The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "A Night at Rue Gabrielle "A Novel
25 total reviews
Comment from apky
Another chapter full of twists and turns as it races ahead across the page. I'm really getting to like your narrative and writing style - both are excellent.
I noticed that there are two spellings of Bukhari (the first up the page) and Bukhara farther down the page. I wondered if that's a typo or are these two different people?
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2018
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Another chapter full of twists and turns as it races ahead across the page. I'm really getting to like your narrative and writing style - both are excellent.
I noticed that there are two spellings of Bukhari (the first up the page) and Bukhara farther down the page. I wondered if that's a typo or are these two different people?
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2018
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Very many thanks for your kind review apky, and for the catch. Appreciated. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Mastery
Hello, Robert. It was a pleasure to read your chapter from the book as it always is:
Your imagery is superb, like:
"I could smell coffee simmering on the stove. Sun streamed through the window onto a neatly laid breakfast table, and a tempting aroma of fresh croissants lingered in the air."
And your dialogue is natural-sounding, my friend.
Suggestions: I found this part a little bumpy as is: "I'm under contract at the Moulin Rouge for another two weeks," then she added vaguely, "and I've other commitments in Paris after that."
Try." I'm under contract at the Moulin Rouge for another two weeks," then as an aside, she added, " I've got other commitments in Paris after that.
And: "Helen's face fell" (Doesn't sound right, I'm afraid. How about . . . "Helen looked disappointed."
Good job, Robert Merry Christmas to you and yours. Bob
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2018
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Hello, Robert. It was a pleasure to read your chapter from the book as it always is:
Your imagery is superb, like:
"I could smell coffee simmering on the stove. Sun streamed through the window onto a neatly laid breakfast table, and a tempting aroma of fresh croissants lingered in the air."
And your dialogue is natural-sounding, my friend.
Suggestions: I found this part a little bumpy as is: "I'm under contract at the Moulin Rouge for another two weeks," then she added vaguely, "and I've other commitments in Paris after that."
Try." I'm under contract at the Moulin Rouge for another two weeks," then as an aside, she added, " I've got other commitments in Paris after that.
And: "Helen's face fell" (Doesn't sound right, I'm afraid. How about . . . "Helen looked disappointed."
Good job, Robert Merry Christmas to you and yours. Bob
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2018
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Many thanks for your review, Bob, and for your kind comments and constructive criticism. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from royowen
So Madame Jeanne is not what she seems, according to Kayla, Helen wants to stay in Paris with Kayla, but Kayla rebukes her remarks, says she commitments with the Moulin Rouge for two weeks, and then beyond that other ones, including with scaramouch. To go with Charles is the best way, they don't have deal wiith the Mafia after all. A great episode Tony, blessjngs, Roy
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2018
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So Madame Jeanne is not what she seems, according to Kayla, Helen wants to stay in Paris with Kayla, but Kayla rebukes her remarks, says she commitments with the Moulin Rouge for two weeks, and then beyond that other ones, including with scaramouch. To go with Charles is the best way, they don't have deal wiith the Mafia after all. A great episode Tony, blessjngs, Roy
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2018
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Many thanks for your review, Roy, and for your summary and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
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Most welcome Tony
Comment from estory
So Jeanne is in with the drug cartels. The plot thickens. Lots of intricate dialogue spin a web of all kinds of suspicions and entanglements. It is a colorful tale but the action is suffering a bit. The dream sequence was very interesting, we have all these characters bared into the forces they represent, for good and bad, and they swirl around menacingly. Then at the end you had that travel writer's touch as he notices the smell of gourmet coffee and croissants. This could use another shot of adrennalin about now. estory
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2018
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So Jeanne is in with the drug cartels. The plot thickens. Lots of intricate dialogue spin a web of all kinds of suspicions and entanglements. It is a colorful tale but the action is suffering a bit. The dream sequence was very interesting, we have all these characters bared into the forces they represent, for good and bad, and they swirl around menacingly. Then at the end you had that travel writer's touch as he notices the smell of gourmet coffee and croissants. This could use another shot of adrennalin about now. estory
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2018
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Many thanks for your review, estory, and for your summary and comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from c_lucas
Your main character may be in over his head. Plus, you have a long list of characters to keep in line. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2018
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Your main character may be in over his head. Plus, you have a long list of characters to keep in line. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2018
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Many thanks for your review, Charlie, and for your kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
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You're welcome, Tony. Charlie
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. It seems that there are more secrets about Jeanne than that is aleady revealed about her. The two sisters seem happy to have some time together again.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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A very well-written chapter. It seems that there are more secrets about Jeanne than that is aleady revealed about her. The two sisters seem happy to have some time together again.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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Thanks for your review, Sandra. Much appreciated. Best wishes for 2019. Tony.
Comment from Pantygynt
Curiouser and curiouser as Alice would say. This is indeed a strange tale. I have to admit to losing the thread somewhat and yet I still enjoy this adventurous tale and would love to read it in a single volume one day when you eventually get around to publishing after giving an editor ar tough task.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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Curiouser and curiouser as Alice would say. This is indeed a strange tale. I have to admit to losing the thread somewhat and yet I still enjoy this adventurous tale and would love to read it in a single volume one day when you eventually get around to publishing after giving an editor ar tough task.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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Thanks for your review, Jim. Much appreciated. Best wishes for 2019. Tony.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
What a tease having Charles go to bed before Kayla finishes her story. Great chapter Tony Just one thing I wondered, would it be? - flung into a picture that hang - (hung) in the shadows
cheers and Merry Christmas to you and your family,
valda
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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What a tease having Charles go to bed before Kayla finishes her story. Great chapter Tony Just one thing I wondered, would it be? - flung into a picture that hang - (hung) in the shadows
cheers and Merry Christmas to you and your family,
valda
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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Thanks for your review, Valda. Much appreciated. Best wishes for 2019. Tony.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Sorry no sixes left, this was a very revealing chapter. Helen is very stubborn when it comes to Jeanne, but Charles has had his suspicions for ages. It's always best to trust your instincts. That was some nightmare! Kayla is obviously interested in Charles and he realises it wouldn't take much for his interest to perk up too. LOL, Well done, my friend, another excellent part. Have a wonderful Christmas, and a successful and happy 2019! Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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Sorry no sixes left, this was a very revealing chapter. Helen is very stubborn when it comes to Jeanne, but Charles has had his suspicions for ages. It's always best to trust your instincts. That was some nightmare! Kayla is obviously interested in Charles and he realises it wouldn't take much for his interest to perk up too. LOL, Well done, my friend, another excellent part. Have a wonderful Christmas, and a successful and happy 2019! Sandra xxx
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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Thanks for your review, Sandra. Much appreciated. Best wishes for 2019. Tony.
Comment from damommy
Well, now we know what we knew all along. Madame Jeanne is an evil woman. The sooner they get away from her, the better. If Charles is drawn to Kayla, it's best he goes to England. What a nightmare scene. Very vivid descriptions.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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Well, now we know what we knew all along. Madame Jeanne is an evil woman. The sooner they get away from her, the better. If Charles is drawn to Kayla, it's best he goes to England. What a nightmare scene. Very vivid descriptions.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2018
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Thanks for your review, Yvonne,and for the sixth star. Much appreciated. Best wishes for 2019. Tony.
