The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "Rising From the Ashes"A Novel
31 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
A second chance at life you say Charles, I'm betting on it being a tad more complicated than the previous one.
Excellent instalment. The only thing I stumbled with was the 'old china' comment. I just didn't associate it with that part of the country.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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A second chance at life you say Charles, I'm betting on it being a tad more complicated than the previous one.
Excellent instalment. The only thing I stumbled with was the 'old china' comment. I just didn't associate it with that part of the country.
All the best
G
Comment Written 04-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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Yes, Cockney rhyming slang is a bit out of place in the West Country. I tried several expressions here. Most were too much like Charles's and Bisto's. I needed something a bit more plebeian. Still thinking about it - but have settled for 'mate' temporarily. Probably too Australian!
Comment from LIJ Red
A chapter of nonstop action, developing the story as it travels. Fires are always unearthly scenes, the familiar being devoured by an ogre... excellent post.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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A chapter of nonstop action, developing the story as it travels. Fires are always unearthly scenes, the familiar being devoured by an ogre... excellent post.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Red. I appreciate your comments and encouragement. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really well written, you had all the feelings and emotions down to a tee. I was so sorry the cottage was destroyed, I would have bought it from you if it wasn't too bad, lol. Now what will you do? I think I have one more part to catch up with. :) xxx
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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That was really well written, you had all the feelings and emotions down to a tee. I was so sorry the cottage was destroyed, I would have bought it from you if it wasn't too bad, lol. Now what will you do? I think I have one more part to catch up with. :) xxx
Comment Written 28-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
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Thanks for the comments about the emotional responses. They were one of the main reasons for these few chapters in Wiltshire. If I'd owned the cottage, I'm afraid that it wouldn't have been for sale. LOL
Bad luck!
Comment from WryWriter
* * * * * * Ignore the five star rating. This deserves a six. It is excellent work. No, it is better than excellent! You've written it so well, the reader gets the full visual and emotional effect. Need I say more?
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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* * * * * * Ignore the five star rating. This deserves a six. It is excellent work. No, it is better than excellent! You've written it so well, the reader gets the full visual and emotional effect. Need I say more?
Comment Written 27-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Very many thanks for another most affirming review! I shall go forward with a song in my heart.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great descriptions of escaping the blaze, you put us right there with Charles 'half sliding, half falling to the ground.Lovely chapter Tony, and I like the thoughts of Charles as he contemplates what he's lost and what he's found. Great read,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Great descriptions of escaping the blaze, you put us right there with Charles 'half sliding, half falling to the ground.Lovely chapter Tony, and I like the thoughts of Charles as he contemplates what he's lost and what he's found. Great read,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 26-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Very many thanks for another most affirming review, Valda, and for the sixth star! I shall go forward with a song in my heart.
Comment from Pantygynt
They do say that fire is a good purgative. It certainly gets rid of all the junk we cannot bear to get rid of. However it is always a shame to see an old place go up. I did wonder how many country cottages would boast a fire escape but, given that there was one I thought the escape and injury was well-handled.
I think another look at the conversational tone of the paramedic might be worthwhile. His speech patterns were so similar to Ian's that for a while I thought he had turned up and got into the ambulance. For example would he say 'old chap'? Might, 'mate's not be nearer the mark.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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They do say that fire is a good purgative. It certainly gets rid of all the junk we cannot bear to get rid of. However it is always a shame to see an old place go up. I did wonder how many country cottages would boast a fire escape but, given that there was one I thought the escape and injury was well-handled.
I think another look at the conversational tone of the paramedic might be worthwhile. His speech patterns were so similar to Ian's that for a while I thought he had turned up and got into the ambulance. For example would he say 'old chap'? Might, 'mate's not be nearer the mark.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Yes, the fire escape is a bit of an anachronism but I had to get my two main characters out somehow! Perhaps the cottage had previously been used as a B&B and Occ. Health and Safety regulations played a part...
You're right about the paramedic's dialogue. I've made some adjustments.
Comment from Karen Luciana
Hi Tony,
Great story! You write extremely well, especially with your use of similes and descriptive words. I hope to be able to read the next chapters of your story. Good luck!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Hi Tony,
Great story! You write extremely well, especially with your use of similes and descriptive words. I hope to be able to read the next chapters of your story. Good luck!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Very many thanks for a most affirming review, Karen, and for the sixth star! I shall go forward with a song in my heart.
Comment from sunnilicious
Omg, omg did you have to add such chaos so soon. Nice lead-in to the installment. Well thought out. Clearly written. Exceptional visual imagery created. Great narration. Good dialogue. Nice work. Sorry for running out of stars, but this is very deserving of them.
God bless you.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Omg, omg did you have to add such chaos so soon. Nice lead-in to the installment. Well thought out. Clearly written. Exceptional visual imagery created. Great narration. Good dialogue. Nice work. Sorry for running out of stars, but this is very deserving of them.
God bless you.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Very many thanks for another most affirming review, Alicia. I shall go forward with a song in my heart. Best wishes Tony
Comment from Unmie Dawn
Hello,
I have not the chance to read the previous chapters, but I do plan to go back and read them after having read this one. Every word written, made me connect with the characters and made me what to keep going. I felt like I was being sucked into their world. This is very well written. I look forward to the next chapter.
Sincerely,
Unmie Dawn
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Hello,
I have not the chance to read the previous chapters, but I do plan to go back and read them after having read this one. Every word written, made me connect with the characters and made me what to keep going. I felt like I was being sucked into their world. This is very well written. I look forward to the next chapter.
Sincerely,
Unmie Dawn
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Very many thanks for a most affirming review, Unmie, and for the sixth star! I shall go forward with a song in my heart.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
This is another intense, well-written chapter in this ever-twisting story.
A few suggestions:
"I sat up, instantly alert, [instantly] aware of the acrid smell of burning."
Suggest either dropping the repeat word or using a synonym like immediately, suddenly, at once, etc.
"Lie back, Charles, [old son]. Don't know if this is a British expression, it just sounds odd to these US ears.
"intern with [bum fluff] on his chin. I like this one.
The ending suggests a major transition in the relationship and story.
"I had been reborn, a phoenix rising from the ashes."
"I had gained something immeasurably better than I deserved; a second chance at life."
Without this ending, an editor might suggest dropping this as outside the major theme.
One thing to consider, Sir Robert's journal. If it is important, Helen could have left it in the sports car or at Bisto's house.
Very well done.
Robert
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Hello Tony,
This is another intense, well-written chapter in this ever-twisting story.
A few suggestions:
"I sat up, instantly alert, [instantly] aware of the acrid smell of burning."
Suggest either dropping the repeat word or using a synonym like immediately, suddenly, at once, etc.
"Lie back, Charles, [old son]. Don't know if this is a British expression, it just sounds odd to these US ears.
"intern with [bum fluff] on his chin. I like this one.
The ending suggests a major transition in the relationship and story.
"I had been reborn, a phoenix rising from the ashes."
"I had gained something immeasurably better than I deserved; a second chance at life."
Without this ending, an editor might suggest dropping this as outside the major theme.
One thing to consider, Sir Robert's journal. If it is important, Helen could have left it in the sports car or at Bisto's house.
Very well done.
Robert
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Very many thanks for another most affirming review, Robert, and for the sixth star! I shall go forward with a song in my heart.
The repeated 'instantly' has been canned, as suggested.
'Old son' is a peculiarly English expression that not suggestive of a familial relationship.
I have taken your suggestion of saving the car, in case the journal has a further part to play in the story.
