Tragic Torch of Tribulation
Dedicated to firefighters and animal rescuers.21 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
This is timely and touching, my friend. Good use of T sounds. Strong emotional pitch. I love the message. Fine alliteration of C, S and T. Good flow. Fine presentation.
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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This is timely and touching, my friend. Good use of T sounds. Strong emotional pitch. I love the message. Fine alliteration of C, S and T. Good flow. Fine presentation.
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thanks for reviewing!
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:-)))
Comment from Pantygynt
It is unusual for these short-form poems to say anything really worthwhile, with the exception of the Japanese varieties. But this one pays tribute to some remarkable work currently going on in Australia, in the face of terrible danger. And this one invokes some interesting rhyme and slant rhyme into the bargain.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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It is unusual for these short-form poems to say anything really worthwhile, with the exception of the Japanese varieties. But this one pays tribute to some remarkable work currently going on in Australia, in the face of terrible danger. And this one invokes some interesting rhyme and slant rhyme into the bargain.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thanks for your review - much appreciated.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Your poem is poignant and there is much caring in these words, these fires are causing havoc in Australia. I love your artwork Lisa, your poem brings awareness to the world here, love Dolly x
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Your poem is poignant and there is much caring in these words, these fires are causing havoc in Australia. I love your artwork Lisa, your poem brings awareness to the world here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
Comment from June Sargent
They do deserve a lot of credit for what they do every single day. Risking their lives to save others, including animals, is noble. Thank you for highlighting these courageous men and women.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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They do deserve a lot of credit for what they do every single day. Risking their lives to save others, including animals, is noble. Thank you for highlighting these courageous men and women.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you! I appreciate your review.
Comment from Alex Rosel
First off, I really like your poem. Along with the picture you've selected, it taps into powerful emotions, and that is one of any writer's greatest achievements.
Having said that, I do think the contest's remit is a bit confused. Is "time" an object? Certainly, the word is a noun. (And I see there has been some discussion about the remit.)
Good luck with your entry in the voting booth {smiles}.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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First off, I really like your poem. Along with the picture you've selected, it taps into powerful emotions, and that is one of any writer's greatest achievements.
Having said that, I do think the contest's remit is a bit confused. Is "time" an object? Certainly, the word is a noun. (And I see there has been some discussion about the remit.)
Good luck with your entry in the voting booth {smiles}.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you.
I think the problem in the contest's definition was to use the word 'object'. Time is an intangible object, I guess. That's why I decided to use a Torch as my T-word: a burning torch is definitely an object; you can see it, smell it, and feel it, as any koala will tell you.
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Yes, I was not questioning the content of your poem. I was just thinking aloud about the contest's remit. (Perhaps a review was the wrong place to do that!)
Comment from Praveen J.
Wow, I'm blown away Lisa. That checks so many boxes. I love it. It is topical and poignant and it rhymes too ! The plight of the koalas is well captured in that picture. I had semi naked ladies on my entry and you have a semi naked man in yours. I'm torn !
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Wow, I'm blown away Lisa. That checks so many boxes. I love it. It is topical and poignant and it rhymes too ! The plight of the koalas is well captured in that picture. I had semi naked ladies on my entry and you have a semi naked man in yours. I'm torn !
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you for your high praise, Praveen.
I found a photo of an even more undressed fireman with a koala, but it looked very staged. Nice eye candy though.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This fits in well with the 20 and the letter T requirements, and you have chosen an an interesting humanitarian subject, LisaMay, that should interest mant of the readers. Good luck in the contest;
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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This fits in well with the 20 and the letter T requirements, and you have chosen an an interesting humanitarian subject, LisaMay, that should interest mant of the readers. Good luck in the contest;
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This was incredibly heart-warming, as I used to really, really like koala bears in middle school particularly. Great job adhering to that prompt's 20 syllable count requirement. You have the 't' alliteration with Tribulation's torch in line 1, and the 'c' alliteration in line 4 with 'caring, common' (I added a comma). Great photo. Thanks for the author notes.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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This was incredibly heart-warming, as I used to really, really like koala bears in middle school particularly. Great job adhering to that prompt's 20 syllable count requirement. You have the 't' alliteration with Tribulation's torch in line 1, and the 'c' alliteration in line 4 with 'caring, common' (I added a comma). Great photo. Thanks for the author notes.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thanks for your review. Koalas are especially endearing creatures.
I did not think there needed to be a comma after caring because I think of common ground as a unit, and therefore 'caring' is the only word describing it, not caring and common both describing ground.
Comment from JudyE
The situation in the fire-ravaged areas must be so daunting with so much death and destruction everywhere. And it seems it's not getting any better yet.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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The situation in the fire-ravaged areas must be so daunting with so much death and destruction everywhere. And it seems it's not getting any better yet.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Quite a few of my friends are affected by evacuations on the NSW south coast, and Canberra's air quality is dangerous.
Comment from lyenochka
It's heart-breaking all that we hear on the news about half a billion animals which have lost lives. Thanks for sharing about this man caring for the koalas. Your poem is really well done. Best wishes in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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It's heart-breaking all that we hear on the news about half a billion animals which have lost lives. Thanks for sharing about this man caring for the koalas. Your poem is really well done. Best wishes in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you!
