The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Safe Haven"A Novel
30 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
What chance indeed. Lol.
I really enjoy your ability to find a mix of action, humour and mystery in each chapter and carry it seamlessly to the next.
Quite an entertaining and intriguing chapter.
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
  |
What chance indeed. Lol.
I really enjoy your ability to find a mix of action, humour and mystery in each chapter and carry it seamlessly to the next.
Quite an entertaining and intriguing chapter.
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 18-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
-
So glad you?re enjoying the balance between action and humour.
Comment from Gloria ....
Ha, all of her eight limbs? That is terrific writing there as I get the idea of someone really getting their hackles up.
Ha love the old Mae West joke too, I suppose Madeleine deserved it though and we shall never escape Batman which is a good thing.
Excellent understated sarcasm and wit throughout Tony. this is a great tale.
Gloria
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
|
Ha, all of her eight limbs? That is terrific writing there as I get the idea of someone really getting their hackles up.
Ha love the old Mae West joke too, I suppose Madeleine deserved it though and we shall never escape Batman which is a good thing.
Excellent understated sarcasm and wit throughout Tony. this is a great tale.
Gloria
Comment Written 14-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2018
-
Glad you are still enjoying this, Gloria. The 'eight limbs' referred back to her Muay Thai training (the art of the eight limbs). Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
An excellent addition to the book that moves the plot along nicely.
The landlady adds a needed light, humorous touch
The old joke about the gun in the pocket is a bit over used
but that's the author's choice. lol
Some good decoys placed, like the honeymoon
I noted a suspicious sealed envelope surreptitiously mentioned
I wonder what is in it?
Next, off to England we go.
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
|
Hello Tony,
An excellent addition to the book that moves the plot along nicely.
The landlady adds a needed light, humorous touch
The old joke about the gun in the pocket is a bit over used
but that's the author's choice. lol
Some good decoys placed, like the honeymoon
I noted a suspicious sealed envelope surreptitiously mentioned
I wonder what is in it?
Next, off to England we go.
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
-
Thanks, Robert. Glad you noticed the sealed envelope - it may come in handy later the the story to have another small mystery tucked away! As you will discover in the next episode, plans for an escape to England do not run quite as expected. Such is life.
All the best, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good image for this chapter, Tony.
-You also present a few mysteries:
-Jeanne seems like a character who
is here one minute, and disappears the next.
-We know she seems to have an interest
in the journal, and ironically, Charles has
it but lies to her, and said they didn't find it.
-It is obvious he either doesn't care for her
or doesn't trust her, or both.
-But all three are going to England.
-I am sure that will add more mystery
and raise more questions.
-I find it interesting that Alain and the
envelope are mentioned, but we
haven't heard about that in a while.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
|
-A good image for this chapter, Tony.
-You also present a few mysteries:
-Jeanne seems like a character who
is here one minute, and disappears the next.
-We know she seems to have an interest
in the journal, and ironically, Charles has
it but lies to her, and said they didn't find it.
-It is obvious he either doesn't care for her
or doesn't trust her, or both.
-But all three are going to England.
-I am sure that will add more mystery
and raise more questions.
-I find it interesting that Alain and the
envelope are mentioned, but we
haven't heard about that in a while.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
-
Thanks, Pam. You have hit on one of the difficulties that I am facing at the moment - that of keeping two parallel sub-plots running simultaneously. It is hard to progress one without leaving the other one behind. Perhaps the disconnect appears to be worse than it really is, with the story dribbling out at 2,000 to 3,000 words a week. If not, then I guess I'm in for a radical rewrite when it comes time for the final edit! LOL
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a well written and interesting chapter to your story, Tony. I liked the humorous back and forth with the landlady. All dialogue was smooth and clear. I was familiar with all the terms in your glossary but not Helen flexing all of " her eight limbs," which I'm assuming is a reference to octopus. Short last paragraph brought a smile. Marilyn
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
|
This is a well written and interesting chapter to your story, Tony. I liked the humorous back and forth with the landlady. All dialogue was smooth and clear. I was familiar with all the terms in your glossary but not Helen flexing all of " her eight limbs," which I'm assuming is a reference to octopus. Short last paragraph brought a smile. Marilyn
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
-
Thanks, Marilyn. A couple of chapters earlier, there was a reference to Helen learning Muay Thai in Bangkok, a martial art sometimes referred to as the art of the eight limbs. Hence Charles?s comment.
-
Hi Tony. That's right. I remember reading that. Thank you for refreshing my memory. Marilyn
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Charles is stepping on dangerous ground in the initial chapters.
A good pull out of that old line, to Helen's landlady.Charles has really taken charge of the situation in this chapter, I wonder how long the ladies will let him get away with that LOL Great chapter Tony, well written, enjoyable.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
 |
Charles is stepping on dangerous ground in the initial chapters.
A good pull out of that old line, to Helen's landlady.Charles has really taken charge of the situation in this chapter, I wonder how long the ladies will let him get away with that LOL Great chapter Tony, well written, enjoyable.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
-
Cheers, Valda. The poor man has to begin to assert himself - he's outnumbered! However, as you suggest, it may be a losing battle. Thanks so much for the sixth star. It means a lot to know that my nonsense is hitting the right spot with at least some people! LOL
Comment from etreefrog
You have maintained the tone and spirit of your previous chapter in you light-hearted thriller. I particularly liked the word interplay you create between "powder her nose' and "that nose you did your best to put out of joint". and also "I have a sixth sense" followed by "sometimes I think you have no sense". I find these delightful.
