many articles that say the percentage of native women who experience violence is much higher than for all other women in this country.
https://www.hcn.org/articles/tribal-affairs-why-native-american-women-still-have-the-highest-rates-of-rape-and-assault
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You mention that drink was involved in one case, do you think there is some truth in the old idea that native Americans cannot hold their drink well? Was Ira Hayes, one of the heroes of Iwo Jima who died dead drunk after the way, a case in point.
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They cannot hold drink well, I think that is proven. It is also true that "fast food" is especially bad for them, and they get very wide in the midsection which is unhealthy. The tribal policing seems to be disorganized, at best, so that the reservations end up being kind of lawless. That's why we were always afraid to stop when driving through.
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That is interesting. So much for the concept of 'the noble savage'. I suppose to try to cram more than two millennia's social development into two hundred years is a bit much to ask. Thanks for your point of view.
Comment from Tina Crute
Wow, this is beautiful riding! It made me feel for women I never even knew about until you wrote about them. I had no idea this was going on. You have honored them so much, and that is so sweet. I really wish I had six stars to give you :-) it's not only writing that produces emotion about something important, it's technically well written and flows so easily through my mind. This is amazing, seriously.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Wow, this is beautiful riding! It made me feel for women I never even knew about until you wrote about them. I had no idea this was going on. You have honored them so much, and that is so sweet. I really wish I had six stars to give you :-) it's not only writing that produces emotion about something important, it's technically well written and flows so easily through my mind. This is amazing, seriously.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much Tina, I feel the same as you that the more I learn about this, the more sad and frustrated I feel that this kind of thing is happening. There must be something we can do to help.. thank you so much Tina, I feel the same as you that the more I learn about this, the more sad and frustrated I feel that this kind of thing is happening. There must be something we can do to help...
Carol
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I think you ARE helping
all you can by making
us aware. Maybe send
your poem to some
womens magazines or
Other media?
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for bringing to our attention specifically for Native American women. Making an effort to show that these women are missed and loved and held precious will make the future better for the young women of tomorrow.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Thank you for bringing to our attention specifically for Native American women. Making an effort to show that these women are missed and loved and held precious will make the future better for the young women of tomorrow.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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I agree that we can help change the future and make it better for women everywhere- we need to stick together and demand justice,
Carol
Comment from Gloria ....
I absolutely love the line she lives now in every woman. It's such a hard life for Indian women and even the braves say their dogs are worth more than some of their women.
Such a sad testimony to the slow genocide of an entire race to hide the white man's greed.
Really good free verse, Carol. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2018
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I absolutely love the line she lives now in every woman. It's such a hard life for Indian women and even the braves say their dogs are worth more than some of their women.
Such a sad testimony to the slow genocide of an entire race to hide the white man's greed.
Really good free verse, Carol. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 12-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2018
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That is so horribly sad what you said about the braves valuing their dogs more than the women! It makes me feel sick inside. Also the genocide by a greedy race of white men (and women).
Thanks, Gloria,
Carol
Comment from meeshu
this is strong and it is right, Carol. not an hour ago my wife and I discussing a similar situation in Alaska. even if caught and the victim is native your sentence will be lenient. shine a light on it is what we have to do. I hope someone hears you...................meeshu
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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this is strong and it is right, Carol. not an hour ago my wife and I discussing a similar situation in Alaska. even if caught and the victim is native your sentence will be lenient. shine a light on it is what we have to do. I hope someone hears you...................meeshu
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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What you said about the Alaskan natives just makes my blood boil, it is wrong that people get away with this. We need to stand up and demand justice. I think I did hear about that man in Alaska but I didn?t realize his victim was native. It kind of makes sense now, and a sickening way.
Carol
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"Now is the time for your tears" Bob Dylan "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll"
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for putting a spotlight on this tragic injustice. Your words paint powerful, vivid images and serve as "incantations" themselves. We can only hope that the 2018 research creates an impetus to find the resources to stop the violence. Endless sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Thank you for putting a spotlight on this tragic injustice. Your words paint powerful, vivid images and serve as "incantations" themselves. We can only hope that the 2018 research creates an impetus to find the resources to stop the violence. Endless sighs- Joan
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Thank you Joanne, I hope that we can find a way to stop this violence. Via like violence against women in general is far too common. Hugs,
Carol
Comment from country ranch writer
The Tribal Government is different and there is to many restrictions put forth to keep them from prosecuting the ones who do bodily harm to the Native Americans.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2018
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The Tribal Government is different and there is to many restrictions put forth to keep them from prosecuting the ones who do bodily harm to the Native Americans.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2018
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You are right, the tribal government and US gov't can't work together to stop this. Do they even want to? It's a sad situation,
Carol
Comment from tfawcus
This is a dreadful state of affairs, and you have found a telling way of illustrating it.
I wondered if you might have missed a word after 'unthinkable' to complete the sentence, and to connect with the start of your second verse?:
"if I put the first letter of her
name on my map,
right where the unthinkable."
Your scraps of information about the women in the second half are most effective in humanising the tragedy.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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This is a dreadful state of affairs, and you have found a telling way of illustrating it.
I wondered if you might have missed a word after 'unthinkable' to complete the sentence, and to connect with the start of your second verse?:
"if I put the first letter of her
name on my map,
right where the unthinkable."
Your scraps of information about the women in the second half are most effective in humanising the tragedy.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Oh crap, I just sent it without meaning to, it wasn't done. Check it again and see if it's better!
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That makes very much more sense!
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Thanks for looking again! I hate it when I do that!
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
A heartfelt and emotional poem.
The statistics behind the message is astounding and this reflects throughout this hard hitting piece....and what a strong way to end....how she much should never be invisible ....perfect
Mitchell
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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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A heartfelt and emotional poem.
The statistics behind the message is astounding and this reflects throughout this hard hitting piece....and what a strong way to end....how she much should never be invisible ....perfect
Mitchell
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Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Thank you very much,
Carol
Comment from heart of Lou
I honestly don't get why native women are treated any differently than any other women on earth. What makes men believe that their lives are not worthy of respect and love? It's a crazy world.
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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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I honestly don't get why native women are treated any differently than any other women on earth. What makes men believe that their lives are not worthy of respect and love? It's a crazy world.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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I think part of it is being on the reservation, where the laws are different and the jurisdictional differences mean that the laws aren't enforced there the way they are elsewhere? I don't know :((
Thank you for reading my poem,
Carol
