I See
What I see when I look at you...49 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
Yep there is a lot to be said about sight, for me personally, the most important of senses. Imagine not being able to experience everything you have just offered up... no thank you : )) Excellent offering for the prompt, good luck!
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2019
  |
Yep there is a lot to be said about sight, for me personally, the most important of senses. Imagine not being able to experience everything you have just offered up... no thank you : )) Excellent offering for the prompt, good luck!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2019
-
Thank you, sir!
Comment from Eve Vasa
Hi, this certainly meets the requirements of the prompt, I've seen a few of these today, they're quite interesting.
This poems strength for me was all the words you used 'to see'. That was clever, and the poem needs it, because 'I see' all the time can become jarring. But 'I am witness' "I delight', stopped it from being too repetitious.
Nice job with this and thanks for sharing your poetry at FS today, cheers, Eve.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2019
|
Hi, this certainly meets the requirements of the prompt, I've seen a few of these today, they're quite interesting.
This poems strength for me was all the words you used 'to see'. That was clever, and the poem needs it, because 'I see' all the time can become jarring. But 'I am witness' "I delight', stopped it from being too repetitious.
Nice job with this and thanks for sharing your poetry at FS today, cheers, Eve.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2019
-
Eve, thanks.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Your sense of sight serves you well when you are blessed with the vision of the person you love, as you succinctly describe the image you see. A lovely treatise. Your artwork is a good connection.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
|
Your sense of sight serves you well when you are blessed with the vision of the person you love, as you succinctly describe the image you see. A lovely treatise. Your artwork is a good connection.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
-
Raffaelina, I am Blessed.. thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from June Sargent
Lovely tribute to the one you love and a great example of a free verse on the sense of sight. It flowed naturally and drew us into your world and your vision. Thanks for sharing. Should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
|
Lovely tribute to the one you love and a great example of a free verse on the sense of sight. It flowed naturally and drew us into your world and your vision. Thanks for sharing. Should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
-
June, thank you.
Comment from Venessa Lee-Estevez
This poem is smoldering and sexy. I think most of us have felt that way about someone at least once in our lives. You captured the 5 senses perfectly.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
|
This poem is smoldering and sexy. I think most of us have felt that way about someone at least once in our lives. You captured the 5 senses perfectly.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
-
Thank you.
Comment from godlucifer
they say the eyes can play tricks on your mind. but when it comes to love it is love at first sight. you relay the sight sense with a incredibly strong emotion about the eyes. your poem was truly created with a creativity. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
|
they say the eyes can play tricks on your mind. but when it comes to love it is love at first sight. you relay the sight sense with a incredibly strong emotion about the eyes. your poem was truly created with a creativity. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
Comment Written 03-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
-
Your words are so kind thank you.
Comment from royowen
When writing about the senses, it's very hard to write about just one, mainly because the others come into play when one beholds a visual visions, the other senses seem to be actively engaged also. A beautifully written free verse my friend, a good entry in this contest, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
|
When writing about the senses, it's very hard to write about just one, mainly because the others come into play when one beholds a visual visions, the other senses seem to be actively engaged also. A beautifully written free verse my friend, a good entry in this contest, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 03-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
-
Thank you, Roy! May work week be filled with abundant Joy!
-
You too
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I think this is a great way to explore the sense of sight with a variety of action words and synonyms to take the place of the word 'see' for keeping the reader's interest. It is a great poem full of imagery and details such as 'tiny wrinkles as your face grins,' or 'the flaring of wisps of hair,' or 'that little tilt of your face' or 'the very way you stand so tall.' I like the way you use the poetic device of repetition in starting every line with "I" (verb). I think the only thing I would change is put a comma after 'twinkling" in line 5, and change 'that' to 'who' in the very last line. Very nice post.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
|
I think this is a great way to explore the sense of sight with a variety of action words and synonyms to take the place of the word 'see' for keeping the reader's interest. It is a great poem full of imagery and details such as 'tiny wrinkles as your face grins,' or 'the flaring of wisps of hair,' or 'that little tilt of your face' or 'the very way you stand so tall.' I like the way you use the poetic device of repetition in starting every line with "I" (verb). I think the only thing I would change is put a comma after 'twinkling" in line 5, and change 'that' to 'who' in the very last line. Very nice post.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
-
You are among one of the best reviewers on FS! Your strong and honest input only helps me improve. For this, I am so grateful!
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have met the prompt requirements in this beautiful, vividly-descriptive piece. You have stuck with one sense and described what you see, the appeal of her physical traits.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
|
You have met the prompt requirements in this beautiful, vividly-descriptive piece. You have stuck with one sense and described what you see, the appeal of her physical traits.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
-
Thank you.
Comment from Rmocruz
You masterfully conformed to the writing prompt with this well penned
romantic free verse.Truly a promising contest entry, with an interesting
visual art selection.
Well crafted!
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
|
You masterfully conformed to the writing prompt with this well penned
romantic free verse.Truly a promising contest entry, with an interesting
visual art selection.
Well crafted!
Comment Written 03-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
-
Thank you!