In the interests of helping you polish, I will make a couple of observations:
*Helen's comment: "No need to blow a gasket", seemed masculine and maybe American, though I can't be certain.
*When "Helen flexed all of her eight limbs" I felt left out of the joke--- was this a carryover reference to something from a previous chapter? If not, it just seems like too odd a descriptor, though I can see your attraction to saying it.
*Madeleine "fumbled around with the safety chain" when she only needs to fumble with it.
*She asks "is that a gun in his pocket?" which leads to comedy but seems cute but contrived.
*The lady in the box sequence: "I said left, you idiot". This also leads to levity, but again, seems extremely odd if you are trying to maintain ANY sense of danger, maintain ANY thrill, in this light-hearted thriller.
I hope you believe that I do find the main characters likable, and only worry that the tension is dissipated faster than you can create it. You do a great job with dialogue, showing, instead of telling, which is not easy. You seem to have a good bead on where you are headed and everything seems very consistent in this chapter. I enjoyed the read and will look forward to the next installment. Thanks! Erik
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
|
You have maintained the tone and spirit of your previous chapter in you light-hearted thriller. I particularly liked the word interplay you create between "powder her nose' and "that nose you did your best to put out of joint". and also "I have a sixth sense" followed by "sometimes I think you have no sense". I find these delightful.
In the interests of helping you polish, I will make a couple of observations:
*Helen's comment: "No need to blow a gasket", seemed masculine and maybe American, though I can't be certain.
*When "Helen flexed all of her eight limbs" I felt left out of the joke--- was this a carryover reference to something from a previous chapter? If not, it just seems like too odd a descriptor, though I can see your attraction to saying it.
*Madeleine "fumbled around with the safety chain" when she only needs to fumble with it.
*She asks "is that a gun in his pocket?" which leads to comedy but seems cute but contrived.
*The lady in the box sequence: "I said left, you idiot". This also leads to levity, but again, seems extremely odd if you are trying to maintain ANY sense of danger, maintain ANY thrill, in this light-hearted thriller.
I hope you believe that I do find the main characters likable, and only worry that the tension is dissipated faster than you can create it. You do a great job with dialogue, showing, instead of telling, which is not easy. You seem to have a good bead on where you are headed and everything seems very consistent in this chapter. I enjoyed the read and will look forward to the next installment. Thanks! Erik
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
-
Thanks, Erik. I agree that 'fumbled around' is unnecessary , and will change that.
I don't know if to 'blow a gasket' is an American cliche or just a British one. I hadn't thought of it, but it probably is too masculine a comment to be put in the mouth of a fair lady - even in these days of rising gender equality. I'll see if I can find something less mechanical and perhaps more waspish for her tender lips!
Yes, I'm being fairly silly with the situational responses - it is becoming more of a comedy than a drama. I may end up with some of the more trite scenes on the cutting room floor. Perhaps I have watched too much Monty Python.
The reference to 'all of her eight limbs' comes from two chapters earlier, when we learn that Helen trained in Muay Thai, 'the art of the eight limbs' while she was living in Bangkok. It's possible, after all, that she might be familiar with gaskets! Of course, one needs to remember that even HM The Queen drove a truck during the war.
I appreciate your advice, and attempts to keep me in line, and within the genre. You are doing me a real service in that respect. Thank you.
-
I may have already sent you a similar reply to the one you are reading this moment, but I can't be certain! My newness is showing! I appreciate your openness to my tentative comments. I just posted a short poem called This Business of Heroes if you have half a minute (86 words). Thanks! Erik
Comment from country ranch writer
here we go again off on another adventure but still able to hang onto the journal for now anyway so now what lies ahead is a mystery.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
|
here we go again off on another adventure but still able to hang onto the journal for now anyway so now what lies ahead is a mystery.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
-
Very many thanks for continuing to take interest in this.Much appreciated! Tony
-
Smiles
Comment from estory
Lively conversation, especially with the land lady, who seems to have plenty of Gallic preoccupation with sex on her mind, keeps this moving along. I think you did a good job of painting the portrait of the land lady's personality and character through her dialogue. Jeanne seems to be coming along for the ride to England, with that mysterious journal. When will the mob strike next? estory
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
|
Lively conversation, especially with the land lady, who seems to have plenty of Gallic preoccupation with sex on her mind, keeps this moving along. I think you did a good job of painting the portrait of the land lady's personality and character through her dialogue. Jeanne seems to be coming along for the ride to England, with that mysterious journal. When will the mob strike next? estory
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
-
Very many thanks for continuing to take interest in this. Much appreciated! Thanks, too, for your comments about the characterisation of Helen's landlady. Tony
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Tony,
The plot thickens. I wonder why Jeanne is so keen on having the journal with the travelers. I'm sure there is something hidden there, but for now, I'm still chuckling about the meeting with the landlady. (Seriously, she lifted her ample bosom?)
Great writing, and I look forward to more,
~MP~
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
|
Hi, Tony,
The plot thickens. I wonder why Jeanne is so keen on having the journal with the travelers. I'm sure there is something hidden there, but for now, I'm still chuckling about the meeting with the landlady. (Seriously, she lifted her ample bosom?)
Great writing, and I look forward to more,
~MP~
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
-
Glad you got a kick out of Mme Bisset! I had fun creating her. All the best, Tony
