You Entered My Heart
After the lonely years...12 total reviews
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your romantic, well-written poem vividly describes the speaker's experiences that left her lonely and sad--then meeting THE one
who changed all of that for her.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
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Your romantic, well-written poem vividly describes the speaker's experiences that left her lonely and sad--then meeting THE one
who changed all of that for her.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review, Janice. I appreciate your time.
Comment from Bill Schott
This love poem, You Entered My Heart, develops a relationship from brokeness to revival as new interests supplant the loneliness and breathe life into love. Nice.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
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This love poem, You Entered My Heart, develops a relationship from brokeness to revival as new interests supplant the loneliness and breathe life into love. Nice.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your spot-on review, Bill.
Comment from WalkerMan
This well-written free verse poem with occasional rhyme clearly expresses the feelings of someone, alone for too long, who unexpectedly met one who, by beginning slowly and patiently, earned enough trust to develop a bond which raises hope of a joyful future together. Superb, and aptly illustrated by the match sticks in heart shape implying impending ignition into passionate romance.
I recommend you recategorize this poem to "Romance" and mention in the Notes that it is a wish rather than reality, lest you inadvertently
deter any "candidates" who may read it.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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This well-written free verse poem with occasional rhyme clearly expresses the feelings of someone, alone for too long, who unexpectedly met one who, by beginning slowly and patiently, earned enough trust to develop a bond which raises hope of a joyful future together. Superb, and aptly illustrated by the match sticks in heart shape implying impending ignition into passionate romance.
I recommend you recategorize this poem to "Romance" and mention in the Notes that it is a wish rather than reality, lest you inadvertently
deter any "candidates" who may read it.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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Thanks for reviewing my poem. I appreciate your comments. I didn't know FS is a 'find-a-partner site' haha. It makes sense to put the poem under the Romance category, so I will do that.
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You are most welcome. Yes, though FanStory was not planned to be a romance site, how could it not be with all the raw emotion shown in the writing fellow writers can so well relate to? I'm glad my suggestion may help you. -- Mike
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Maybe that makes the site a bit dangerous... so much emotional vulnerability on show. Also, writers are clever and can invent emotions, playing with the truth. (The 'love of my life' who let me down some years ago was an artist/writer, very well versed in manipulating the truth. I, gullible romantic fool, believed him for far too long.)
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Yes, you are right, though a manipulative deceiver can appear anywhere and at any time in your life. However, as they say in lotteries, you can't win if you don't ever buy a ticket. Very few people escape experiencing at least one heartbreak in their lifetime, though such an occurrence gets harder and harder to take as we get older.
The risk on an international site like FanStory is the possibility of finding someone compatible but impossibly far away and tied to family and/or work there. (That was the theme of my post "Love at a Distance" last year.)
Still, "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Unless you are actively meeting prospects, you are better off here, where you can ask other members you know and trust what they think of someone you happen to meet here. -- Mike
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Thanks for your comments and advice, Mike. Someone would be getting a bargain with me: no family commitments whatsoever, no children.
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You are welcome. That certainly explains your first stanza. That means you would be the more logical one to move unless you find someone local. However, do not be lured to do so unless you get to know him well enough (which takes time) to be very certain you won't be giving up what comfort and security you have for something that once again will not last. From your writing, I can tell you have a fine mind and a warm heart. Those are far more important than lack of "baggage" to anyone likely to be "right." Accordingly, don't let either the clock or the mirror prompt you either to rush into something or to give up. -- Mike
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a loved one who entered our heart and there is nothing we would like more than be with them all the time, we do sometimes wonder if the love is true or not.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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A very well-written poem about a loved one who entered our heart and there is nothing we would like more than be with them all the time, we do sometimes wonder if the love is true or not.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your review!
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Following the course of life. Sometimes it takes a while to find just the right partner. Sounds like you may well have made it and the lonely years are over.
The symbolism of the heart surrounded by matches illustrates the heart being set on fire.
Whether true or fictional the poem speaks of many life patterns.
Good use of occasional rhyme and near rhyme.
Warmly,
Juliette
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Following the course of life. Sometimes it takes a while to find just the right partner. Sounds like you may well have made it and the lonely years are over.
