Summer Rains
A sonnet34 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello unknown author
I like the concept of your poem wishing for rain, here are my suggestions
When I was young, I wished for summer rains,
a respite from still air and steamy ( take y off from steam)
I stared at far off skies for ragged chains
of swollen angry clouds, a welcome fleet.
when I glimpsed sight of any (take our any) sky dark gray,
or felt a dampness touch dry skin left bare,
I'd say, "Those rains should come quite soon today
Wondering-
(I there's a hint of moisture in the air.")
When showers came they danced along the shore
like ballerinas high upon their toes
while out beyond the reef where breakers soar
and bellow soon transparent curtains rose.
Gert
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Hello unknown author
I like the concept of your poem wishing for rain, here are my suggestions
When I was young, I wished for summer rains,
a respite from still air and steamy ( take y off from steam)
I stared at far off skies for ragged chains
of swollen angry clouds, a welcome fleet.
when I glimpsed sight of any (take our any) sky dark gray,
or felt a dampness touch dry skin left bare,
I'd say, "Those rains should come quite soon today
Wondering-
(I there's a hint of moisture in the air.")
When showers came they danced along the shore
like ballerinas high upon their toes
while out beyond the reef where breakers soar
and bellow soon transparent curtains rose.
Gert
Comment Written 07-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much, Gert, for taking the time to read and comment upon SUMMER RAINS. I truly appreciate your suggestions, too, although in some cases any change would affect the rhythm and the meter. Iambic pentameter is not my favorite line length, but traditionalists expect the poet to follow the conventions.
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You are welcome RodG
I know one thing for sure, writing a a sonnet is not easy, that is why I don't write them/
Gert
Comment from Hitcher
I enjoyed your yearning for... Summer Rains sonnet friend. The meter was smooth and the visuals offered up in the minds eye strong.
My favorite line:
I stared at far off skies for ragged chains
of swollen angry clouds, a welcome fleet.
Good luck!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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I enjoyed your yearning for... Summer Rains sonnet friend. The meter was smooth and the visuals offered up in the minds eye strong.
My favorite line:
I stared at far off skies for ragged chains
of swollen angry clouds, a welcome fleet.
Good luck!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much, Hitcher, for sharing SUMMER RAINS and your kind praise. I appreciate your saying which verses were your favorite.
Comment from A. Willow Bends
Very nicely done. The overall effect is quite nice. I steer away from Sonnets, but need to venture in and give them a try. I love the sway of the sound of them and yours is excellent in that regard with your chosen topic of a summer rain. (I love summer and rain, so this one caught my eye!) This is higher than a 5 rating, but lacking 6's, I would just say, this is one I would shower with stars if I only could. Great job. Lovely!
Wendy
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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Very nicely done. The overall effect is quite nice. I steer away from Sonnets, but need to venture in and give them a try. I love the sway of the sound of them and yours is excellent in that regard with your chosen topic of a summer rain. (I love summer and rain, so this one caught my eye!) This is higher than a 5 rating, but lacking 6's, I would just say, this is one I would shower with stars if I only could. Great job. Lovely!
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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Hi Wendy. I am so glad you decided to take a peek at my sonnet. Many thanks for your very kind praise of SUMMER RAINS.
Comment from Yvon
This is a fine poem of reminiscing younger days when simple rains delighted a child. We all can remember listening to the rain bounce off the road. Great wording and visualization.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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This is a fine poem of reminiscing younger days when simple rains delighted a child. We all can remember listening to the rain bounce off the road. Great wording and visualization.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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I am so pleased you enjoyed SUMMER RAINS, Yvon. Thank you very much for your kind praise and stellar rating.
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You get what you deserve
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
First let me say I am old and I wish for summer rains many days. The graphic really fit the poem. I liked the construction of the sonnet but the imagery was very good. My two favorite entries were "Swollen angry clouds" and "they danced along the shore." Nicely Done -Robert-
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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First let me say I am old and I wish for summer rains many days. The graphic really fit the poem. I liked the construction of the sonnet but the imagery was very good. My two favorite entries were "Swollen angry clouds" and "they danced along the shore." Nicely Done -Robert-
Comment Written 07-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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I am delighted you enjoyed SUMMER RAINS, Robert. Many thanks for your kind praise.
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You're welcome
Comment from Chip Kuzborski
I love that the prompts conjured a pleasant childhood memory, one experienced by so many of your senses. I still feel that way in the dregs of summer when the still, dry heat permeates and sometimes overwhelms. I think of the times when light rain would fall from only a few wispy clouds that looked incapable of producing anything of the like. When I was young I would think it was a neighbor's sprinkler blowing into the yard since the skies were mostly blue. A little of nature's magic at work. Nice entry!!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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I love that the prompts conjured a pleasant childhood memory, one experienced by so many of your senses. I still feel that way in the dregs of summer when the still, dry heat permeates and sometimes overwhelms. I think of the times when light rain would fall from only a few wispy clouds that looked incapable of producing anything of the like. When I was young I would think it was a neighbor's sprinkler blowing into the yard since the skies were mostly blue. A little of nature's magic at work. Nice entry!!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
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I really liked your descriptionof those light summer rains you experienced as a kid. Many thanks for sharing my sonnet.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written sonnet about the summer rains that we welcome and prefer above the sweltering heat. Good use of the prescribed words to use. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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A very well-written sonnet about the summer rains that we welcome and prefer above the sweltering heat. Good use of the prescribed words to use. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Sandra, for sharing SUMMER RAINS and your very kind praise.
Comment from Bichon
I really liked this poem. You have reminisced greatly and made a beautiful pome with the allocated words you were given.
I especially like the lines:
When showers came they danced along the shore
like ballerinas high upon their toes
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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I really liked this poem. You have reminisced greatly and made a beautiful pome with the allocated words you were given.
I especially like the lines:
When showers came they danced along the shore
like ballerinas high upon their toes
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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I am delighted you really like my sonnet, Bichon. Many thanks for specifying which lines you enjoyed the most.
Comment from estory
It has a nice romantic tone to it, this poem about the fleeting relief of summer; what makes it I think is really this sense of reminiscing on a pleasant experience from the past. That's the real crux of the romantic philosophy; this idea of lost love, of lost experience, or an incomplete experience. An imperfect experience. There is a sense of beauty, in the pain, the loss. estory
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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It has a nice romantic tone to it, this poem about the fleeting relief of summer; what makes it I think is really this sense of reminiscing on a pleasant experience from the past. That's the real crux of the romantic philosophy; this idea of lost love, of lost experience, or an incomplete experience. An imperfect experience. There is a sense of beauty, in the pain, the loss. estory
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Thank you for sharing SUMMER RAINS, estory. I truly appreciate your interesting interpretations.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wow, Anonymous Poet.
You've not only managed to include all of the words the contest organizer required in your entry, but you included them in sonnet form to boot.
No easy feat, and your Shakespearean sonnet is in excellent form.
At least as far as I could tell.
Who doesn't love an unexpected summer squall when the heat is unbearable?
Great writing, and best of luck to you in the contest with this fine entry.
~Dean
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Wow, Anonymous Poet.
You've not only managed to include all of the words the contest organizer required in your entry, but you included them in sonnet form to boot.
No easy feat, and your Shakespearean sonnet is in excellent form.
At least as far as I could tell.
Who doesn't love an unexpected summer squall when the heat is unbearable?
Great writing, and best of luck to you in the contest with this fine entry.
~Dean
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much, Dean, for your wonderful response to SUMMER RAINS.
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You're more than welcome. :-)))
