Billy
400-word Consequences entry19 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a powerful contender for the consequences theme. The words from Dad are hard to hear, but ring of truth. The consequences are shared, harsh, but understandable. Good read.
Found this: You have a errant quotation mark leading your final sentence.
Happy day.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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This is a powerful contender for the consequences theme. The words from Dad are hard to hear, but ring of truth. The consequences are shared, harsh, but understandable. Good read.
Found this: You have a errant quotation mark leading your final sentence.
Happy day.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your kind praise, Bill, and I appreciate your sharp eyes.
Comment from Patty Palmer
I like your story. We have the same policy at our school and I don't like it either... but they know the rules. Every action has a reaction. Consequences
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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I like your story. We have the same policy at our school and I don't like it either... but they know the rules. Every action has a reaction. Consequences
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Hey, thank you validating what Grandpa said in BILLY. I am glad you enjoyed the story.
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You're welcome! My son In 8th grade had a boy start a fight with him. The other boy is the one that took the first swing. School policy for a fight, the one who swings first get suspended for several days. The other party gets 3 days suspended for fighting. My son chose not to fight back but after the first few blows he decided he needed to fight. His dad and I were called to the school to talk to the principal who informed us he was suspended for 3 days; It was just before Thanksgiving holiday. My husband told my son to have a great holiday. No one should have to sit and take a beating. He always told our boys, "Don't you dare start a fight, but don't walk away from one either!
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Your son's father was correct. Bullies don't stop tormenting unless the victim stands up to them. I think Allen Berke, the grandfather in my story, knows that, but it's more important AT THIS POINT IN TIME to teach his daughter a lesson.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Hello writer,
This is a good piece of writing and I wholeheartedly agree with the punishment imposed on both. It teaches them both a good lesson. Divorce is not pleasant mostly for children. Their world is shattered and they become someone else. You have caught the essence of it all in this piece.
Best wishes in the contest
Sylvia
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Hello writer,
This is a good piece of writing and I wholeheartedly agree with the punishment imposed on both. It teaches them both a good lesson. Divorce is not pleasant mostly for children. Their world is shattered and they become someone else. You have caught the essence of it all in this piece.
Best wishes in the contest
Sylvia
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thank you very much, Sylvia, for your kind praise of BILLY.
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Welcome
Comment from misscookie
You capture my attention from the first line to the last your story is so true I can relate to your story so well, my patents were not together even though
I had the best mom in the world being a girl I need a bad for more reasons then one. Because there was no male roll models in my home it affect me as a young teen to adult.
No I was not a fighter, just shy, confused and and withdrawn little other problems
thank you for sharing
cookie
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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You capture my attention from the first line to the last your story is so true I can relate to your story so well, my patents were not together even though
I had the best mom in the world being a girl I need a bad for more reasons then one. Because there was no male roll models in my home it affect me as a young teen to adult.
No I was not a fighter, just shy, confused and and withdrawn little other problems
thank you for sharing
cookie
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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I truly appreciate your reading BILLY and your personal story, Miss Cookie.
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your very welcome, have a nice day cookie
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's a tough one. Consequences aren't always fair. Sometimes you have to fight back against a bully. Kids point fingers at each other and it's not always easy to tell who started it. I think in this case an exception should have been made. Divorce has consequences. Sometimes not getting a divorce has worse consequences. Seems to me Steph did the best she could with the information she had. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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That's a tough one. Consequences aren't always fair. Sometimes you have to fight back against a bully. Kids point fingers at each other and it's not always easy to tell who started it. I think in this case an exception should have been made. Divorce has consequences. Sometimes not getting a divorce has worse consequences. Seems to me Steph did the best she could with the information she had. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much, Cindy, for sharing BILLY and your comments. Schools should treat all cases individually, but often employ a blanket policy like this one did. Steph appears in other stories I?ve posted and is indeed doing her best.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job, Mystery Author, with your contest entry. I enjoyed reading it. All the elements of a story are included. Your lines read well. I like the dialogue, too. That makes it real. Your topic is well-expressed. Good job and best wishes. Jan
Did you use the word 'lesson' in your story? I did not find it and it is a requirement.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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You did a good job, Mystery Author, with your contest entry. I enjoyed reading it. All the elements of a story are included. Your lines read well. I like the dialogue, too. That makes it real. Your topic is well-expressed. Good job and best wishes. Jan
Did you use the word 'lesson' in your story? I did not find it and it is a requirement.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I am delighted you liked BILLY so much, Jan, and thanks so much for the heads-up. I can?t read. But I fixed it. Again, many thanks.
Comment from Mistydawn
The story is well-written, interesting, believable. There was just enough description I could picture it in my mind. Sometimes we don't think about what our actions do to our kids, nice job.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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The story is well-written, interesting, believable. There was just enough description I could picture it in my mind. Sometimes we don't think about what our actions do to our kids, nice job.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I am delighted you enjoyed the story and that you could picture what was happening. I had little room for details with only 400 words to work with. Many thanks for the kind praise.
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You handled the limited word count very well.
Comment from royowen
You've skilfully manouvred this oh so true, common result of divorce, it is a sickness in our society, and is a result of people's inability to accept the principle of promise. Beautifully written, sensitively crafted with a perceptive and intimate knowledge of honest pondering, well done, good job, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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You've skilfully manouvred this oh so true, common result of divorce, it is a sickness in our society, and is a result of people's inability to accept the principle of promise. Beautifully written, sensitively crafted with a perceptive and intimate knowledge of honest pondering, well done, good job, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thank you for sharing BILLY, Roy, and your most encouraging praise of the story. I am very pleased you like it so much.
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Good job,
Comment from JLR
This could be the topic of many a dad/daughter conversation anywhere in our country and abroad. Divorce rates are climbing higher and higher and there are the consequences, many of them then children now broken home children caught in a spiral. Good writer, good topic, good success!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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This could be the topic of many a dad/daughter conversation anywhere in our country and abroad. Divorce rates are climbing higher and higher and there are the consequences, many of them then children now broken home children caught in a spiral. Good writer, good topic, good success!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Indeed, this topic comes up often with many of my friends and their daughters. Many thanks, JLR, for sharing BILLY and your kind praise.
