Your Monochrome Life
Black and white is very limiting.11 total reviews
Comment from sfharper
What a wonderful switch on a black and white theme (sorry for the pun). It offers a good senryu since it discusses affairs of humans, it has a sharp snap to it. Enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2019
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What a wonderful switch on a black and white theme (sorry for the pun). It offers a good senryu since it discusses affairs of humans, it has a sharp snap to it. Enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2019
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Thank you for your appreciation of my senryu. I am pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, Your Monochrome Life, formatted in a 5-7-5 framework, suggests that truth is more lively and dangerous than the mundane world of deception and banality.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2019
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This senryu, Your Monochrome Life, formatted in a 5-7-5 framework, suggests that truth is more lively and dangerous than the mundane world of deception and banality.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2019
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Thanks for your review, Bill. I am intrigued how you arrived at truth being dangerous?
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Implied danger is the narcotic of an adventurous spirit.
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That is a wonderful line, Bill. Put it in a monostitch contest and I would vote for it.
But i would hope that being truthful does not necessarily need an adventurous spirit to be embraced as a value.
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If truth weren?t dangerous, no one would ever lie.
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There you go agin... another monostitch.
People make truth dangerous, not truth itself. It depends on what person is hearing it and one never entirely knows how someone is going to react to the truth, so yes, I have to admit that you are right.
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Now doesn?t that feel good?
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Yes, truthfully, it does.
I like to explore a statement.
Comment from Janet Foor
You are so right, Black and white is very limiting but many people look at life through this lense.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
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You are so right, Black and white is very limiting but many people look at life through this lense.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
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They do indeed, how depressing when there is such a riot of colour to enjoy in a positive kaleaidoscope life.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Stars for you, pen pal. I like your photo and black and white
focus. Maybe, our world would be better if people colored
outside the lines. We can touch others with love. **********
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
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Stars for you, pen pal. I like your photo and black and white
focus. Maybe, our world would be better if people colored
outside the lines. We can touch others with love. **********
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 12-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
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You made me fly like an eagle when i saw all those stars! Thanks so much. Love will always make a difference.
Comment from Mark D. R.
The black white image and your black/white text and background colors perfectly match your interesting verse.
... monochrome is such an old word, which I recall from my simple camera days
Best wishes in this contest.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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The black white image and your black/white text and background colors perfectly match your interesting verse.
... monochrome is such an old word, which I recall from my simple camera days
Best wishes in this contest.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Thanks for your review, Mark.
Ah, those were the days... simplicity... now we are awash in polychrome over-saturation.
Comment from 24chas
This was a good read. I like the use of the artwork which enhanced the words of the piece. I also liked the flow of it and the message. Nicely done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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This was a good read. I like the use of the artwork which enhanced the words of the piece. I also liked the flow of it and the message. Nicely done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Thanks so much, Chas.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Senryu about how our lives become surrounded by lies and uncaring people. The only way that will bring us some love and light is the truth that no one seems to share.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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A very well-written Senryu about how our lives become surrounded by lies and uncaring people. The only way that will bring us some love and light is the truth that no one seems to share.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Thanks for reviewing, Sandra. Sometimes the obvious is just not obvious to people. A truthful life lived in the Light should be the only life to lead.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This is a very good one, my friend. I can see it bringing you another contest victory. Is this one of your photographs? It's lovely, and a perfect representation of this terrific Senryu of yours. Good luck! xo
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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This is a very good one, my friend. I can see it bringing you another contest victory. Is this one of your photographs? It's lovely, and a perfect representation of this terrific Senryu of yours. Good luck! xo
Comment Written 11-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Hey hey, now I can go to bed happy, under that array of stars. Thank you so much, dear one.
Thanks for reminding me to credit the photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I love these words and they resonate with me, grey areas are the bane of people's lives at times and nothing seems black and white and the truth is the only saviour, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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I love these words and they resonate with me, grey areas are the bane of people's lives at times and nothing seems black and white and the truth is the only saviour, love Dolly x
Comment Written 11-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Thanks for these comments, Dolly.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Very well-stated and great advice to boot -- all in only seventeen syllables! :) I would suggest, perhaps removing the periods ... in such a limited format, let your line breaks to do your 'pausing', especially at the very end....you want the thought to linger with the reader and not just end when they move one (that's what the period does...). Your words make a wonderful offering for the contest... best of luck at the polls! ;) :)
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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Very well-stated and great advice to boot -- all in only seventeen syllables! :) I would suggest, perhaps removing the periods ... in such a limited format, let your line breaks to do your 'pausing', especially at the very end....you want the thought to linger with the reader and not just end when they move one (that's what the period does...). Your words make a wonderful offering for the contest... best of luck at the polls! ;) :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Thanks for your generous review and comments, which I had good think about and looked at my poem again. When I wrote it I was thinking of the last line more as an emphatic slogan for living, and as such I didn't really want it to drift off in a lingering manner, and therefore also I thought it needed a capital letter to make it a statement in itself, so therefore the preceding 2 lines needed some punctuation... gee whiz, I've rationalised it to myself all over again and have probably over-though it! I don't think I'm being stubborn or non-receptive... I am very open to other's suggestions, so I appreciate you taking the time to offer them.
