The Wishing Stone
One last wish17 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I thought it might have been your first story Christine. But what a beauty, if it would be possible to have a wishing stone, what if she had wished for a longer time? it would be more complex, but I think the reality would be difficult to address. So it worked out perfectly with the whole wish being complete. Well thought out my friend, a marvellous story, A good one for Christmas, well done and merry Christmas, blessings, Roy.
Typo : Loneliness overtook he(r) emotions. 2; she felt a (teat) tear trickle...3: James became a plaster(er) 4: told her about Jack('s) accident. 5: "Yes, I know(,) no. 5; not as good as nan(')s spuds...
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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I thought it might have been your first story Christine. But what a beauty, if it would be possible to have a wishing stone, what if she had wished for a longer time? it would be more complex, but I think the reality would be difficult to address. So it worked out perfectly with the whole wish being complete. Well thought out my friend, a marvellous story, A good one for Christmas, well done and merry Christmas, blessings, Roy.
Typo : Loneliness overtook he(r) emotions. 2; she felt a (teat) tear trickle...3: James became a plaster(er) 4: told her about Jack('s) accident. 5: "Yes, I know(,) no. 5; not as good as nan(')s spuds...
Comment Written 25-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Hi Roy, Oh my well my first story and Thanks so much for your review and help. I have been back this morning to edit it and hopefully it reads much better now. I was a little anxious to get it out before the contest closed so I probably rushed it a little and it was late last night when I posted it after a big Christmas day. We had a terrific day here up with my son and his wife in Border town so not far from you LOL. I hope you and Elaine and family had fun And yes Cricket and Bocchi were played after lunch LOL. Many Thanks again Cheers and hugs and Merry Christmas Chris
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We?re up with our elder daughter and family in Brisbane, he a wonderful day, much cooler than Adelaide, great job with the story Christine, watching the cricket up here. Bless you
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It is nice and hot here 35 degree and I love it had a soak in the outside Spa and a 'little sunbake' LOL Enjoy Roy
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Like Adelaide, well done
Comment from Sandra Ludwick
Thank you for sharing your thoughts through your story. For your first attempt, it was wonderful. I really enjoyed reading it. One suggestion is to have it edited. You have spelling and grammar errors.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts through your story. For your first attempt, it was wonderful. I really enjoyed reading it. One suggestion is to have it edited. You have spelling and grammar errors.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Hi Sandra, Thanks very much for your review and I have revised and edited this morning so I hope it reads a lot better now. I did put it through a grammar and spelling check before I posted but of course they don't always pick things up and there may still be ones to fix however I appreciate your review and comments and pleased you enjoyed my story. Cheers and Merry Christmas Christine
Comment from Henry King
Chrissy, this is an excellent Christmas story. You need to go through it line by line. I know it is difficult to read your own work critically, but it must be done. It is told well, but it has too many punctuation errors.
A glaring one occurred during the dialog with the police officers. The Sentence that begins, "Why? He was only going ...".
Quotation marks are either missing at the beginning or end of many of the dialogs.
Possession is not shown several times. The first one occurred in, I believe the 2nd paragraph, you typed "... became Jacks tradition, so ..." The sentence right after that error you typed "... a teat trickled ... ".
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Chrissy, this is an excellent Christmas story. You need to go through it line by line. I know it is difficult to read your own work critically, but it must be done. It is told well, but it has too many punctuation errors.
A glaring one occurred during the dialog with the police officers. The Sentence that begins, "Why? He was only going ...".
Quotation marks are either missing at the beginning or end of many of the dialogs.
Possession is not shown several times. The first one occurred in, I believe the 2nd paragraph, you typed "... became Jacks tradition, so ..." The sentence right after that error you typed "... a teat trickled ... ".
Comment Written 25-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Hi Henry, Thank you so mich for reading and reviewing my Christmas story And yes, This morning I have gone through it line by line and made many correction, so hopefully it reads a lot better, but I am sure there will be others to fix up. I really appreciate your advice Hope you had a great Christmas and so from me Merry Christmas . Cheers Christine
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Christine, you are very welcome. And, A very merry Christmas to you. This busy family visiting day is coming to a close here in this high arid desert. When the sun goes down, it gets cold.
