Domino Effect
Moving out of a place because we were evicted15 total reviews
Comment from JLR
First and foremost thank you for sharing your most challenging life happenings. Your upheavals are poignantly to teal for so many people who are not to many steps away from tragic losses. Your resilience is what can be strangle hold back into the full swing of life. Good luck, no actually go successes in abundance!
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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First and foremost thank you for sharing your most challenging life happenings. Your upheavals are poignantly to teal for so many people who are not to many steps away from tragic losses. Your resilience is what can be strangle hold back into the full swing of life. Good luck, no actually go successes in abundance!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. Thank you for your words of encouragement of my situation. I do plan on having successes in abundance after this. Thank you for reading.
Comment from Elaine Chiodi
What a heartbreaking tale. It doesn't take long to fall behind these days, and the consequences are often dire.
The punctuation in the second paragraph is a bit rough with two incomplete sentences, "The outcome of losing..." and "Producing the succession...". Both could have been joined to their prior sentence with a comma or semicolon to read more smoothly.
The words "event/s" and "succession" were repetitive, and I believe you meant "destitution" in the first paragraph and "than" in the second.
These minor corrections did not interfere with the empathy I felt for you and your family while reading this story. I hope your nightmare has ended and you're life is running smoothly again.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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What a heartbreaking tale. It doesn't take long to fall behind these days, and the consequences are often dire.
The punctuation in the second paragraph is a bit rough with two incomplete sentences, "The outcome of losing..." and "Producing the succession...". Both could have been joined to their prior sentence with a comma or semicolon to read more smoothly.
The words "event/s" and "succession" were repetitive, and I believe you meant "destitution" in the first paragraph and "than" in the second.
These minor corrections did not interfere with the empathy I felt for you and your family while reading this story. I hope your nightmare has ended and you're life is running smoothly again.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. I did change the one to a semicolon and it does read smoother. I did change the destitute to destitution and it sounds much better. Thank you for pointing out those things. I am glad you could feel empathy with the words the I have written. My nightmare has not ended per say, but is getting better. Thank you for reading.
Comment from Sheridan1
The writing is good if you are still feeling traumatized. On the other hand - if you read it out loud you will notice some editing needs beyond what I've noted.
"...our hour of destitution."?
'hospital and scared...' 'than the final..'
Thanks for this. Those of us who are in a more secure place need to be reminded that security can be a temporary thing. Good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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The writing is good if you are still feeling traumatized. On the other hand - if you read it out loud you will notice some editing needs beyond what I've noted.
"...our hour of destitution."?
'hospital and scared...' 'than the final..'
Thanks for this. Those of us who are in a more secure place need to be reminded that security can be a temporary thing. Good luck.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. Thank you for pointing out some of the changes needed. I always appreciate corrections being pointed out. This helps my writing. I am glad that you liked this and found some meaning with it. Thank you for reading.
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Wow. Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry to hear of your reversal of circumstances. There are often community resources available to help if you know where to go or who to ask. I don't know where you're from but if you're in the United States the United Way is a good place to start. They have an exchange number you can call. It's 211. I think it's universal wherever you live like 411 for information or 911 for help. If it is the same in every state you can dial 211 and tell them your situation and they will tell you where to go to find help you need. They pretty much help for everything! That includes shelter and money to pay rent and or mortgage and utility bills. If the exchange doesn't work in your state call your local chapter of the United Way and or the Red Cross Good luck!
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Wow. Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry to hear of your reversal of circumstances. There are often community resources available to help if you know where to go or who to ask. I don't know where you're from but if you're in the United States the United Way is a good place to start. They have an exchange number you can call. It's 211. I think it's universal wherever you live like 411 for information or 911 for help. If it is the same in every state you can dial 211 and tell them your situation and they will tell you where to go to find help you need. They pretty much help for everything! That includes shelter and money to pay rent and or mortgage and utility bills. If the exchange doesn't work in your state call your local chapter of the United Way and or the Red Cross Good luck!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. Thank you for the information. I will check it out. Thank you for reading.
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You're very welcome!
