The Enthusiastic Samaritan
100-word story10 total reviews
Comment from ioana.u
Haha! Well, that wasn`t so bad for her image. She could have done more than ask him something, like get on top of him and start the freshly acquired procedures:))
Great job fitting it into 100 words!
Ioana
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Haha! Well, that wasn`t so bad for her image. She could have done more than ask him something, like get on top of him and start the freshly acquired procedures:))
Great job fitting it into 100 words!
Ioana
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Haha! back at you... that was a funny image. I'm glad she stopped when she did too... phooey on 100 words, could have been interesting! Thanks for your review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Poor Janie, how embarrassing.
Hopefully the guy's plumber's crack wasn't on display.
That would have made mouth-to-mouth resuscitation a rather difficult prospect.
Good story.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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Poor Janie, how embarrassing.
Hopefully the guy's plumber's crack wasn't on display.
That would have made mouth-to-mouth resuscitation a rather difficult prospect.
Good story.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
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Haha.. funny you should mention his crack... I was impressed by the huge fissure in my builder's butt today when he bent down. Luckily the guy on the pavement was wearing overalls.
Thanks for the review!
Comment from BWReal
If I'm ever in need of a Samaritan, I want him or her to be just like Jane.
Witty and comedic writing at its best...with just the right timing and pluck.
Good stuff!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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If I'm ever in need of a Samaritan, I want him or her to be just like Jane.
Witty and comedic writing at its best...with just the right timing and pluck.
Good stuff!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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What a lovely review. Thank you so much.
Comment from victor 66
I think this is an awfully good entry, and considering it's your first makes it that much better. I wish you luck in the contest and success in the days to come on the Fan Story Web site.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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I think this is an awfully good entry, and considering it's your first makes it that much better. I wish you luck in the contest and success in the days to come on the Fan Story Web site.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much for your kind review (I'm glad you didn't stop at 'awful')!!
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You are most welcome. But, you're glad I "didn't stop at awful"? Obviously you haven't read any of my entries. Looking forward to your next entry.
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What I meant was that when you wrote your review, the first words I read quickly were "I think this is awful"... but you had actually written "awfully good", so I am pleased you continued after the word "awful".
Your comment back to me has prompted me now to go visit your portfolio and see what else you have written.
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Hi again Victor, I've read some of your poems... yes you do get into some interesting territory!!
By the way, "spelunking" is one of my favourite words, what a coincidence to see that you have used it. Stoopid girl in a bikini, she sure got punished.
I admire how you have entered contests with different guidelines, syllables, number of words etc. I will try to do that too as it is such a good way to learn blah blah blah discipline.
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, The Enthusiastic Samaritan, meets the word requirement and finds the student ready even when the patient isn't. Funny.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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This one-hundred-word story, The Enthusiastic Samaritan, meets the word requirement and finds the student ready even when the patient isn't. Funny.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Thanks for your review Bill.
Comment from write hand blue
Hi mystery writer. An unusual story of a person making the wrong decision and thinking that a person is incapacitated. Only to find that he is working.
Written in a clear way that's easy to read. Good luck with this. Mel.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Hi mystery writer. An unusual story of a person making the wrong decision and thinking that a person is incapacitated. Only to find that he is working.
Written in a clear way that's easy to read. Good luck with this. Mel.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Many thanks for your great review and good wishes. I appreciate that.
Comment from GregoryCody
I think you're right about the word count. This is really good. I'm giving it a six because it's concise and tells a story in so few words. Great stuff.
In terms of editing try to steer away from adverbs. Like quickly parking her car.
Other than that great job!!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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I think you're right about the word count. This is really good. I'm giving it a six because it's concise and tells a story in so few words. Great stuff.
In terms of editing try to steer away from adverbs. Like quickly parking her car.
Other than that great job!!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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Oh wow, thanks so much Gregory.
I see what you mean about the adverb 'quickly' in that sentence... it doesn't need it, does it, because she is rushing anyway.
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Yeah. There is a really good editor here named Rama Davi. She beats me down on those haha. But typically they're not needed, or there's a better way to put it.
You could simply take out quickly and put a word somewhere else. Or change a word.
Parking her car haphazardly...
Something like that. Honestly the way you have it works completely. It's just when you only have 100 words, you have to make each one count.
Just a thought!
Comment from Miss Sherry
Why are spaces counted as words when there aren't any words? Defies logic. I counted 100 words... Anyway, it is a humorous story that gave me a laugh. Very clever!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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Why are spaces counted as words when there aren't any words? Defies logic. I counted 100 words... Anyway, it is a humorous story that gave me a laugh. Very clever!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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I'm glad you found it an entertaining story. Thanks for reviewing it.
Comment from RodG
I enjoyed Janie the Good Samaritan's embarrassing first experience with a potential victim. She's had training and we admire her initiative. A wonderful twist at the end had me chuckling.
I have had the same problem with word counts in such contests. If you counted each word manually, the Contest Review Committee will probably take your word (or count them themselves). I doubt you will be disqualified. Rod
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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I enjoyed Janie the Good Samaritan's embarrassing first experience with a potential victim. She's had training and we admire her initiative. A wonderful twist at the end had me chuckling.
I have had the same problem with word counts in such contests. If you counted each word manually, the Contest Review Committee will probably take your word (or count them themselves). I doubt you will be disqualified. Rod
Comment Written 20-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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I like how you called the patient a "victim". Thanks for your review and for reassuring me about the pesky word count.
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My pleasure. Rod
Comment from Donka Kristeva
A brief Flash Fiction--in action. I like how you did not waste words but accurately and clearly described a first hand assistance in accident. Good job.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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A brief Flash Fiction--in action. I like how you did not waste words but accurately and clearly described a first hand assistance in accident. Good job.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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Thanks for your supportive review. It is certainly a great way to learn how to ditch unnecessary words.