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We are having some lovely hot weather here in Australia I am in South Australia at the moment with my sons family. I know that our desert regions in central Australia can ger darn hot in the day and cold at night. Is is Chritmas day there today? We are now having boxing day here on the 26th Dec Enjoy the festivities Cheers Christine
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Chrissy, it's the 26th mid-morning Boxing Day and Kwanzaa are being celebrated by some. The elevation from sea level is 1,219 meters at my home. The city is divided by a mountain twice as high. We are directly on the U.S. and Mexican border. The combined population of this tri-city area, El Paso, Texas, Juarez, Chihuahua and Las Cruces, New Mexico is 2.5 million. What separates the three cities beside the Political boundary is the Rio Grande, River.
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Good morning Henry It is 6.30am on the 27 th here in Border town South Australia and going to be hot. My husband and me are going camping today hopefully under a shady tree as the Temp is going to be over 40 degrees . You location sound very interesting it would be busy too Our home town in Ballarat Victoria in Australia has a population of around 110 .000 people Enjoy you day Cheers Christine
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Yes it is interesting and historic. El Paso is the 2nd oldest European settled City in the U.S. and San Augustine, Florida is the 1st. Both were settled by Spaniards. El Paso was established as a stopping point to Northern New Spain. That's what it has been for over 400 years, a way station. Besides the North and South travel between Mexico and the rest of North America, it is the half way point for rail and highway travel across the Southern U.S.
Comment from Bill Pinder
Great job at this Christmas story and expresses a lot of good memories and positive family traditions expressed with loving feelings. Sounds like you live in a different country. Merry Christmas!
Bill
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Great job at this Christmas story and expresses a lot of good memories and positive family traditions expressed with loving feelings. Sounds like you live in a different country. Merry Christmas!
Bill
Comment Written 25-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Hi Bill, Thanks you so much for reading and reviewing my Christmas story and yes I live in Ballarat Victoria Australia so we have a few difference in speech etc here. many thanks and Merry Christmas to you Cheers Christine
Comment from JLR
Dear writer, what a wonderfully delightful, appropriate Christmas story and to deliver it on Christmas Day, and to have this as your first! You should feel very accomplished, Thank you for stepping out with your new writing and Merry Christmas.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Dear writer, what a wonderfully delightful, appropriate Christmas story and to deliver it on Christmas Day, and to have this as your first! You should feel very accomplished, Thank you for stepping out with your new writing and Merry Christmas.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Hi JLR Thanks so much for your review and I have done some revision today and hopefully it reads a little better but enjoyed getting this out on Christmas day . we had a great celebration and yes also played cricket LOL cheers and Merry Christmas to you Christine
Comment from beizanten
An attention capturing title and beautiful picture. A very good and intriguing first paragraph. An engaging and sad story, the emotion flow well. You have done well
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reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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An attention capturing title and beautiful picture. A very good and intriguing first paragraph. An engaging and sad story, the emotion flow well. You have done well
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Hi beizanten Thanks for your review and I am so pleased you enjoyed my first real story here on FS .A little editing needed today so I will improve LOL I do apreciate your positive review Cheers and Merry Christmas Christine.
Comment from Sugarray77
I enjoyed reading this very well-written story Christine!! So many people will identify with Joan and want one more day to share with a loved one who has passed on. Your plot was well developed and the characters believable with identifiable traits. So well done.
Melissa
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reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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I enjoyed reading this very well-written story Christine!! So many people will identify with Joan and want one more day to share with a loved one who has passed on. Your plot was well developed and the characters believable with identifiable traits. So well done.
Melissa
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Hi Melissa, Thanks so much for my first review for my first attempt at a longer story For some reason this just came to me and ai needed to write it. Loosly based on my family my Dad passed away 8 years ago and we all miss him especiall Mum so I drew on many experiences I have had I have re editied this morning a bit more time as it was a little rushed out so we shall see and I hope you all had a lovely day yesterday and once again Merry Christmas my dear FS friend Cheers Chris
