Mystic Creature
A love poem32 total reviews
Comment from DR DIP
Beautifully written in AABB rhyme scheme being a rhyming poet tragic I can so relate to your rhyme schemes. I only ever read poetry aloud and several times to establish the beat and the rhythm the poet wants it read in. I always encourage all rhyming poets to read other poets who write in rhyming verse to read aloud otherwise I feel they never will establish that rhythm and meter intended. Beautiful picture by the way I always see a picture or photo first then the words just come to me.
I posted something on the forum under the heading topic general the post was about open mike poetry. If you ever get a chance to read your poetry to an audience live do it they are such a wonderful sounding board.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful write
dip
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Beautifully written in AABB rhyme scheme being a rhyming poet tragic I can so relate to your rhyme schemes. I only ever read poetry aloud and several times to establish the beat and the rhythm the poet wants it read in. I always encourage all rhyming poets to read other poets who write in rhyming verse to read aloud otherwise I feel they never will establish that rhythm and meter intended. Beautiful picture by the way I always see a picture or photo first then the words just come to me.
I posted something on the forum under the heading topic general the post was about open mike poetry. If you ever get a chance to read your poetry to an audience live do it they are such a wonderful sounding board.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful write
dip
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I can respond to one of these reviews and still hold one open! I so appreciate your suggestions! It?s funny because I had a really hard time finding a picture that would compliments the poem. When I searched for mystic creature, most everything came up as either dragons or bat-winged creatures, and my character is by far neither LoL! xoxo
Comment from Beri Bee
Guide me through this passion flight is a gorgeous line that may have more than one meaning, I think. It is the most mysterious part of the poem which is so mystical feeling and also somehow romantic! It's wonderful!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Guide me through this passion flight is a gorgeous line that may have more than one meaning, I think. It is the most mysterious part of the poem which is so mystical feeling and also somehow romantic! It's wonderful!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much! This is the poem that will probably be my best work ever! We all have that one that can never be topped even if some others come close! The person who inspired it never got to see it, and has since left this earth. I can only hope that he finally knows how much he meant to me. I so appreciate you enjoyed :)
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Oh wow!! Thank you for sharing this with me! It is an amazing poem!
Comment from Mastery
Very well done and so very original as far as I can trll. I liked this stanza the est:
"Beyond the relics of our past,
We'll journey where a love can last.
This place for two alone shall be
Where we can love and be so free."
Blessings, Bob
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Very well done and so very original as far as I can trll. I liked this stanza the est:
"Beyond the relics of our past,
We'll journey where a love can last.
This place for two alone shall be
Where we can love and be so free."
Blessings, Bob
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Thank you Bob! I am so happy you chose to stop and review! I have been writing since 15 and now 62 with little or no real feedback from those who appreciate this art form. I think I finally found a home!
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I think you will be welcome here too. :) I am going to "fan" you right now. Bob
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I think you will be welcome here too. :) I am going to "fan" you right now. Bob
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Bless you! Thank you!
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, this lovely poem flows in smooth rhyming rhythm, easily and unforced in its fluid movement. The narration also moves smoothly in its tale of love and pleasure in a hidden realm, with an image that complements the verse...
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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In my opinion, this lovely poem flows in smooth rhyming rhythm, easily and unforced in its fluid movement. The narration also moves smoothly in its tale of love and pleasure in a hidden realm, with an image that complements the verse...
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Wow! Thank you sincerely for offering up your precious gift of ?6? stars! I am humbled and grateful that you took time to read and give feedback!
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You are very welcome, Diana - a stunning read in both verse and imagery...Eve
Comment from Lance S. Loria
A creative love poem.
Instead of "ourselves freely" try "...shall be free" to rhyme with "be"
Children dancing in the air. Try leaping?
An enjoyable poem to read with a nice rhythm
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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A creative love poem.
Instead of "ourselves freely" try "...shall be free" to rhyme with "be"
Children dancing in the air. Try leaping?
