Life
A contest entry25 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Interesting philosophical poem! Life can be viewed as a finite segment of time and yet, with our eternal souls, it could be a never-ending circle. It's hard to have that eternal perspective from a time-constricted world.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2021
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Interesting philosophical poem! Life can be viewed as a finite segment of time and yet, with our eternal souls, it could be a never-ending circle. It's hard to have that eternal perspective from a time-constricted world.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much Helen for reading and reviewing. I loved your comments, shhhh that's just how the old brain works once in a while, hugs.
Comment from rama devi
I believe it is a never-ending circle because I believe in reincarnation and past lives. This is a good question-poem. The voicing is such that it would be more helpful to the reader if all lines were not capped. Additionally, a line break between questions might give a health breath--pause effect. Also, the last line sounds forced grammatically, just a bit. I understand it's due to the syllable limitation, but maybe play around with it a bit.
Example with all above advice (just to illustrate the options for you):
When,
I ask,
does life end?
Or when
does it begin?
Is the circle never ending?
The last line sounds less cliche, too, with a different voicing. Still, never-ending circle is cliche so maybe find a synonymous alternative? For example, you could approach it from the positive side...instead of never-ending, maybe say always turning, or continuous, or something akin to that.
Just throwing out some thoughts for your consideration.
Fine work, either way, and fine presentation.
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2019
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I believe it is a never-ending circle because I believe in reincarnation and past lives. This is a good question-poem. The voicing is such that it would be more helpful to the reader if all lines were not capped. Additionally, a line break between questions might give a health breath--pause effect. Also, the last line sounds forced grammatically, just a bit. I understand it's due to the syllable limitation, but maybe play around with it a bit.
Example with all above advice (just to illustrate the options for you):
When,
I ask,
does life end?
Or when
does it begin?
Is the circle never ending?
The last line sounds less cliche, too, with a different voicing. Still, never-ending circle is cliche so maybe find a synonymous alternative? For example, you could approach it from the positive side...instead of never-ending, maybe say always turning, or continuous, or something akin to that.
Just throwing out some thoughts for your consideration.
Fine work, either way, and fine presentation.
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 26-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2019
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Thanks for reviewing and your great comments.
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:-)
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a nicely composed 20-syllable poem for the contest. Yes, life in my opinion is circular. We wonder if our soul goes on and on in a continuing cycle. I belief it does and one day we'll find out. Marilyn
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
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This is a nicely composed 20-syllable poem for the contest. Yes, life in my opinion is circular. We wonder if our soul goes on and on in a continuing cycle. I belief it does and one day we'll find out. Marilyn
Comment Written 01-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2019
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Thank you Marilyn, I really appreciated your kind words in the review.
Comment from kiwijenny
I think God has this..we are immortal...in spirit ,,,,finite in body.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. - Ecclesiastes 3:11
God bless
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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I think God has this..we are immortal...in spirit ,,,,finite in body.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. - Ecclesiastes 3:11
God bless
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great kind comments.
Comment from seaglass
Your short poem asks the questions humanity has sought to know for centuries. And a question that can not truly be answered. This is a very interesting picture.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Your short poem asks the questions humanity has sought to know for centuries. And a question that can not truly be answered. This is a very interesting picture.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great kind comments.
Comment from Janet Foor
An interesting question you pose for the reader in this 20 syllable poem. I love wreaths as they are a circle or a ring with no beginning and no end.
Well done and good luck
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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An interesting question you pose for the reader in this 20 syllable poem. I love wreaths as they are a circle or a ring with no beginning and no end.
Well done and good luck
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great kind comments. . And your good luck wishes.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I once wrote a poem on the top rim of a styrofoam cup. No matter where you started reading you would get the same thoughts. This is an excellent contest entry.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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I once wrote a poem on the top rim of a styrofoam cup. No matter where you started reading you would get the same thoughts. This is an excellent contest entry.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great kind comments.
Comment from susand3022
Dear Author, I like the subject you chose for your 20-syllable poem very much. The cycle of life is always a good topic. I do have a suggestion however, I found that the last line felt a bit awkward as another question and thought you might perhaps reconsider it as an answer to your previous questions... "It's a never-ending cycle." Also, you don't need the comma's. It took forever for me to learn not to automatically put punctuation at the end of each line in the poem and start each line with a capital letter all the time. Sometimes of course it's appropriate, depending on the style you're using but not always... took me ages to get used to that... I'm not sure if I still am or not! LOL
Your poem though, is very cool... nice write.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Dear Author, I like the subject you chose for your 20-syllable poem very much. The cycle of life is always a good topic. I do have a suggestion however, I found that the last line felt a bit awkward as another question and thought you might perhaps reconsider it as an answer to your previous questions... "It's a never-ending cycle." Also, you don't need the comma's. It took forever for me to learn not to automatically put punctuation at the end of each line in the poem and start each line with a capital letter all the time. Sometimes of course it's appropriate, depending on the style you're using but not always... took me ages to get used to that... I'm not sure if I still am or not! LOL
Your poem though, is very cool... nice write.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great kind comments.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Dear Anonymous Poet,
Thank you for sharing your entry in the twenty-syllable poetry contest. I love the picture you chose. the circular tree trunk, combined with the circling vines tell a tale all their own.
I wish you luck with your entry,
~Mustang Patty~
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Dear Anonymous Poet,
Thank you for sharing your entry in the twenty-syllable poetry contest. I love the picture you chose. the circular tree trunk, combined with the circling vines tell a tale all their own.
I wish you luck with your entry,
~Mustang Patty~
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great kind comments. . And your good luck wishes.
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Mystery Author,
Very well stated! Personally, I think the last line makes the most sense. Nature is cyclical that way. :-)
Nothing to improve upon in your great contest entry. Good luck in the booth!
Thanks for sharing,
Jan
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Hi Mystery Author,
Very well stated! Personally, I think the last line makes the most sense. Nature is cyclical that way. :-)
Nothing to improve upon in your great contest entry. Good luck in the booth!
Thanks for sharing,
Jan
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and your great kind comments. And your good luck wishes.
