Finding My Faith In Youth
Reassuring acts of kindness. (1,309 words)7 total reviews
Comment from Mia Twysted
INteresting take on finding something that changes you. It is a wonderful story and message. No matter how bad you think things are there are rays of hope in you just pay attention.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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INteresting take on finding something that changes you. It is a wonderful story and message. No matter how bad you think things are there are rays of hope in you just pay attention.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review, Mia... and congratulations for being a worthy winner of the contest with your small red key!
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
The eternal battle between generations. And then the bridge between them polished with acts of kindness. In conclusion "So, having previously lost my faith in the youth of today, would it ever be found again? My plaintive rhetorical question has now been answered with a resounding "Yes!" I have been reassured that I do indeed live in a caring community, where young people are compassionate, thoughtful, connected, and skilful. All is not lost.
Found It writing prompt entry "
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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The eternal battle between generations. And then the bridge between them polished with acts of kindness. In conclusion "So, having previously lost my faith in the youth of today, would it ever be found again? My plaintive rhetorical question has now been answered with a resounding "Yes!" I have been reassured that I do indeed live in a caring community, where young people are compassionate, thoughtful, connected, and skilful. All is not lost.
Found It writing prompt entry "
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review and comments, Iza. Much appreciated.
Comment from Sallyo
Interesting story and it reflects a lot of my feeling and experience. I've found a smile goes a long way. Young people often respond to it and seem a bit surprised. Mind you, I have dogs with me, and that seems to make a lot of people smile too.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Interesting story and it reflects a lot of my feeling and experience. I've found a smile goes a long way. Young people often respond to it and seem a bit surprised. Mind you, I have dogs with me, and that seems to make a lot of people smile too.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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... as long as the dogs aren't 'smiling' with their teeth bared!
Comment from the13thpoet
I enjoyed reading your story. With all the bad things and negativity in the world today it is easy to feel the way you do. But like in this story, it is the small acts of kindness that restore my faith in humanity. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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I enjoyed reading your story. With all the bad things and negativity in the world today it is easy to feel the way you do. But like in this story, it is the small acts of kindness that restore my faith in humanity. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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I'm pleased you enjoyed my story... thanks for reading and reviewing it. I came across as a grumpy old lady but I accentuated it for the sake of the story... I am actually quite a positive person.
Comment from Alex Rosel
I enjoyed reading this. It's kind of formulaic, but none the worse for that. The culmination is uplifting. I think it's a good entry for the contest {smiles}.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
offensively loud godawful music played til all hours of the morning -- Spag? I'd include the apostrophe in 'til. It's a contraction of "until".
It makes me want to get a 'device' myself so I can walk along the street staring at it mindlessly -- Ha, ha. I like this. It's full of attitude {smiles}.
Life's a bugger when one is a grumpy old fart, but it's those young ones who cause it. -- This is awkward. I know what you mean, but it's sort of ambiguous. "It's those young ones who caused it". Caused what? You being a "grumpy old fart"? Life in general being a "bugger"? Or what?
Last week I caught the bus to my local shopping centre to get some cat food. -- If this was mine, I'd insert a comma after "Last week".
I was quite damp. -- I'd omit the adverb "quite". "Damp" is strong enough on its own. For example, you can be "damp", "wet", or "soaked". The word "damp" is descriptive enough without an adverb.
I melted with gratitude -- I like this. It's succinct and conveys so much {smiles}.
In the confectionery aisle I had a conversation with myself -- I'd insert a comma after "In the confectionery aisle".
the airwaves right here??!! -- Personally, I don't like the "??!!" punctuation. It's akin to someone shouting louder in response to you not understanding their words the first time around.
I had a conversation with myself about whether I could afford some chocolate as a treat, but decided against buying any. -- I like like this. It's "setting up" the reader, emphasizing the significance of you dropping your spare coins in the busker's guitar case {smiles}.
Good luck with the competition {smiles}.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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I enjoyed reading this. It's kind of formulaic, but none the worse for that. The culmination is uplifting. I think it's a good entry for the contest {smiles}.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
offensively loud godawful music played til all hours of the morning -- Spag? I'd include the apostrophe in 'til. It's a contraction of "until".
It makes me want to get a 'device' myself so I can walk along the street staring at it mindlessly -- Ha, ha. I like this. It's full of attitude {smiles}.
Life's a bugger when one is a grumpy old fart, but it's those young ones who cause it. -- This is awkward. I know what you mean, but it's sort of ambiguous. "It's those young ones who caused it". Caused what? You being a "grumpy old fart"? Life in general being a "bugger"? Or what?
Last week I caught the bus to my local shopping centre to get some cat food. -- If this was mine, I'd insert a comma after "Last week".
I was quite damp. -- I'd omit the adverb "quite". "Damp" is strong enough on its own. For example, you can be "damp", "wet", or "soaked". The word "damp" is descriptive enough without an adverb.
I melted with gratitude -- I like this. It's succinct and conveys so much {smiles}.
In the confectionery aisle I had a conversation with myself -- I'd insert a comma after "In the confectionery aisle".
the airwaves right here??!! -- Personally, I don't like the "??!!" punctuation. It's akin to someone shouting louder in response to you not understanding their words the first time around.
I had a conversation with myself about whether I could afford some chocolate as a treat, but decided against buying any. -- I like like this. It's "setting up" the reader, emphasizing the significance of you dropping your spare coins in the busker's guitar case {smiles}.
Good luck with the competition {smiles}.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your thorough review, Alex. I have made some of the changes you suggest, which I found valuable advice.
Comment from tfawcus
I particularly enjoyed reading this counterbalance to the negative stories that plague the media. It seems that only bad news sells. There is so much good being done by young people that goes unreported and unrecognised. Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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I particularly enjoyed reading this counterbalance to the negative stories that plague the media. It seems that only bad news sells. There is so much good being done by young people that goes unreported and unrecognised. Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review... i was trying to redress the balance.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I can't help thinking, after reading your story, that it is the elderly who are the mostly judgemental in society and it is they who the youth have lost faith in. The moaning generation who are most ungrateful and blinkered. Your story is heartwarming and we all should be generous to each other no matter what age or status we have in life. This is an uplifting story and I wish you luck with the contest, a very touching write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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I can't help thinking, after reading your story, that it is the elderly who are the mostly judgemental in society and it is they who the youth have lost faith in. The moaning generation who are most ungrateful and blinkered. Your story is heartwarming and we all should be generous to each other no matter what age or status we have in life. This is an uplifting story and I wish you luck with the contest, a very touching write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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This story began as a pretend one with a grumpy old lady, then I read the news article (which truly happened) so it is a bit of a mash-up and not entirely my sentiments about young people. I agree with you that oldies have created situations where young people just throw up their hands. Thanks for your review.
