Be Wee With Bea
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Crunching Sounds"An allegory in the Winnie the Pooh genre
9 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Liz. Another wonderful chapter of Bea climbing the tree even when she wasn't sure how to do it. I like her rules, 1-5. Well described, thoughtful, interesting. Marilyn
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Hi Liz. Another wonderful chapter of Bea climbing the tree even when she wasn't sure how to do it. I like her rules, 1-5. Well described, thoughtful, interesting. Marilyn
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Thank you for going back to my chapters. I appreciate your review, your interest, and your enthusiasm.
Comment from Six-Star Writer
Sorry, it's taken so long to read your work. I'm a very slow reader. Coupled with my lack of time to read much more than poetry, and a few pages in a novel I've been reading in order to stay abreast of current published literary trends, this causes me little time for reading long works here. Also, my main FanStory focus is poetry. Simply dig it more and more nowadays. All this being stated, Crunching Sounds spoke to me, all the lessons, that is. They're curtailed to me. I guess I'm a child who never grew up and who was never socialized correctly. I also I have suffered so much abuse in my life that my self-esteem is virtually non-existent. But I believe I have two things going for me: I'm an excellent writer (regardless what the self-proclaimed know-it-alls think), and I'm very handsome. Oh, and I'm relatively intelligent, loyal, trustworthy, and a bunch of other boyscout traits. Thanks for sharing Crunching Sounds.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2019
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Sorry, it's taken so long to read your work. I'm a very slow reader. Coupled with my lack of time to read much more than poetry, and a few pages in a novel I've been reading in order to stay abreast of current published literary trends, this causes me little time for reading long works here. Also, my main FanStory focus is poetry. Simply dig it more and more nowadays. All this being stated, Crunching Sounds spoke to me, all the lessons, that is. They're curtailed to me. I guess I'm a child who never grew up and who was never socialized correctly. I also I have suffered so much abuse in my life that my self-esteem is virtually non-existent. But I believe I have two things going for me: I'm an excellent writer (regardless what the self-proclaimed know-it-alls think), and I'm very handsome. Oh, and I'm relatively intelligent, loyal, trustworthy, and a bunch of other boyscout traits. Thanks for sharing Crunching Sounds.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2019
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Thank you for taking your time to be able to read my chapter. I don't know if I told you not this story is about me. I'm the bear. Thank you for your thorough review and the 6 stars.
Comment from Teresa Alford
Sounds like a fun story. I like that there is information in the story that one can learn by reading it.
Here's some suggestions:
In the third paragraph, the last sentence is incomplete.
Fourth paragraph, the second sentence seems out of context. In this same paragraph, there is no segue for Timothy when he is said to be please and proud...
In the lessons learned, you might consider making #3 two sentences. #5 is awkward.
In general, some of your sentence are rather long. If the story is geared to young readers, consider making shorter, precise sentences. Short and precise sentences makes for a smoother read, no matter the age of the reader.
You are doing a good job. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2018
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Sounds like a fun story. I like that there is information in the story that one can learn by reading it.
Here's some suggestions:
In the third paragraph, the last sentence is incomplete.
Fourth paragraph, the second sentence seems out of context. In this same paragraph, there is no segue for Timothy when he is said to be please and proud...
In the lessons learned, you might consider making #3 two sentences. #5 is awkward.
In general, some of your sentence are rather long. If the story is geared to young readers, consider making shorter, precise sentences. Short and precise sentences makes for a smoother read, no matter the age of the reader.
You are doing a good job. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2018
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I'm so glad you enjoyed my story. Also thank you for the comprehensive review. I have copied your suggestions & will fix things up.
Comment from AdaJulie
Ohhhh I love this! I read it twice. This is wonderful, reading it is a joy. The words are selected well create a scene that is a joy to follow and have a great message. Very good talent displayed here. Looking forward to more!
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2018
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Ohhhh I love this! I read it twice. This is wonderful, reading it is a joy. The words are selected well create a scene that is a joy to follow and have a great message. Very good talent displayed here. Looking forward to more!
Comment Written 28-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2018
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I am so pleased with your enthusiastic review. If you go to my portfolio and read Chap 1,3 & 7 you will get a sense of the meaning of this book and how healing it is. I am also including your name on my list of works to frequently visit.
