Conflagration
Fiery cause-and-effect18 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork you choose to go with your poem which is a perfect match You captured my attention from the first line to the last the movement of your words really got me upset
Your word touch my heart and soul I wanted him to stop at that very moment.... than the great writer you are got me good.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
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I love the artwork you choose to go with your poem which is a perfect match You captured my attention from the first line to the last the movement of your words really got me upset
Your word touch my heart and soul I wanted him to stop at that very moment.... than the great writer you are got me good.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 27-May-2019
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
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I'm glad you enjoyed it, MissCookie. I love this review! Thank you. xo
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My pleasure
Cookie
Comment from Coco Jane
Good piece with a great surprise ending!
Only one suggestion: in paragraph 8, you use the word "slipped" twice. Consider using "darted between shadows" to avoid the repetition.
The last line is delicious!
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
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Good piece with a great surprise ending!
Only one suggestion: in paragraph 8, you use the word "slipped" twice. Consider using "darted between shadows" to avoid the repetition.
The last line is delicious!
Comment Written 27-May-2019
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
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thanks.
Comment from Alex Rosel
I liked this a lot. You've played with the remit, employing a number of different interpretations for the premise of the given writing prompt in the contest's directions. An excellent entry. Good luck with this in the competition.
Just one point you might like to consider:
...his was always described as [having / possessing?]a fiery temper. -- spag?
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
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I liked this a lot. You've played with the remit, employing a number of different interpretations for the premise of the given writing prompt in the contest's directions. An excellent entry. Good luck with this in the competition.
Just one point you might like to consider:
...his was always described as [having / possessing?]a fiery temper. -- spag?
Comment Written 27-May-2019
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
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I was trying to vary the sentence structure. That one does seem a little awkward to me, too. What change does it need, Alex? I'd love your input here.
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I'd used his was always described as having a fiery temper ? just my personal preference for simplicity :)
Comment from LisaMay
Uh oh... he got that wrong. Run, Danielle... he's a nut-case computer geek who will get revengeful if you're late to dinner or really DO have a headache or long-lasting heartburn. Hit him over the head with that bottle of creme-de-menthe and get outta there. Grab his box of matches before you scarper.
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
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Uh oh... he got that wrong. Run, Danielle... he's a nut-case computer geek who will get revengeful if you're late to dinner or really DO have a headache or long-lasting heartburn. Hit him over the head with that bottle of creme-de-menthe and get outta there. Grab his box of matches before you scarper.
Comment Written 27-May-2019
reply by the author on 27-May-2019
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The basic rule should simply be: Always stay away from redheads. It's the warning label they were given by G-d.
xo
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Does that apply to me too?
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No, you're smarter and savvier than any redhead.You'll do just fine. xo
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Well, now that is certainly a very original approach to this contest writing prompt -- a very intriguing one indeed! ;) :) Thank you for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;)
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reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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Well, now that is certainly a very original approach to this contest writing prompt -- a very intriguing one indeed! ;) :) Thank you for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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Thank you. I consider that that ultimate compliment from The Queen of Originality!!
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Conflagration, was exceptional in both your cool use of 'fire' throughout, but the painfully ironic twist at the end. Loved it.
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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This story, Conflagration, was exceptional in both your cool use of 'fire' throughout, but the painfully ironic twist at the end. Loved it.
Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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Thank you very much!! I totally appreciate this encouragement from you.
Comment from shaffer40
I love everything about this story, from the title (reminds me of the old newspapers that refer to the great Chicago fire as a "great conflagration") to the "cause-and-effect" line--very clever--and the ending, which is a total surprise. It's like one of the old Hitchcock TV programs with a dirty trick played on the villain. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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I love everything about this story, from the title (reminds me of the old newspapers that refer to the great Chicago fire as a "great conflagration") to the "cause-and-effect" line--very clever--and the ending, which is a total surprise. It's like one of the old Hitchcock TV programs with a dirty trick played on the villain. Well done.
Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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Thanks, Shaffer40! I appreciate your encouraging review very much!
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You're welcome.
Comment from IndigoLady
If ever anyone needed a do-over, this poor sap did; althought I would say his reaction was a bit extreme. Good story, well written.
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reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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If ever anyone needed a do-over, this poor sap did; althought I would say his reaction was a bit extreme. Good story, well written.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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Yes, he is a bit impetuous!! Thanks for the fun review, IndigoLady.
