Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Sand through an hour glass"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
22 total reviews
Comment from Coco Jane
A relatable look at the passage of time.
Consider omitting the first paragraph. The material is interesting but does not seem to relate to our perceptions of time.
Maybe add something about when we wish time would stand still, e.g. when we are with someone we love very much.
In paragraph 7, "limitations of years" does not need a comma after it.
I like the ending.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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A relatable look at the passage of time.
Consider omitting the first paragraph. The material is interesting but does not seem to relate to our perceptions of time.
Maybe add something about when we wish time would stand still, e.g. when we are with someone we love very much.
In paragraph 7, "limitations of years" does not need a comma after it.
I like the ending.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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Thank you.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You are so right, JLR, time does do what it wants and not what we want. As a child it didn't go fast enough, now it speeds along as fast as a locomotive, no time to dawdle. I enjoyed reading this essay about time, it's a fascinating subject that no one can change! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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You are so right, JLR, time does do what it wants and not what we want. As a child it didn't go fast enough, now it speeds along as fast as a locomotive, no time to dawdle. I enjoyed reading this essay about time, it's a fascinating subject that no one can change! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 18-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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My deepest thank you. I sat one day a started with a stream of conscious thought about where time goes....?
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If you find the answer to that, you will be a billionaire!! :))
Comment from royowen
Time has always held a great attraction for me, it flies in the face of an endless universe, or elements rearranging themselves to become something else. I remember struggling with learning to tell, then one day it came, like tying one's shoelaces or seeing a beautiful sunset for the first time. Well done, beautifully written, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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Time has always held a great attraction for me, it flies in the face of an endless universe, or elements rearranging themselves to become something else. I remember struggling with learning to tell, then one day it came, like tying one's shoelaces or seeing a beautiful sunset for the first time. Well done, beautifully written, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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My sincere thank you.
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Most welcome
Comment from Tpa
I thought your text was interesting and educational, especially the beginning. I do wonder why you labeled it fictional rather than an essay. You brought up some valuable points about time, and as a senior citizen, myself, you are so right about time.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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I thought your text was interesting and educational, especially the beginning. I do wonder why you labeled it fictional rather than an essay. You brought up some valuable points about time, and as a senior citizen, myself, you are so right about time.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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You, my friend, are the first one to point I had this misdefined, I am truly grateful.
Comment from Gail Denham
Your comments on time are so right on. Time can drag or fly. Miraculous, that. What gets to me tho- is when a small grandchild says "oh time is going so quick." What?
My time when I'm busy writing or such seems to go so quickly - or when you look at a grandchild and suddenly they're 17!
Wow.
Good food for thought in this essay.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Your comments on time are so right on. Time can drag or fly. Miraculous, that. What gets to me tho- is when a small grandchild says "oh time is going so quick." What?
My time when I'm busy writing or such seems to go so quickly - or when you look at a grandchild and suddenly they're 17!
Wow.
Good food for thought in this essay.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thank you Gail.
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is an entertaining commentary. I can relate to much of what you say {smiles}.
However, in places, I think the main thrust of your opinion loses focus.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
When we look at the history of keeping time and deeper into the measurement that we commonly use today, it all began with the division of the hour into 60 minutes and of the minute into 60 seconds with the Babylonians. -- I found this a rather laborious sentence. If this was mine, I'd look to give the narrative more pace. To that end, I'd omit "that we commonly use today". The reader already knows how time is "commonly" measured today, so there's no need to tell them what they already know.
Have you ever had the experience and asked yourself, "Where did the time go?" -- I'm sure many people will be able to relate to this {smiles}.
I find myself sensing this around a holiday event, or someone's birthday (like our 3-year-old grandson's). Or in my case, as a sixty-nine-year-old, the physical changes (loss of muscle tone, turkey neck, age spots). -- Again, if this was mine, I'd look to omit redundancies. Here, you state "I find myself", and then start the next sentence with "Or [or what?] in my case". The first establishes you're referring to your own personal experiences, so the second isn't really needed.
Some of us view the passage of time perhaps in short periods (such as minutes, hours or days). Others may experience the passage of time in longer intervals (like weeks, months, or years). -- This confused me. Unless a person suffers from profound short-term memory loss, the passage of minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years are all periods of time everyone experiences.