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
I'm so sorry!! My work would have helped out with the bills. It is sad that so many places care so little about the people who work for them. Is your stress due to your job also? Then they caused the illness and treat you badly for getting sick. Shame!! Makes me so mad! Do you have a church family? Most churches are so good about helping their people and even those who don't attend. My church has helped out homeless people many times. If you know of a church who can help you, don't be shy or afraid to ask. If the first says no, try another. The Lord talked about helping the needing almost more than anything else and it is the churches job to do so. I do hope things turn around for you. Please keep us updated as to how you are doing. Rox
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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I'm so sorry!! My work would have helped out with the bills. It is sad that so many places care so little about the people who work for them. Is your stress due to your job also? Then they caused the illness and treat you badly for getting sick. Shame!! Makes me so mad! Do you have a church family? Most churches are so good about helping their people and even those who don't attend. My church has helped out homeless people many times. If you know of a church who can help you, don't be shy or afraid to ask. If the first says no, try another. The Lord talked about helping the needing almost more than anything else and it is the churches job to do so. I do hope things turn around for you. Please keep us updated as to how you are doing. Rox
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. I am a hospice nurse so my job has stress with it. The stress that caused my illness started many years ago when my husband and I tried to buy the house we were renting. We went through Quicken Loans and ended up losing thousands of dollars and didn't get approved for the home and had to leave that house quickly. I have tried churches and have been told unless I went to the church I would not get any help. I will let you know how things are. I am very optimistic and feel something is better around the corner. Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Thankfully, that would not be allowed to happen in England. That is awful! I read this out to my husband, and we were both shocked that this has happened to you. I do hope and pray those ripples turn into something positive soon. Keep your chin up, I know that is easier said than done. Good luck in the contest, you stand a great chance of winning this. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thankfully, that would not be allowed to happen in England. That is awful! I read this out to my husband, and we were both shocked that this has happened to you. I do hope and pray those ripples turn into something positive soon. Keep your chin up, I know that is easier said than done. Good luck in the contest, you stand a great chance of winning this. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. Thank you for the encouragement on the contest. I always try to stay positive and optimistic, and yes it is hard to do at times. Thank you for reading.
Comment from aryr
Wow, such devastation Sandra. I do so wish you, your husband and sister and of course the little four legged ones luck. Having been there I can only suggest keeping your chin and hopes up. Life will turn around for you. Blessings, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Wow, such devastation Sandra. I do so wish you, your husband and sister and of course the little four legged ones luck. Having been there I can only suggest keeping your chin and hopes up. Life will turn around for you. Blessings, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. Thank you for the wish of luck. I do have faith and belief that life will turn around for me, and I try to stay positive. Thank you for wising me luck in the contest. I appreciate you reading this.
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You are most welcome Sandra, blessings.
Comment from Gail Denham
I'm so sorry you found yourself in this situation, through no fault of your own really. Thanks for sharing your story - many others share this plight - when the landlord decides he wants to sell the house you're renting. This has happened to my family when I was young.
Blessings.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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I'm so sorry you found yourself in this situation, through no fault of your own really. Thanks for sharing your story - many others share this plight - when the landlord decides he wants to sell the house you're renting. This has happened to my family when I was young.
Blessings.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. Many people do share this plight, and unfortunately it is a plight that is increasing in our population. Thank you for reading.
Comment from Alex Rosel
I think this is a good entry for the True Story Contest. It is so obviously true, and the narrative proceeds without the burden of sentimentality or self-pity. It's powerful writing :)
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
That was until today June 4, 2019; move-out day. Spag. A semi-colon can only separate two independent clauses that are sentences in their own right. So the semi-colon isn't appropriate here since move-out day isn't a sentence in its own right. Replace the semi-colon with a comma or a colon?
started the ripple of events to follow -- I like this. It's very descriptive with emotional impact :)
Producing the succession of rent behind utilities behind, and eventually the move-out -- Spag? Comma after rent behind?
as a succession of the parade down Maine Street -- I like this simile :)
Good luck with the competition :)
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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I think this is a good entry for the True Story Contest. It is so obviously true, and the narrative proceeds without the burden of sentimentality or self-pity. It's powerful writing :)
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
That was until today June 4, 2019; move-out day. Spag. A semi-colon can only separate two independent clauses that are sentences in their own right. So the semi-colon isn't appropriate here since move-out day isn't a sentence in its own right. Replace the semi-colon with a comma or a colon?
started the ripple of events to follow -- I like this. It's very descriptive with emotional impact :)
Producing the succession of rent behind utilities behind, and eventually the move-out -- Spag? Comma after rent behind?
as a succession of the parade down Maine Street -- I like this simile :)
Good luck with the competition :)
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. Thank you for pointing out those mistakes and I have fixed them. Thank you for your wish of luck for the contest. I appreciate you reading this. Thanks
Comment from the13thpoet
First let me start by saying thank you for sharing that difficult and personal story. I want to assure you that your situation was no fault of your own, but of a country who boasts of greatness yet let it's citizens fall to the waste side. If other countries who supposedly aren't as great as us can offer their citizens at least the basics of healthcare at no cost, why can't we. Good luck in the contest and future, things will get better.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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First let me start by saying thank you for sharing that difficult and personal story. I want to assure you that your situation was no fault of your own, but of a country who boasts of greatness yet let it's citizens fall to the waste side. If other countries who supposedly aren't as great as us can offer their citizens at least the basics of healthcare at no cost, why can't we. Good luck in the contest and future, things will get better.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review and rating. I appreciate your words of luck for the contest. I have to agree with you on the country and healthcare. Thank you for reading.