Comment from Beck Fenton
I love the way this story is going. You've adjusted to the critiques about capitalization and it works so well this way. You have a great career ahead of you (and Bea).
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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I love the way this story is going. You've adjusted to the critiques about capitalization and it works so well this way. You have a great career ahead of you (and Bea).
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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Wow Thank you so much dear friend. Yes, I've taken different reviewers word into consideration. You are a great help too. I think my 2nd one will be much better. And thank you for the supportive review here. Especially the 6 stars
Comment from Tootsie55
I briefly looked at this and I am interested to follow you more. I promise I will come back for more. You recently did a review for Louise *(my wife) on Tootsie 55's Our Trip book. I look forward to following this story more in then future.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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I briefly looked at this and I am interested to follow you more. I promise I will come back for more. You recently did a review for Louise *(my wife) on Tootsie 55's Our Trip book. I look forward to following this story more in then future.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thank you for your supportive review. I will write your name down on my list of works I frequently visit. So you will see me again also.
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Great. Trying to get as many folks to see Louise's Trip Book I think I told you I put her account on for another year.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, what a wonderful little chapter about 'biting off more than we can chew' but then overcoming our self-imposed predicament through sheer determination!! :) :) A fun write, Liz -- you know I do so enjoy the group of friends! ;) :) And, you're so right, the pic of the goat is perfect! ;) :) I've included below some grammatical catches - employ or ignore as you like, ma'am! :) :) As always, thank you so much for sharing all of the wonderful little friends! ;) :) Yvette :)
"the talented thought her idea" -- 'the talented beaver thought her idea'
"canals, and best of all to be able" -- 'canals and, best of all, to be able'
"start; but with" -- 'start, but, with'
"Then quickly" -- 'Then, she quickly'
"Timothy; even" -- 'Timothy, even'
"Many claw marks up." [not a full sentence...?]
"means; that's all" -- 'means, that's all'
"yourself, before" -- 'yourself before'
"all, for a while" -- 'all for a while'
"that when you" -- 'that, when you'
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2018
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Oh, what a wonderful little chapter about 'biting off more than we can chew' but then overcoming our self-imposed predicament through sheer determination!! :) :) A fun write, Liz -- you know I do so enjoy the group of friends! ;) :) And, you're so right, the pic of the goat is perfect! ;) :) I've included below some grammatical catches - employ or ignore as you like, ma'am! :) :) As always, thank you so much for sharing all of the wonderful little friends! ;) :) Yvette :)
"the talented thought her idea" -- 'the talented beaver thought her idea'
"canals, and best of all to be able" -- 'canals and, best of all, to be able'
"start; but with" -- 'start, but, with'
"Then quickly" -- 'Then, she quickly'
"Timothy; even" -- 'Timothy, even'
"Many claw marks up." [not a full sentence...?]
"means; that's all" -- 'means, that's all'
"yourself, before" -- 'yourself before'
"all, for a while" -- 'all for a while'
"that when you" -- 'that, when you'
Comment Written 18-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2018
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Yvette, thank you so much for your supportive review. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. I also thank you for the suggested improvements. I will edit immediately.
Comment from LaRosa
Isn't it true that sometimes hindsight is so much better than foresight? It's cool that children reading about Bea, Timothy, and their friends can discover the importance of thinking things out before hand in such a non-preachy way. It's nice that you always point the reader toward the Maker!
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2018
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Isn't it true that sometimes hindsight is so much better than foresight? It's cool that children reading about Bea, Timothy, and their friends can discover the importance of thinking things out before hand in such a non-preachy way. It's nice that you always point the reader toward the Maker!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2018
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Thank you for the very affirming review. I especially like that you noticed the non-preachy tone. I hope I never have that tone. It is one of the most disliked traits in some people's speech pattern and attitudes. Thank you again.
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Agreed. And, you're so welcome!
Comment from country ranch writer
The Bea is a wise one and learning is a part of the growing process for one and all we all have our ups and downs in life. We all learn as we go along.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2018
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The Bea is a wise one and learning is a part of the growing process for one and all we all have our ups and downs in life. We all learn as we go along.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2018
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Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad you see the value of the growth here.