An enjoyable poem to read with a nice rhythm
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Thank you for checking out my work! I appreciate your suggestion. I use the word freely because it would be freely ourselves and I took poetic license to switch them around. I have looked at this further and made a revision taking out ?ourselves? completely. Appreciate very much!
Comment from Winslow
Dear Diana,
Your poem reminds me of the Everly Brother's song "Dream." For in the night all I have to do is dream of you and it will make it right.
Dream lover where are you, dream lover oh so true. I forget the artist.
For the most part excellent rhyming but there was one rough spot where you lost cadence and rhyming.
Here, Where we can be ourselves freely.
Cheers,
Winslow
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Dear Diana,
Your poem reminds me of the Everly Brother's song "Dream." For in the night all I have to do is dream of you and it will make it right.
Dream lover where are you, dream lover oh so true. I forget the artist.
For the most part excellent rhyming but there was one rough spot where you lost cadence and rhyming.
Here, Where we can be ourselves freely.
Cheers,
Winslow
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Awesome review! I appreciate it so very much! I have revamped that part and took out ourselves so I could use just the word free! And the Dream lover was written by Bobby Darin. I was only 5 when he released it, but I know both songs well! :)
Comment from Heather Knight
I love your poem: it's passionate, romantic and it reads like a song.
I like the mono-rhyme in the last verse.
The artwork is a perfect match.
Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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I love your poem: it's passionate, romantic and it reads like a song.
I like the mono-rhyme in the last verse.
The artwork is a perfect match.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Thank you fir spending your precious time reviewing my work! Since most of life can be a little boring, I enjoy creating images that you can only see with the heart! Appreciate your comment very much!
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I've just realized I gave you a four by mistake. I've fixed it now.
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No worry thank you so much though, greatly appreciated :)
Comment from Boogienights
This is lovely. Its like a dream that comes true, to meet some mystic creature who can take you places you could never go on your own. Your poem painted a picture in my mind of what I'd like my mystical creature to be like. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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This is lovely. Its like a dream that comes true, to meet some mystic creature who can take you places you could never go on your own. Your poem painted a picture in my mind of what I'd like my mystical creature to be like. Nicely done.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much for your time! I feel exactly the same! One must use their imagination to create the creature they want this to be!!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Diana,
You've written a marvelous fantasy poem of the mystic creature
with excellent rhymes and solid imagery.
The meter is very good with just a few hitches.
Foe example:
"Memories meant for us to hold" [meant for] looses the rhythm.
Since the other lines in the stanza start with an unstressed syllable, you might try: [With] memories for us to hold.
or try: Memories for us to hold. (with seven syllables as in stanza one)
The repeat of the third stanza at the end works nicely.
Very well done
Robert
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Hello Diana,
You've written a marvelous fantasy poem of the mystic creature
with excellent rhymes and solid imagery.
The meter is very good with just a few hitches.
Foe example:
"Memories meant for us to hold" [meant for] looses the rhythm.
Since the other lines in the stanza start with an unstressed syllable, you might try: [With] memories for us to hold.
or try: Memories for us to hold. (with seven syllables as in stanza one)
The repeat of the third stanza at the end works nicely.
Very well done
Robert
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Thank you Robert! I?ll definitely review that line and implement your suggestion! It is kind of you to point this out. I cannot nominate any more reviewers as newbie here ran out of them. But I?ll become your fan and save one for you later when they renew. :)
Comment from Patty Palmer
Very, very pretty! Your words seem to flow so easily with the rhythm and the rhyme it really made your poem shine! And repeating that stanza at the end tied it all together!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Very, very pretty! Your words seem to flow so easily with the rhythm and the rhyme it really made your poem shine! And repeating that stanza at the end tied it all together!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Appreciate you taking time to read and comment! Each one is so important to me now as I am almost at another milestone on this site! Reviews like this inspire me to have more faith in my work! Grateful and humbled :)
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I'm glad it encourages you to write. You're very talented!
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And yes, I?d love if you could share that list :).
