The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 99 "A Slip of the Tongue"A Novel
22 total reviews
Comment from Sissy
Hi Tony,
Having come in at Chapter 99(!), I really can't dare to comment on plot. However, I think you do a super job describing the setting for us in the restaurant. The reader really gets a feel for the room and the atmosphere. It's not often writers take the time to let us experience the surroundings.
Great job all the way around. Your dialog was seamless, and each character 'speaks' in such a way you can figure out who is talking. None 'sound' the same. The humor in this chapter and the circling back around to 'slipped out' was great.
Really clean writing, as well. During my second read, I stopped only on one thing (and it is minor, your call, but I thought I'd point it out):
She was wearing an embroidered salwar kameez like the one Helen had selected in Lahore (consider just 'she wore'. More active phrasing.)
Again, great chapter! Thanks for the lead-in from the last chapter and the list of characters.
Take care,
Sissy
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Hi Tony,
Having come in at Chapter 99(!), I really can't dare to comment on plot. However, I think you do a super job describing the setting for us in the restaurant. The reader really gets a feel for the room and the atmosphere. It's not often writers take the time to let us experience the surroundings.
Great job all the way around. Your dialog was seamless, and each character 'speaks' in such a way you can figure out who is talking. None 'sound' the same. The humor in this chapter and the circling back around to 'slipped out' was great.
Really clean writing, as well. During my second read, I stopped only on one thing (and it is minor, your call, but I thought I'd point it out):
She was wearing an embroidered salwar kameez like the one Helen had selected in Lahore (consider just 'she wore'. More active phrasing.)
Again, great chapter! Thanks for the lead-in from the last chapter and the list of characters.
Take care,
Sissy
Comment Written 05-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Thanks very much for your review, Sissy, and your useful comments. I appreciate your dropping in to read a chapter at this late stage and I'm delighted that you enjoyed it. I agree with you about 'She was wearing'/'She wore', and have made the change.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is one of your best chapters, Tony.
-It flowed well with good description, and
dialogue with Bisto, Kayla, and Charles.
-Bisto is such a wonderful character; I feel like I know him.
-He strikes me as a kind, gentle man, and a very good friend.
-He certainly chose a great place for Charles to recover.
-I like the inclusion of the "Stone walls" quote; I remember
that very well, and early on in my education, too.
It sticks with you for some reason.
-When Charles says "We have to find Helen," it is
very touching and shows how much he loves her.
-You even bring in the "stone wall"
image again to reinforce the theme.
-Bisto is also very resourceful, and shares interesting
information, but accidentally shared a little too much.
-The meal must have appealed to Charles, as he
had the wits to create a very good diversion.
-Charles is also quite the actor!
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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-This is one of your best chapters, Tony.
-It flowed well with good description, and
dialogue with Bisto, Kayla, and Charles.
-Bisto is such a wonderful character; I feel like I know him.
-He strikes me as a kind, gentle man, and a very good friend.
-He certainly chose a great place for Charles to recover.
-I like the inclusion of the "Stone walls" quote; I remember
that very well, and early on in my education, too.
It sticks with you for some reason.
-When Charles says "We have to find Helen," it is
very touching and shows how much he loves her.
-You even bring in the "stone wall"
image again to reinforce the theme.
-Bisto is also very resourceful, and shares interesting
information, but accidentally shared a little too much.
-The meal must have appealed to Charles, as he
had the wits to create a very good diversion.
-Charles is also quite the actor!
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
Comment Written 05-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Six stars and a clean sheet! You've made my day.
Lovely comments, too. Most affirming.
All the best, Tony
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You are very welcome and deserving, Tony. I was happy to have made your day! No Kerfuffles for you.😊��
Comment from Iza Deleanu
As usual a very well written chapter that keeps the reader entertain and wondering for more. And again one of the universal truth, bribe the way:) but don't make it too obvious because "having to make difficult decisions for the greater good."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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As usual a very well written chapter that keeps the reader entertain and wondering for more. And again one of the universal truth, bribe the way:) but don't make it too obvious because "having to make difficult decisions for the greater good."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Iza. I appreciate your comments and your continued support. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh, those slips of the tongue that reveal more that should have been. Charles was quick on his feet to save the day.
Great job revealing your characters' personalities through their conversation and actions.
Excellent cliff-hanger, now we have to see where that slip of the tongue will lead us.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Oh, those slips of the tongue that reveal more that should have been. Charles was quick on his feet to save the day.
