I See
What I see when I look at you...49 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Awe, JLR, this is a beautifully written declaration of love. The image of the unseen woman comes through so very strong. What a lovely poem. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Awe, JLR, this is a beautifully written declaration of love. The image of the unseen woman comes through so very strong. What a lovely poem. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:))
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Ulla, you are too kind. I enjoyed the challenge of this poetic style.
Comment from djeckert
A nicely done rendering of the person that you see. Surely an honoring tribute to that person( whoever it is) A fine entry to the contest. Best of luck to you for this entry. God surely blesses
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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A nicely done rendering of the person that you see. Surely an honoring tribute to that person( whoever it is) A fine entry to the contest. Best of luck to you for this entry. God surely blesses
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Thank you, and HE does and she does too!
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Ultimately this is a romantic and beautiful piece of writing. I like the format and definitely got that the sense here was sight. Love your descriptive recollection ... good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Ultimately this is a romantic and beautiful piece of writing. I like the format and definitely got that the sense here was sight. Love your descriptive recollection ... good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Kiwi, thanks!
Comment from Susan Larson
When you start out with "My eyes consume your presence" it really hooks the reader and has him/her hunger to know what you, the poet are feasting upon. I love your varied ways of expressing sight: visually, witness, watch, admire, track, a real smorgasbord of synonyms. I'd give you a six, but they've all been consumed ; )
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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When you start out with "My eyes consume your presence" it really hooks the reader and has him/her hunger to know what you, the poet are feasting upon. I love your varied ways of expressing sight: visually, witness, watch, admire, track, a real smorgasbord of synonyms. I'd give you a six, but they've all been consumed ; )
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Susan, you are a dear! Thank you for reviewing and commenting on my piece.
Comment from dmt1967
This is really repetitive. The 'I'S' did it for me as every sentence started with them. I think try and cut some out and it will sound better, in my opinion. eg. My eyes consume your presence sitting across from me,
I delight in seeing your beaming smile,
to see radiance with your skin aglow,
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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This is really repetitive. The 'I'S' did it for me as every sentence started with them. I think try and cut some out and it will sound better, in my opinion. eg. My eyes consume your presence sitting across from me,
I delight in seeing your beaming smile,
to see radiance with your skin aglow,
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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thanks
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Mystery poet. I gave you your 5th vote. Your poem is the only one that caught my interest.
A declaration of love for the woman that clearly has captured this man's heart.
I think sight is the most valuable sense we have too....you listed a whole bunch of beautiful things one would have missed without it...beaming smile, glowing skin, twinkling green ( my favourite colour) eyes...etc.
My all-time favourite observation is :
"I see lips moisten with the tip of the tongue...."
The perfect art choice to illustrate your lovely poem....it must have taken you some time to find it...it really complements your entry.
I wish you all the best in the competition.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Ciao Mystery poet. I gave you your 5th vote. Your poem is the only one that caught my interest.
A declaration of love for the woman that clearly has captured this man's heart.
I think sight is the most valuable sense we have too....you listed a whole bunch of beautiful things one would have missed without it...beaming smile, glowing skin, twinkling green ( my favourite colour) eyes...etc.
My all-time favourite observation is :
"I see lips moisten with the tip of the tongue...."
The perfect art choice to illustrate your lovely poem....it must have taken you some time to find it...it really complements your entry.
I wish you all the best in the competition.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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I am truly honored by your review and thoughtful comments. Thank you!
Comment from Sanku
That is very romantic and touching ,the way the husband is visually enjoying the her face ,each contours of her face gives him such pleasure
I think the woman is very lucky.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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That is very romantic and touching ,the way the husband is visually enjoying the her face ,each contours of her face gives him such pleasure
I think the woman is very lucky.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Sanku, thank you.
Comment from Raul1
I think that this poem has a very good chance of winning the contest! I like how you structured this poem. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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I think that this poem has a very good chance of winning the contest! I like how you structured this poem. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Raul, thank you.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I like the descriptive and colorful wording you use to express the sense of sight. The way you describe every intricate detail of what you're looking at is really good. This is great work and I enjoyed reading this. Well done!
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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I like the descriptive and colorful wording you use to express the sense of sight. The way you describe every intricate detail of what you're looking at is really good. This is great work and I enjoyed reading this. Well done!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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My friend, Jeffrey! Thank you, I always value your reviews.
Comment from Aussie
Good luck with your five senses entry. Eyes are the mirror of the soul. This is a delightful poem about seeing love in your romantic soul. I liked your poem so much.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Good luck with your five senses entry. Eyes are the mirror of the soul. This is a delightful poem about seeing love in your romantic soul. I liked your poem so much.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
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Aussie, my sincere thank you, always!