The symbolism of the heart surrounded by matches illustrates the heart being set on fire.
Whether true or fictional the poem speaks of many life patterns.
Good use of occasional rhyme and near rhyme.
Warmly,
Juliette
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much form this warm review, Juliette.
Comment from Lobber
Hello. One should not have lonely years Nor have to play for long...glad you hooked up with someone - life as two can be more joyful for some - Lobber
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Hello. One should not have lonely years Nor have to play for long
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Well... I'm still waiting, it's been a while since my last man left, so this poem is made up wishful thinking.
Comment from WryWriter
What a lovely poem of love found after such loneliness! Excellent word choices and placement makes this poem a delight to read. Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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What a lovely poem of love found after such loneliness! Excellent word choices and placement makes this poem a delight to read. Enjoyed!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much for this nice review!
Comment from Darlene Franklin
iujyhThis reads as autobigraphical? What a lovely poem of love and longing past the bloom of youth. I expected it to read "You lead me safely along love's path." "You lead me to safety along love's path" suggests an entirely different meaning, love leading you to a secure place.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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iujyhThis reads as autobigraphical? What a lovely poem of love and longing past the bloom of youth. I expected it to read "You lead me safely along love's path." "You lead me to safety along love's path" suggests an entirely different meaning, love leading you to a secure place.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thanks for reviewing my poem. It is written how I imagine finding a true love might feel in later years. I am without a partner now and would like someone in my life. Being led to a secure future of companionship is what made me write that line the way I did.
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You're welcome
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You're welcome
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
What a sweet and tender post on love and those moments when you finally find that one who makes you feel allll the most magical things in life! So romantic and poignant! It makes a great contest contender --
One small note:
1.) I think you mean:
--> Now you warm (my) whole soul
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Dear Mystery Writer,
What a sweet and tender post on love and those moments when you finally find that one who makes you feel allll the most magical things in life! So romantic and poignant! It makes a great contest contender --
One small note:
1.) I think you mean:
--> Now you warm (my) whole soul
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thanks for your lovely review... I just made that change, it snuck past my tired eyes.
Comment from mrsmajor
This is such a beautifully written poem, life changes, when we least expect it...Love doesn't show its face in everyone we meet, but patience and longing will be answered...I met my husband at an early age, he'd pull my braids, try to hold my hand, until we finally married, (much later lol) and had almost thirty years, before he left us in final sleep, what a joy to finally know what love is all about...No matter how long it takes.
Did you mean "by whole soul" or "my whole soul"..sometimes there's special reasons for the use of a word, so excuse me if I'm not correct in how I read that line.
I believe this is a well written poem using free verse, with some rhyming, and I enjoyed it very much..
Thanks for sharing this with us...made me think of the only man I ever really cared about....or loved...God Bless
Warmly,
Victoria.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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This is such a beautifully written poem, life changes, when we least expect it...Love doesn't show its face in everyone we meet, but patience and longing will be answered...I met my husband at an early age, he'd pull my braids, try to hold my hand, until we finally married, (much later lol) and had almost thirty years, before he left us in final sleep, what a joy to finally know what love is all about...No matter how long it takes.
Did you mean "by whole soul" or "my whole soul"..sometimes there's special reasons for the use of a word, so excuse me if I'm not correct in how I read that line.
I believe this is a well written poem using free verse, with some rhyming, and I enjoyed it very much..
Thanks for sharing this with us...made me think of the only man I ever really cared about....or loved...God Bless
Warmly,
Victoria.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2019
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Thanks for sharing something of your personal love match; although it is sad he is no longer with you I am pleased my poem brought happy memories back to you.
Isn't it odd how we can read our poems over and over and see no mistakes when it is there staring others in the face!! Thanks for catching that random 'b'.
You're very welcome, it was my pleasure...yes indeed, your poem made me feel grateful that I did have so many years with my husband. Memories can bring a smile to one's face, so remembering him, and his tactics still can make me smile...I was pretty sure you meant "My"..
Once I had to thank a reader for catching something. I had written the same line twice...after reading it over and over again...I think things like that happens to all of us...(but a whole line!!)...lol
Warmly,
Victoria
