Without my dream
A beautiful dream.35 total reviews
Comment from Richard J
Hi, Willy!
What an amazingly lovely poem you've created here for us to read, enjoy, and review. Your metaphor, imagery, originality, and grammar choices are simply captivatingly enchanting.
I love a good poem that sings with imagination, and this one most definitely does that, and more! It's not an easy task to make unmetered lines flow, but you've done an admirable job of it.
Having said all that, on the techy side, a bit of attention is in order for you to make this masterpiece it deserves to be.
1) V1L2, make it a comma after "clouds,"
2) Be mindful of using too many "the", "and", and "I've" words.
For instance:
V1L4 would read and flow much better as, "And noisy crowds."
V2L3&4, check the line-break:
"I've been close enough to
Watch the milky way run."
L1V2&V3, check misspelling of "I'eve".
(I'll message you more.)
Oh, and what a fabulous picture to set the mood!
Thank you sincerely, Fellow Poet, for sharing your excellently imaginative skills, and for your generous points and cents. ~ Richard : )
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Hi, Willy!
What an amazingly lovely poem you've created here for us to read, enjoy, and review. Your metaphor, imagery, originality, and grammar choices are simply captivatingly enchanting.
I love a good poem that sings with imagination, and this one most definitely does that, and more! It's not an easy task to make unmetered lines flow, but you've done an admirable job of it.
Having said all that, on the techy side, a bit of attention is in order for you to make this masterpiece it deserves to be.
1) V1L2, make it a comma after "clouds,"
2) Be mindful of using too many "the", "and", and "I've" words.
For instance:
V1L4 would read and flow much better as, "And noisy crowds."
V2L3&4, check the line-break:
"I've been close enough to
Watch the milky way run."
L1V2&V3, check misspelling of "I'eve".
(I'll message you more.)
Oh, and what a fabulous picture to set the mood!
Thank you sincerely, Fellow Poet, for sharing your excellently imaginative skills, and for your generous points and cents. ~ Richard : )
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thank you.
Comment from Patty Palmer
I really enjoyed your poem! Life would be less interesting without dreams. In dreams you can go anywhere, see everything. and be whoever you want to be! You can dream big and you can dream small and the best part of dreaming is, you can dream it all! I liked the rhythm of the poem and the words colorful enough. I could see your dream along with you!
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I really enjoyed your poem! Life would be less interesting without dreams. In dreams you can go anywhere, see everything. and be whoever you want to be! You can dream big and you can dream small and the best part of dreaming is, you can dream it all! I liked the rhythm of the poem and the words colorful enough. I could see your dream along with you!
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your kind words, excellent review and stars.
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you're welcome!
Comment from Janet Foor
This is a lovely poem. Sounds like you always have good dreams. You are right, sleep is great if you have a good dream. I rarely remember my dreams - not sure if that is good or not. :))))
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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This is a lovely poem. Sounds like you always have good dreams. You are right, sleep is great if you have a good dream. I rarely remember my dreams - not sure if that is good or not. :))))
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I believe I responded to you review before, but if not thanks for the review and five stars
Comment from Janice Canerdy
What a lovely poem! You have made excellent use of specific details
to describe the power of dreams, which can take one from the lovely
scenes on earth to those far beyond.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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What a lovely poem! You have made excellent use of specific details
to describe the power of dreams, which can take one from the lovely
scenes on earth to those far beyond.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your kind words, excellent review and stars.
Comment from Eric M McChesney
Excellent! I was truly amazed at the flow of your poem, the fantastic imagery, the joy that was found within your tone. You took the reader on an amazing journey and I am humbled to have read these amazing words.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Excellent! I was truly amazed at the flow of your poem, the fantastic imagery, the joy that was found within your tone. You took the reader on an amazing journey and I am humbled to have read these amazing words.
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much for your kind review and stars.
Comment from Colin John
Yes I love this one and so should we dream about such things as we will never get a chance to see these marvels of nature. Cheers Colin
I wish it were possible one day and good luck with the contest/
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Yes I love this one and so should we dream about such things as we will never get a chance to see these marvels of nature. Cheers Colin
I wish it were possible one day and good luck with the contest/
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Sorry I'm so late thanking you for the six star review. I am so far behind. I am honored.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhyming poem about the dreams we have and not always make true, although the ones that becomes true is all worthwhile. The others we Just continue dreaming about,
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A very well-written rhyming poem about the dreams we have and not always make true, although the ones that becomes true is all worthwhile. The others we Just continue dreaming about,
Comment Written 02-May-2019
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is very interesting and well thought out. You've incorporated some very good in depth detail to each element of this dream. Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
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This is very interesting and well thought out. You've incorporated some very good in depth detail to each element of this dream. Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 01-May-2019
Comment from June Sargent
There is no limit to the places we can go to in our dreams. Without them, we would merely stagnate in our havens of safety and familiarity. I'd love to dangle my feet on the edge of a rainbow! Will have to add that to my list of destinations...thanks for sharing your journey.
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There is no limit to the places we can go to in our dreams. Without them, we would merely stagnate in our havens of safety and familiarity. I'd love to dangle my feet on the edge of a rainbow! Will have to add that to my list of destinations...thanks for sharing your journey.
Comment Written 01-May-2019
Comment from beizanten
A beautiful picture and a pretty good first stanza. Another pretty good stanza. A very good third stanza. Overall a pretty great poetry especially the ending. Keep up the great work
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A beautiful picture and a pretty good first stanza. Another pretty good stanza. A very good third stanza. Overall a pretty great poetry especially the ending. Keep up the great work
Comment Written 01-May-2019