I am sure you, too, have had periods of life when time is not flying by; time can seem to last for an eternity. -- Again, yes, I'm sure most people will be able to relate to this {smiles}.
Or a highly stressful situations; e.g., being late for a necessary appointment and stuck in bumper to bumper freeway traffic. -- In non-academic work, a semi-colon can only separate two independent clauses that are sentences in their own right. So the semi-colon isn't appropriate here since Or a highly stressful situations isn't a sentence in its own right. I'd replace the semi-colon with a comma.
Also, for the clause Or a highly stressful situations, "a" is singular, and "situations" is plural. Be careful to maintain consistency.
The impression of time duration is subjective. -- True {smiles}.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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This is an entertaining commentary. I can relate to much of what you say {smiles}.
However, in places, I think the main thrust of your opinion loses focus.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
When we look at the history of keeping time and deeper into the measurement that we commonly use today, it all began with the division of the hour into 60 minutes and of the minute into 60 seconds with the Babylonians. -- I found this a rather laborious sentence. If this was mine, I'd look to give the narrative more pace. To that end, I'd omit "that we commonly use today". The reader already knows how time is "commonly" measured today, so there's no need to tell them what they already know.
Have you ever had the experience and asked yourself, "Where did the time go?" -- I'm sure many people will be able to relate to this {smiles}.
I find myself sensing this around a holiday event, or someone's birthday (like our 3-year-old grandson's). Or in my case, as a sixty-nine-year-old, the physical changes (loss of muscle tone, turkey neck, age spots). -- Again, if this was mine, I'd look to omit redundancies. Here, you state "I find myself", and then start the next sentence with "Or [or what?] in my case". The first establishes you're referring to your own personal experiences, so the second isn't really needed.
Some of us view the passage of time perhaps in short periods (such as minutes, hours or days). Others may experience the passage of time in longer intervals (like weeks, months, or years). -- This confused me. Unless a person suffers from profound short-term memory loss, the passage of minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years are all periods of time everyone experiences.
I am sure you, too, have had periods of life when time is not flying by; time can seem to last for an eternity. -- Again, yes, I'm sure most people will be able to relate to this {smiles}.
Or a highly stressful situations; e.g., being late for a necessary appointment and stuck in bumper to bumper freeway traffic. -- In non-academic work, a semi-colon can only separate two independent clauses that are sentences in their own right. So the semi-colon isn't appropriate here since Or a highly stressful situations isn't a sentence in its own right. I'd replace the semi-colon with a comma.
Also, for the clause Or a highly stressful situations, "a" is singular, and "situations" is plural. Be careful to maintain consistency.
The impression of time duration is subjective. -- True {smiles}.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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I appreciate your thorough observations!
Comment from WryWriter
The sands of time catch all of us. I like the "learning history" aspect you put into this story. The story itself does a good job of holding reader attention and each paragraph transitioned well. Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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The sands of time catch all of us. I like the "learning history" aspect you put into this story. The story itself does a good job of holding reader attention and each paragraph transitioned well. Enjoyed!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thank you.
Comment from Mackenzie Cooper
A very creative and informative way to write this! It made my head spin thinking about how complicated time can be. It is crazy to think about the calculations and formulas that use time as a component. This was very well written and I hope you do well in the contest!!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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A very creative and informative way to write this! It made my head spin thinking about how complicated time can be. It is crazy to think about the calculations and formulas that use time as a component. This was very well written and I hope you do well in the contest!!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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My sincere thank you I am honored.
Comment from Lobber
Hi,
I love your poetical analysis of Time ... passing us by much more rapidly than when we were younger. When I was younger (I'm 72) I always thought it would be easier if time was divided into units of 10..ie 10 seconds in an hour- 10 hours in a day/ 10 days in a week- 10 weeks in a month- 10 months in a year! Would it work? / Lobber
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Hi,
I love your poetical analysis of Time ... passing us by much more rapidly than when we were younger. When I was younger (I'm 72) I always thought it would be easier if time was divided into units of 10..ie 10 seconds in an hour- 10 hours in a day/ 10 days in a week- 10 weeks in a month- 10 months in a year! Would it work? / Lobber
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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It would have created for us more days for certain
Comment from the13thpoet
Indeed, where does the time go my friend? Thank you for sharing your story, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Indeed, where does the time go my friend? Thank you for sharing your story, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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As always my sincere thank you, friend!
