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OMG I wrote a poetry book

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Happy Happy Happy"
A collection of award winning poems

46 total reviews 
Comment from susand3022
Good
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Hi Earl, This is a really fun poem! I love how you talked about all of my likes and dislikes... how did you know?? Are you a shapeshifter? Have you been a fly on my wall?? LOL, The only problem I found was with the last stanza. You changed the rhyme and the meter was off. Other than that stanza the poem flowed well and the rhyme was spot on.

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 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    Thanks for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Rob Caudle
Excellent
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Could not agree more as I set here in the chilly high desert of Oregon it is 27 degrees. I live for sunny warm weather it makes me happy as did your work well done it doesn't feel nearly as cold anymore.

Rob


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    I'm glad I was able to spread some sunshine into your life. Thanks for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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Some intriguing rhymes one doesn't see too frequently here. I liked the near rhyme opf Canada/Florida and the unusual full rhyme of greater/equator. I was waiting for a verse on sleet but ... oh well I'm still waiting.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    I'm white as a sheet
    When I walk through sleet
    There you go.
    Thanks for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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I'm with you on this one! I hate the cold, the rain, the snow, the frost. I love the warmth of the sun. This is a lovely 'sunny' poem, lol, and an excellent contest entry. Well done and good luck! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    Thank you Sandra, this was pretty easy to write. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
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If you are happy and you know it clap your hands as the song goes. Sun is better than the rain and snow that's why I live in the South.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    Clap Clap Clap. The sun is shing here in wextern PA today. Thanks for reading and reviewing my work.
reply by country ranch writer on 12-Dec-2018
    smiles
Comment from CD Richards
Excellent
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Well, I won't let the fact that we have opposite views on what constitutes good weather affect my evaluation of this poem. I love the rain, not so much the heat.

You do a good job of clueing readers in concerning what makes you happy, and the poem itself has a happy feel. Interesting choice to alter the rhyme scheme in the last stanza. This is not a criticism, just an observation.

Nice work, good luck in the contest.

Craig

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    Thanks Craig, i'm not really a poet so I don't know about rhyme schemes I jusy let it fly. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from WryWriter
Excellent
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Good quatrains with AABB rhyming scheme. The flow was also done well, but parts of stanzas caught me e.g. the word "dislike" so I gave a suggestion to get rid of that 2 syllable that hung me, and other lines just to see how it would change the flow. (Of course, only the author knows how they want this to flow. I'm sure it won't hang everyone who reads it, but I had some fun with it.)

I cannot explain
Why I hate rain
And you know
I also dislike snow [That includes snow (or) That goes for snow]

If you don't want me unhappy
Bring the sun back
And make it snappy
The sun will make me happy Jack (I'll be happy Jack)

Also, since "You know" is in the previous stanza, I would omit it here:
You know I get rowdy (I get rowdy)

You can keep Canada
I'll go to Florida
What would be greater (It would be greater)
Is to get closer to the equator (Closer to the equator)

The artwork you chose fits this theme perfectly. I love the title! This was an enjoyable read!

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    I appreciate you taking the time to give me some pointers to make my poem better. Thank you for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from meeshu
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading this work, you have created some great images and your rhymes are a lot of fun. there will be trouble when Poet #1 finds out about this. heheh

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    Thanks meeshu, i thought you were poet #1. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from McMurry903
Excellent
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Great fun and sunny imagery. I live in the South we get lots of Sun and heat but even here it's been pretty cold lately so this was refreshing.
Excellent use of rhyme!
Strong contest entry and I wish you the best!
-Brian

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    Thank you Brian. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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There was a TV jingle about Happy Jack The Cookie Man...but if you'd be taken seriously, rewrite that last verse. But as lighthearted outburst, will do nicely.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2018
    Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.