scream into the tempest
a poem of Faith.11 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a wonderful poem of strength and encouragement. It shows that faith sees you through anything that can happen in life.
Congratulations of tying for second in the contest
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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This is a wonderful poem of strength and encouragement. It shows that faith sees you through anything that can happen in life.
Congratulations of tying for second in the contest
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the insightful review.
As long as there is hope....cheers, j
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You are most kindly welcome.
dp
Comment from rama devi
Wonderful rhymes and flow to this uplifting poem of faith. The imagery is effective (though mildly cliche, it's delivered in such a well-voiced and eloquent way!)
The phonics are fantastic, especially the P, W, L and S sounds here:
Crouching in a pool of tears
as life storms whip around,
wicked winds of bitterness
and doubt, pummel and pound.
And the F and W SOUNDS here:
Find that little flicker
of faith that never dies.
It whispers, ''you can do this,''
as the will to win will rise.
And the S, M, W and N sounds here:
So scream into the tempest,
stand firm against the rain.
Storms will pass, they never last,
the sun will shine again.
Great to read aloud.
No nits but just one suggestion to make the last line it's own stanza for dramatic effect (and perhaps a semicolon instead of comma in the penultimate line):
Storms will pass; they never last.
The sun will shine again.
Great presentation.
Good luck in the contest, dear.
Hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Wonderful rhymes and flow to this uplifting poem of faith. The imagery is effective (though mildly cliche, it's delivered in such a well-voiced and eloquent way!)
The phonics are fantastic, especially the P, W, L and S sounds here:
Crouching in a pool of tears
as life storms whip around,
wicked winds of bitterness
and doubt, pummel and pound.
And the F and W SOUNDS here:
Find that little flicker
of faith that never dies.
It whispers, ''you can do this,''
as the will to win will rise.
And the S, M, W and N sounds here:
So scream into the tempest,
stand firm against the rain.
Storms will pass, they never last,
the sun will shine again.
Great to read aloud.
No nits but just one suggestion to make the last line it's own stanza for dramatic effect (and perhaps a semicolon instead of comma in the penultimate line):
Storms will pass; they never last.
The sun will shine again.
Great presentation.
Good luck in the contest, dear.
Hugs,
rd
Comment Written 23-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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namaste rd. I learn so much from you. After this concise review, I read the poem again and know why phonics matter. I get it, so thanks for that. Hope all is well with you, cheers.
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Thanks for your kind response, dear friend. Namaste! All is well. Hope the same for you. With love, rd
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about having faith that keeps us standing strong through every storm and know it will pass sooner or later and get us back on track.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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A very well-written poem about having faith that keeps us standing strong through every storm and know it will pass sooner or later and get us back on track.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Exactly, thanks for the insightful review Sandra. I hope all is well with you, cheers.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi
a super entry for this contest. Good luck.
The poem is tight and to the point, it has good cadence and doesn't belabour your them. I really think it is a good example of how to write clear, concise and still create 'art'
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Hi
a super entry for this contest. Good luck.
The poem is tight and to the point, it has good cadence and doesn't belabour your them. I really think it is a good example of how to write clear, concise and still create 'art'
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the encouraging review and sparkly stars to light my way. It helps to have a little mantra to get us through hard times. I hold on to my mom's gentle voice telling me , it will be okay.
Have a great day, cheers.
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with this and I love the strong beats and alliteration and enjambment in these lines:
"Find that little flicker
of faith that never dies."
I think you'll do well in the contest!
PS There's a lot of green space in the presentation - are there extra blank lines?
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Great job with this and I love the strong beats and alliteration and enjambment in these lines:
"Find that little flicker
of faith that never dies."
I think you'll do well in the contest!
PS There's a lot of green space in the presentation - are there extra blank lines?
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Thanks for your insightful review that always shows me how you see it. aliteration and enjambments that I did not even realize. I learn alot from you. Have a great day, cheers.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Woww!! It was such an amazing piece of writing. You're possessed with such a wonderful talent. I loved it and enjoyed reading it completely. I hope you'll go miles as a writer. Wishing you luck.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Woww!! It was such an amazing piece of writing. You're possessed with such a wonderful talent. I loved it and enjoyed reading it completely. I hope you'll go miles as a writer. Wishing you luck.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Aww, thanks for the encouraging review. I really have learned so much on this site. Writing different kinds of poems, learning from reviews received and reviews I have written to capture my thoughts from reading other's work. I appreciate you, cheers.
Comment from RodG
All of us have faced a crisis or tempest in our lives. The Speaker tells us to "find that flicker of faith that never dies" and use it as the impetus to move on. Your last stanza could almost stand alone. Rod
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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All of us have faced a crisis or tempest in our lives. The Speaker tells us to "find that flicker of faith that never dies" and use it as the impetus to move on. Your last stanza could almost stand alone. Rod
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the encouraging review Rod. I find it is helpful to have a little mantra to get through those stormy days.
I can always hear my mom saying ''it will be okay'' and that works for me, Have a great day, cheers.
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Thank you. And you too. Rod
Comment from Mackenzie Schmidt
I enjoyed your poem Scream Into The Tempest it clearly demonstrated a great poem of hope, faith and belief. The picture you used very well captured the theme of the poem. I like your use of alliteration in the line as the will to win will rise. The only suggestion I would make is to classify the poem as philosphy/commentary instead of general as well as capitalizing all the beginning letters of your title.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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I enjoyed your poem Scream Into The Tempest it clearly demonstrated a great poem of hope, faith and belief. The picture you used very well captured the theme of the poem. I like your use of alliteration in the line as the will to win will rise. The only suggestion I would make is to classify the poem as philosphy/commentary instead of general as well as capitalizing all the beginning letters of your title.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the encouraging review, sparkly stars and advice. I find solace in my mom's advice that everything will be okay and that helps me weather any storm. Have a great day, cheers.
Comment from Pantygynt
This simple and delightful little piece demonstrates a simple faith so clearly and well, as the last lines of the pom clearly illustrat:
'Storms will pass, they never last,
the sun will shine again.'
If that does not demonstrate faith then I would like to know what does.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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This simple and delightful little piece demonstrates a simple faith so clearly and well, as the last lines of the pom clearly illustrat:
'Storms will pass, they never last,
the sun will shine again.'
If that does not demonstrate faith then I would like to know what does.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Thanks for the insightful review. Just knowing that it will pass, gives me strength when those wicked winds blow. So scream into those tempests and know the sun is coming. Cheers.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, Jude -- this SO deserves six! That final stanza is just so darn powerful that it sings and resonates within the soul -- just beautiful!! Please accept this virtual... this is the first time in forever that I'm out of sixers on a Tuesday morning - so sorry!! :) Thanx so much and best of luck!! ;) Yvette
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Oh, Jude -- this SO deserves six! That final stanza is just so darn powerful that it sings and resonates within the soul -- just beautiful!! Please accept this virtual... this is the first time in forever that I'm out of sixers on a Tuesday morning - so sorry!! :) Thanx so much and best of luck!! ;) Yvette
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Thanks for your encouraging review and phantom stars. I have learned so much from this site. Writing all kinds of poems, receiving helpful reviews that guide me and even writing my thoughts on how poems move me, all contribute to make me a better writer, cheers.
