Jigsaw
Weddings complicate everything27 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
Loved the story. It is strong detailed writing that kept me reading. The storyline is excellent and you had the surprise element at the end. Good luck with the contest.
Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Loved the story. It is strong detailed writing that kept me reading. The storyline is excellent and you had the surprise element at the end. Good luck with the contest.
Shirley
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Shirley. I love this kind of a helpful, detailed review. Thanks, too, for the five-star rating.
Comment from LisaMay
This made my mind spin with the shock/horror of this bombshell in the families and how they are going to handle those particular pieces of information revealed on the TV.
Your story is so relevant to how people's attitudes have had to stretch to accommodate public and private opinions and family attitudes.
Your imagery in this is amazingly creative; I love these lines the best: "looking like blanched seaweed being dragged across velvet sand", " inter-generational Mona Lisa bookends", "the color of damp concrete".
Just a comment, in this line (they lowered themselves into white the stretch limo) you meant to write "the white stretch limo".
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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This made my mind spin with the shock/horror of this bombshell in the families and how they are going to handle those particular pieces of information revealed on the TV.
Your story is so relevant to how people's attitudes have had to stretch to accommodate public and private opinions and family attitudes.
Your imagery in this is amazingly creative; I love these lines the best: "looking like blanched seaweed being dragged across velvet sand", " inter-generational Mona Lisa bookends", "the color of damp concrete".
Just a comment, in this line (they lowered themselves into white the stretch limo) you meant to write "the white stretch limo".
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Omigosh!! Yes! THANK YOU, LisaMay! I'll change that immediately. Really good catch!
Thanks, too, for your comments about today's ever-changing world and the way everything but everything is revealed on tv. I pretty much operate on the idea that everything I do is being recorded. George Orwell was right after all...it just happened later than he imagined.
PS Even with my juxtaposed words, you still gave me a sixth star? Now THAT's generous!! Thanks. xo
Comment from RodG
A very amusing story that is both social commentary about weddings that are more social events for the Press and satire. You set the scene vividly as we watch the jilted bride and her mother escape the Press. Fun to share with them "live" the Press questioning the new grooms. What works best for me is your careful attention to details and precise selection of words. Rod
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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A very amusing story that is both social commentary about weddings that are more social events for the Press and satire. You set the scene vividly as we watch the jilted bride and her mother escape the Press. Fun to share with them "live" the Press questioning the new grooms. What works best for me is your careful attention to details and precise selection of words. Rod
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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This is such a great review, RodG. It helps me a lot, as a writer, when I can know what connected. Thank you very much for that.
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My pleasure. Rod
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the image for your story;
you have written a good one.
-You have a strong beginning,
and make the reader wonder
what has happened.
-The characterizations are
done very well.
-Delia and her mother put
on the strong front necessary
to keep the press at bay.
-The descriptions of the two
fathers add to the situation
that brought changes in the wedding plans.
-The ending is very good, and
Erick certainly says the right things;
I wonder if he believes them all?
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
|
-I like the image for your story;
you have written a good one.
-You have a strong beginning,
and make the reader wonder
what has happened.
-The characterizations are
done very well.
-Delia and her mother put
on the strong front necessary
to keep the press at bay.
-The descriptions of the two
fathers add to the situation
that brought changes in the wedding plans.
-The ending is very good, and
Erick certainly says the right things;
I wonder if he believes them all?
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Pam. I think Erick is so heady from the rush of it all, he DOES believe them all at that moment! We'll re-visit it after they return from their honeymoon to Real Life. Thanksgiving dinner should be interesting!!!
Thanks for the good luck wishes with the contest and for all your well-thought-out comments. I love to hear from you because you're always so wonderfully specific. It helps me to know what connects with those who are reading these pieces. xoYou
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You are very welcome. He probably does believe, being in the moment. It sounds like you are planning more stories!
I appreciate your kind comments about my reviews. I enjoy doing them, especially when the material I am reading is good!
Comment from Miss Sherry
This is really a well-written story of disaster and recovery. This is a situation that could destroy most women. It is a topic of much debate and you handled it in an interesting way. I see this is for a competition and I wish you the best of luck. Will be anxious to see who you are so I can follow you.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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This is really a well-written story of disaster and recovery. This is a situation that could destroy most women. It is a topic of much debate and you handled it in an interesting way. I see this is for a competition and I wish you the best of luck. Will be anxious to see who you are so I can follow you.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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lol. All I'll tell you (because I don't know if really telling you disqualifies me or not, and I don't want to do that!!) is that you know me well. xo
Thanks for all this good feedback. It helps a lot with figuring out what does and doesn't work in a story.
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hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Absolutely, positively love this one -- it is well-written and emotionally charged while showing all the 'sides' of the families and players involved! And not to mention the lovely twist to your story - great job! :) The others will have to be something special to beat this one IMHO -- thank you for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;) ;) Yvette
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Absolutely, positively love this one -- it is well-written and emotionally charged while showing all the 'sides' of the families and players involved! And not to mention the lovely twist to your story - great job! :) The others will have to be something special to beat this one IMHO -- thank you for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;) ;) Yvette
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Since you are the champion of so many of these contests, Y.M., I am so happy to read this review!! Thanks very, very much!!
Comment from Gail Denham
Well done - saved the bombshell of the story until the end. Some good descriptions and I like that you wove dialog in with action and description. A couple metaphors made me pause - but overall good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Well done - saved the bombshell of the story until the end. Some good descriptions and I like that you wove dialog in with action and description. A couple metaphors made me pause - but overall good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Pause and then understand them, Gail, or pause, quizzically shake your head, and then move on, Gail? I so appreciate this kind of feedback; I honestly do.
