Along a Broken Road
A 5 Line Poem38 total reviews
Comment from Gail Denham
Oh I do wonder where this road is - could it be an abandoned railway right-of-way - or perhaps even the wagon train ruts that still remain in place in some areas (like in our Eastern Oregon) - however, your poem has a double meaning. I do like it - some do follow a broken road, their mood grey and brooding.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Oh I do wonder where this road is - could it be an abandoned railway right-of-way - or perhaps even the wagon train ruts that still remain in place in some areas (like in our Eastern Oregon) - however, your poem has a double meaning. I do like it - some do follow a broken road, their mood grey and brooding.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hi Gail... I believe the photo is part of the Appian Way outside of Rome... It was built around 380 BC. Thanks for the great review.
Melissa
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Melissa. The bleak picture you have used as the backdrop for the poem amplifies the words of the poem. It is a discouragement in words as well as graphically. Robert
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hello Melissa. The bleak picture you have used as the backdrop for the poem amplifies the words of the poem. It is a discouragement in words as well as graphically. Robert
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hi Robert... sorry its so gloomy. I appreciate your candid comments!!
Melissa
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Melissa. I never mean to offend. I just comment on how I see a work. :) Robert
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No problem, Robert, no offense taken. I like to hear your thoughts on my writes... really!! :). Melissa
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O K.
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your emotional poem and vivid description reinforced by the parallel picture. You even managed to include alliteration and rhyme in this 5-Line Poem! Cheers and best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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I admired your emotional poem and vivid description reinforced by the parallel picture. You even managed to include alliteration and rhyme in this 5-Line Poem! Cheers and best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you Joan for your comments. Much appreciated.
Melissa
Comment from royowen
I like this work Elissa, it sets me thinking. Of course brokenness is necessary for growth, pride will subdue growth and propels us in the hedonistic direction, but humility drives us down that wise highway to understanding. Well done, a great entry in this contest, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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I like this work Elissa, it sets me thinking. Of course brokenness is necessary for growth, pride will subdue growth and propels us in the hedonistic direction, but humility drives us down that wise highway to understanding. Well done, a great entry in this contest, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thanks so very much, Roy, for your insight!!
Melissa
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Isn't there a song about a broken road? I'm sure there must be, there seems to be a song about everything. This is a really interesting picture, do you think it's a actual road? Anyway well done my dear, a most poignant poem.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Isn't there a song about a broken road? I'm sure there must be, there seems to be a song about everything. This is a really interesting picture, do you think it's a actual road? Anyway well done my dear, a most poignant poem.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hi Rox. Yes, this is an ancient road called the Appian way ~ outside of Rome. Very historical. Thank you for your review.
Melissa
Comment from Aussie
The photo compliments your five line poem so well. Not easy to tell a story in five lines but you achieved it so well.
A broken spirit will revive as soon as the sun comes out, then spirit will thrive.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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The photo compliments your five line poem so well. Not easy to tell a story in five lines but you achieved it so well.
A broken spirit will revive as soon as the sun comes out, then spirit will thrive.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hi There!! Thanks for your comments and encouragement. Much appreciated.
Melissa
Comment from Gloria ....
Hey Melissa, this is an interesting thought. In combination with the artwork it reminds me of the idea that each of us has to walk the path we can see with out own feet.
Great job with this entry and best of luck to you with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hey Melissa, this is an interesting thought. In combination with the artwork it reminds me of the idea that each of us has to walk the path we can see with out own feet.
Great job with this entry and best of luck to you with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hi Gloria. Thanks so much. It is a gloomy write and photo, but I wanted to showcase the starkness.
Melissa
Comment from Mark D. R.
Melissa,
Obviously the verse and illustration go together as a tandem.
Maybe if asked in an English class assignment to make only one suggestion to your verse, I would offer as a edit for 'broken' the word ''cobbled' (or 'cracked'). Not in class, so it is fine as is. LOL
Mark
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Melissa,
Obviously the verse and illustration go together as a tandem.
Maybe if asked in an English class assignment to make only one suggestion to your verse, I would offer as a edit for 'broken' the word ''cobbled' (or 'cracked'). Not in class, so it is fine as is. LOL
Mark
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hi Mark. I used the term .. broken.. to showcase someone who is wounded. Maybe there was a better choice.
Melissa
Comment from kahpot
What a wonderful photo just miles of Wounded Spirits, your words describe this excellently and your syllable count is spot on, very well written and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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What a wonderful photo just miles of Wounded Spirits, your words describe this excellently and your syllable count is spot on, very well written and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you, my friend, for this review. I appreciate your insightful comments.
Melissa
Comment from June Sargent
What a poignant piece that would resonate with most people. At one or another we all can feel wounded ans bereft. And it can feel like we're soaked in sadness. Well written poem in a few short lines.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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What a poignant piece that would resonate with most people. At one or another we all can feel wounded ans bereft. And it can feel like we're soaked in sadness. Well written poem in a few short lines.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Hi June... thank you for the insightful review ~ I am glad you get it.
Melissa
