Gaudeamus Igitur
Rondeau Redouble22 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
Yes, I see the complicated nature of this form. I'm growing old it seems, because I have trouble following sequences. Learning a new function for my computer requires me to act out a series of sequences. I can't do it. I'm addled.
I doubt I could come up with ten rhymes for sequences.
Steeper is a much better place to step off--pardon the joke.
The 'ay' rhyme might be a bit easier, but you've chosen good words, like foray, and decay, to propel the story you're telling.
All the Latin I know is of the Pig variety--or tidbits I've learned from doing crossword puzzles.
By the way, I can't do Soduku--sequences get me every time.
Best of luck, Steve.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Yes, I see the complicated nature of this form. I'm growing old it seems, because I have trouble following sequences. Learning a new function for my computer requires me to act out a series of sequences. I can't do it. I'm addled.
I doubt I could come up with ten rhymes for sequences.
Steeper is a much better place to step off--pardon the joke.
The 'ay' rhyme might be a bit easier, but you've chosen good words, like foray, and decay, to propel the story you're telling.
All the Latin I know is of the Pig variety--or tidbits I've learned from doing crossword puzzles.
By the way, I can't do Soduku--sequences get me every time.
Best of luck, Steve.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Lee.
I spent seven years learning Latin, but I have only tidbits left too.
I know what you mean about not doing sequences. Anne has great trouble with that - blames it on years of smoking and drinking, probably correctly. She counters it by writing lots of lists - including steps to take for computer processes...
steve
Comment from Mark Valentine
As one who is fast approaching his sixtieth birthday, I can certainly relate. I'm generally not a huge fan of these more rigid forms, but when they are done right (like this one)they really do shine. Wonderful use of the repeated lines (not sure why, but I particularly like the one about taking the elevator). The changing relationship to the opposite sex hits home as well. My children tease me about being at an age now where it's OK for me to flirt with waitresses at a restaurant - it's cute now - because I am so old that the waitress will know that it's just fun (because it could never be serious flirting coming from an old man like me).
Alas, out of sixes.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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As one who is fast approaching his sixtieth birthday, I can certainly relate. I'm generally not a huge fan of these more rigid forms, but when they are done right (like this one)they really do shine. Wonderful use of the repeated lines (not sure why, but I particularly like the one about taking the elevator). The changing relationship to the opposite sex hits home as well. My children tease me about being at an age now where it's OK for me to flirt with waitresses at a restaurant - it's cute now - because I am so old that the waitress will know that it's just fun (because it could never be serious flirting coming from an old man like me).
Alas, out of sixes.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Mark.
A recent birthday may have started me on this theme, confirmed by having the girl at the hardware store carrying my goods to the car!
Virtual six appreciated.
Steve
Comment from tfawcus
Splendid example of this difficult form. The humour is too close to the truth as far as I'm concerned!
We, too, used to sing the Gaudeamus Igitur at school. Your title brought a small twinge of nostalgia to replace the more usual twinges of neuralgia these days. On the very rare occasions when I flip through the school magazine they send me annually in the hope of a bequest, I note that they still refer to gatherings of Old Boys as Gaudies. Tradition dies hard in a school that was founded in 1597.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Splendid example of this difficult form. The humour is too close to the truth as far as I'm concerned!
We, too, used to sing the Gaudeamus Igitur at school. Your title brought a small twinge of nostalgia to replace the more usual twinges of neuralgia these days. On the very rare occasions when I flip through the school magazine they send me annually in the hope of a bequest, I note that they still refer to gatherings of Old Boys as Gaudies. Tradition dies hard in a school that was founded in 1597.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Tony - delighted to get a sixer from you! Wow! Your school was around in the time of Shakespeare. I actually googled old English schools and narrowed it down to two - I'm guessing Aldenham... Of course NZ has nothing older than 200 years so we are enormously impressed by actual buildings that have stood the test of time. We have friends who live in Kent in a 500-year old farmhouse...
Iam reading an interesting novel at the moment set in a fictional school called St Oswalds - it's called 'Gentlemen and Players' by Joanne Harris.
I have to admit I struggled a little with the bloody 'steeper' rhymes for this - almost threw in the towel a couple of times and only finished it through sheer bloody-mindedness, so I am glad it makes sense. I always knew it would find many who could relate!
Steve
Comment from rama devi
Outstanding entry with very inventive rhyming, well timed, in this complicated and masterfully penned form. NOt only does it sound super read aloud, it is highly entertaining, develops a strong character POV and also made me LOL more than once. Bravo. Charming rhymes on aging.
The flow is great. Two optional suggestions:
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I'm growing old it seems; the stairs are steeper;
I'm growing old, it seems--the stairs are steeper;
*
I'll take the elevator if I may.
