Reviews from

Billy

400-word Consequences entry

19 total reviews 
Comment from the13thpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello RODG, I enjoyed your story. It was well written and I enjoyed the characters and their dialogue. Speaking as a father myself, there is nothing like the wisdom, truth, and tough love of a father. Good job!

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
    Thank you so much for sharing BILLY. I am delighted you enjoyed the story, especially the dialog. Though I am a father, too, this story is totally fiction, based primarily on what I observed as a teacher. Rod
Comment from jenintorre
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Congratulations on winning the consequences competition. What a worthy winner you are. I thought your story was an excellent read, so poignant and true with such beleivable dialogue. Take care. Jen

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
    Thank you so much for the congrats and your kind praise of BILLY, Jen. I also appreciate the bonus of those six bright stars. Rod
Comment from Gail Denham
Excellent
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Divorce is a terrible thing to do to the children. Two of our sons were dumped by their wives - and the ones who suffered were the kids. It breaks the heart.
Your story brings this out.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
    I truly appreciate your sharing BILLY and hearing your story. Indeed, the children often suffer the most in a divorce. Rod
Comment from LisaMay
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love this story, upsetting as it is. Filled with the domestic drama of parental observation and wisdom (granddad's), the stress of divorce in both mother and child, coming up against bullying and school policy. It's a perfect storm for a perfectly formed vignette into an exchange between father and daughter, highlighting the impact of emotion on behaviour.
Congratulation... we shared top spot! That's rather nice... I feel humbled to share honours with your story, Rod.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
    Many thanks for your wonderful praise of Billy. I, too, am honored to share the prize with you, Lisa. And thanks again for sponsoring this contest. Rod
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Excellent
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A good illustration of the consequences of divorce. One of the paragraphs of dialogue could use a tag--"It's not a sulk." What about Billy, indeed? I hope people read this story, as a reminder.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Thank you so much, Darlene, for sharing BILLY. Yes, I, too, hope people will take away from it a lesson about divorce's consequences.
reply by Darlene Franklin on 16-Jul-2019
    The sharing was an accidental slip of the fingers. I'm glad up don't mind.
Comment from Mia Twysted
Excellent
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Wow, sometimes parents really do tell it the way it is. There are times when you just need to hear it with no sugar coating.

Divorce is hard on kids and there are far too many parents who don't think about that when they are going through the process.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Mia, you are absolutely right. Divorce can traumatize kids like Billy, and sometimes parents don't realize this until it's too late. Many thanks for sharing my short-short.
Comment from doggymad1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An interesting write that gives the reader food for thought. You have written a good story within the contest requirements. I was waiting for a bit more sympathy for the woman and her son though.

Best of luck in the contest
hugs
Freda

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Freda, if I had been given more words to work with you would have seen more sympathy for Steph, the mother. Many thanks for sharing BILLY.
reply by doggymad1 on 16-Jul-2019
    The interesting thing is that I was with the mother all the way
    hugs
    Freda
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This meets the contest requirements and then some as you present a complete story with both conflict and resolution thereof followed by the serious consequences of the impact relocation and divorce has on young children. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Thank you so much, Mystic Angel, for sharing BILLY and your kind praise. I truly appreciate the six-star bonus, too.
reply by Mystic Angel 7777 on 16-Jul-2019
    And my vote :).
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Many thanks!
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi there,

I liked this piece very much. I also appreciated the father's standpoint and it is an apt one. Too many folk these days just simply 'walk away' rather than working at things. Maybe it's young people with no sticking power or an erosion of old traditions but the after-effects or fallout can be huge, especially when children are involved.

Good piece.

they both get the same punishment. How unfair is that? - need closing speech marks here.


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Thank you for your very kind praise of BILLY and your validation of the father?s stand. I also appreciate the heads-up about quotation marks.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written heartfelt poem. Divorce is not always the answer and the children are usually the ones who suffers the most in the seperation of their parents. On the other hand, sometimes it is better to seperate your children from the abusive unproductive parent.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Thank you so much for sharing BILLY, Sandra. What you say about divorce is true. Sometimes it?s the best solution, sometimes it?s the worst.