Lost in Loneliness
Despair8 total reviews
Comment from pome lover
this is very good.
Your choice of descriptive words: isolation, numbness, despair - all give the reader pause - thinking of the picture they paint. And the picture, too, is depressing instead of beautiful, as it could be under difference circumstances.
good job.
pome lover
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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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this is very good.
Your choice of descriptive words: isolation, numbness, despair - all give the reader pause - thinking of the picture they paint. And the picture, too, is depressing instead of beautiful, as it could be under difference circumstances.
good job.
pome lover
.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for your comments.
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most welcome
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's so sad. How awful to be so alone on a winter sidewalk. My heart breaks for people who really are in that situation. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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That's so sad. How awful to be so alone on a winter sidewalk. My heart breaks for people who really are in that situation. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much!
Comment from RodG
I like how you try to describe your Speaker's despair, but your poem is cluttered with unnecessary words. Here is how I might write stanza one:
I trod on in dismal silence
alone in Winter's desolation
defeated
isolated.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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I like how you try to describe your Speaker's despair, but your poem is cluttered with unnecessary words. Here is how I might write stanza one:
I trod on in dismal silence
alone in Winter's desolation
defeated
isolated.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from LisaMay
The well-portrayed chill of winter seeps into my bones here, to really emphasise the numbing isolation you capture with associated feelings of despair and silent loneliness.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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The well-portrayed chill of winter seeps into my bones here, to really emphasise the numbing isolation you capture with associated feelings of despair and silent loneliness.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from ava3kangaroo
This poem is very well written. It sounds really nice out loud. The words you chose to use work very well for this poem. The descriptions make you feel like you are there, watching the poem come to life. Good Job!!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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This poem is very well written. It sounds really nice out loud. The words you chose to use work very well for this poem. The descriptions make you feel like you are there, watching the poem come to life. Good Job!!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much for this wonderful review.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Right smack dab in the middle of this poem is my favorite line: "and I found raw stillness had possessed me." Loneliness is indeed full of silence and stillness, and the idea of it being raw like an open wound or laceration, where even the slightest change in air pressure affects the feeling is definitely telling. Nice choice of winter as a time when loneliness is more drastic, perhaps because of holidays, perhaps because of the cold, perhaps because even the trees, which are prominent in your photo choice, have lost all the camaraderie of leaves as well. Really not sure what to improve on.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Right smack dab in the middle of this poem is my favorite line: "and I found raw stillness had possessed me." Loneliness is indeed full of silence and stillness, and the idea of it being raw like an open wound or laceration, where even the slightest change in air pressure affects the feeling is definitely telling. Nice choice of winter as a time when loneliness is more drastic, perhaps because of holidays, perhaps because of the cold, perhaps because even the trees, which are prominent in your photo choice, have lost all the camaraderie of leaves as well. Really not sure what to improve on.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank so much!!!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You describe despair cleverly here and the added cold and chilling ice and snow adds resonance to that feeling. Loneliness is still and cold and chills the bones and makes the heart ache, I wish you luck with the contest, I felt those feelings with you here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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You describe despair cleverly here and the added cold and chilling ice and snow adds resonance to that feeling. Loneliness is still and cold and chills the bones and makes the heart ache, I wish you luck with the contest, I felt those feelings with you here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you.
Comment from A Little Bird
Congratulations on a great piece of work! Personally I feel loneliest whilst surrounded by people. But maybe that's because I live in Queensland, Australia and we basically don't have a winter. Good luck with the competition!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Congratulations on a great piece of work! Personally I feel loneliest whilst surrounded by people. But maybe that's because I live in Queensland, Australia and we basically don't have a winter. Good luck with the competition!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
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Thank you very much for your great review.