I'll take the elevator, if I may.
Very clever closing rhymes...oomph!
This life no longer is a cabaret,
and though I've never been that kind of weeper,
it's growing nearer to my Judgement Day.
I'll have to fight him off, that grim old Reaper --
I'm growing old, it seems...
Good luck! Should prove a contender.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Outstanding entry with very inventive rhyming, well timed, in this complicated and masterfully penned form. NOt only does it sound super read aloud, it is highly entertaining, develops a strong character POV and also made me LOL more than once. Bravo. Charming rhymes on aging.
The flow is great. Two optional suggestions:
*
I'm growing old it seems; the stairs are steeper;
I'm growing old, it seems--the stairs are steeper;
*
I'll take the elevator if I may.
I'll take the elevator, if I may.
Very clever closing rhymes...oomph!
This life no longer is a cabaret,
and though I've never been that kind of weeper,
it's growing nearer to my Judgement Day.
I'll have to fight him off, that grim old Reaper --
I'm growing old, it seems...
Good luck! Should prove a contender.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 22-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Rama, I am delighted with the six - thank you.
I do seem to have a knack for these things, but I have to admit I struggled a little with the rhymes for this.
I'll take a look at your suggestions too.
Steve
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You did well! :-))
Comment from tbacha58
This life no longer is a cabaret,
and though I've never been that kind of weeper,
it's growing nearer to my Judgement Day.
I'll have to fight him off, that grim old Reaper --
I'm growing old, it seems...
Yes, our lives are no more in any cabaret. Beautiful poem, beautiful story, and unfortunately our past is gone. Beautiful memories. Win it, Steve. Good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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This life no longer is a cabaret,
and though I've never been that kind of weeper,
it's growing nearer to my Judgement Day.
I'll have to fight him off, that grim old Reaper --
I'm growing old, it seems...
Yes, our lives are no more in any cabaret. Beautiful poem, beautiful story, and unfortunately our past is gone. Beautiful memories. Win it, Steve. Good luck.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from 24chas
This was a great read, Kiwisteveh. Unfortunately, I can appreciate everything you wrote in this piece. Growing old sucks, no doubt about it. Great job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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This was a great read, Kiwisteveh. Unfortunately, I can appreciate everything you wrote in this piece. Growing old sucks, no doubt about it. Great job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Chas.
I'm sure there are some positives about growing old - I just can't remember what they are!
Steve
Comment from lyenochka
You speak for many of us with the creaking bones and doctor visits. I like your use of the rondeau redouble repeating just the right lines so that we feel that emphasis of growing older. Really well done and a lovely picture, too. As we often are surprised that we are older!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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You speak for many of us with the creaking bones and doctor visits. I like your use of the rondeau redouble repeating just the right lines so that we feel that emphasis of growing older. Really well done and a lovely picture, too. As we often are surprised that we are older!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Helen. I am constantly surprised by my physical limitations!
Steve
Comment from LisaMay
When I saw the title of your poem it put me right back to school days in Canberra.
This poetic form is obviously somewhat tricky and choosing rhyming words 10 times is challenging, so what a high degree of skill you have shown in crafting this gem! It has hilarity tinged with pathos in it and is therefore very human (and a bit too close to the bone, also).
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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When I saw the title of your poem it put me right back to school days in Canberra.
This poetic form is obviously somewhat tricky and choosing rhyming words 10 times is challenging, so what a high degree of skill you have shown in crafting this gem! It has hilarity tinged with pathos in it and is therefore very human (and a bit too close to the bone, also).
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Lisa.
Count this as one for the old folks. It seems they're the only ones to review.
Steve
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You mean to say, there ARE young ones on this site? I have heard it said that young ones aren't taught to think these day, so they don't think to review, or they don't think they know how to review, or they don't know what to think about what they read.
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Kiwi,
LOL
This is a great piece of humorous poetry and a super contest entry. Best of luck in the voting booth.
Nothing amiss for me to suggest reworking.
Thank you for sharing,
Jan
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Hi Kiwi,
LOL
This is a great piece of humorous poetry and a super contest entry. Best of luck in the voting booth.
Nothing amiss for me to suggest reworking.
Thank you for sharing,
Jan
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Jan. Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from kiwijenny
Gaudeamus igutur
Iuvenes dum sumus....we sang that at Tauranga girls college... so let us rejoice at getting older...steeper deeper and fifty shades of grey hair...chuckle
God bless
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Gaudeamus igutur
Iuvenes dum sumus....we sang that at Tauranga girls college... so let us rejoice at getting older...steeper deeper and fifty shades of grey hair...chuckle
God bless
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Jenny, Whangarei Boys' High for me...
Steve