Great job revealing your characters' personalities through their conversation and actions.
Excellent cliff-hanger, now we have to see where that slip of the tongue will lead us.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Thanks, W.J., for your review and continued interest in this saga. Much appreciated, as always. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So the plot thickens. I can't wait for more. I am pretty sure not hunting will be happening. LOL I still can't wait to get more information about Helen. Just what is this lady up too. LOL
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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So the plot thickens. I can't wait for more. I am pretty sure not hunting will be happening. LOL I still can't wait to get more information about Helen. Just what is this lady up too. LOL
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Thanks very much for your continued interest and support, Barbara. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
The dialogue here was nice and crisp, I think the counterpoint went back and forth like a good ping pong game. You bring out Charles' travel writer instincts again as he dissects the menu, the food, and the décor. You're weaving Kayla back into the scheme of things here, which is fine, I think; a good complication as we now have both the sisters, and Mdme. Durand and Alain involved in this plot. Who will carry it out? You have Charles tottering around here at the end; has he been poisoned? Lots of intrigue unfolding and a mysterious path forward. estory
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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The dialogue here was nice and crisp, I think the counterpoint went back and forth like a good ping pong game. You bring out Charles' travel writer instincts again as he dissects the menu, the food, and the décor. You're weaving Kayla back into the scheme of things here, which is fine, I think; a good complication as we now have both the sisters, and Mdme. Durand and Alain involved in this plot. Who will carry it out? You have Charles tottering around here at the end; has he been poisoned? Lots of intrigue unfolding and a mysterious path forward. estory
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Thanks for your supportive comments. No poisoning at this stage, just a diversion to save Bisto from having to answer Kayla's question.
All good wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Lots of things seem to just slip out in this story. :)
The intrigue continues with some in the know and some in the dark
and many in grave danger. I doubt The Lion got his name from sleeping most of the time, so dicey times are ahead for Helen and Kayla.
Bamforth has an ulterior motive. Don't they all. I wonder what that could be.
Another chapter well done.
Robert
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Hello Tony,
Lots of things seem to just slip out in this story. :)
The intrigue continues with some in the know and some in the dark
and many in grave danger. I doubt The Lion got his name from sleeping most of the time, so dicey times are ahead for Helen and Kayla.
Bamforth has an ulterior motive. Don't they all. I wonder what that could be.
Another chapter well done.
Robert
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Robert, for the luminous stars to guide me, if not to the Holy Child, then at least to a satisfactory ending. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I liked the way you showed Charles's vulnerability with the embroidered salwar kameez bringing memories of Helen and then the reminder from Bisto. An interesting ending with Bisto's comment about Bamforth slipping out. Y just wondered if - easy it would be for her (to) succumb again??
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2019
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I liked the way you showed Charles's vulnerability with the embroidered salwar kameez bringing memories of Helen and then the reminder from Bisto. An interesting ending with Bisto's comment about Bamforth slipping out. Y just wondered if - easy it would be for her (to) succumb again??
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2019
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Very many thanks for your continued support and kind words, Valda. Thanks, too, for spotting the typo. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from lyenochka
I'm glad you included some from the previous post so that we could hear the echo of the jocular repeated phrase. Great job with the description of the foods.
One comment:
"Steady on, Charles. Best..." I was surprised that it was Kayla who said this because that paragraph had more about Bisto. It also sounded to me more like something Bisto would say to Charles.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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I'm glad you included some from the previous post so that we could hear the echo of the jocular repeated phrase. Great job with the description of the foods.
One comment:
"Steady on, Charles. Best..." I was surprised that it was Kayla who said this because that paragraph had more about Bisto. It also sounded to me more like something Bisto would say to Charles.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Helen. I think you?re right about that bit of dialogue. Since it doesn?t really affect anything else, I?ve changed it to Bisto.
Comment from Cindy Warren
I can imagine his body is going to be a little uncooperative for the next few days. He probably should stick to clear fluids. It was quick thinking, tho. Did Bistro slip on purpose? He doesn't seem that dumb.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2019
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I can imagine his body is going to be a little uncooperative for the next few days. He probably should stick to clear fluids. It was quick thinking, tho. Did Bistro slip on purpose? He doesn't seem that dumb.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2019
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Thanks for your comments, Cindy. I?m not sure how bright Bisto is. Probably brighter than he sometimes seems. He acquired the nickname whilst in the RAF with Charles. The chaps on the squadron named him after the well known English brand of gravy, rich and thick.
