Changes
a short horror story16 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This definitely was disturbing in a short space! Too bad Watson's hallucinations led to a reduction in the, uh, population on that planet. All of those sensorial improvements would definitely scare the human who was not affected, all right. Last line was clever. Congrats on the third place.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
  |
This definitely was disturbing in a short space! Too bad Watson's hallucinations led to a reduction in the, uh, population on that planet. All of those sensorial improvements would definitely scare the human who was not affected, all right. Last line was clever. Congrats on the third place.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
-
Thank you, CC, for the exceptional review. Bill
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I enjoyed it. But I was left wanting more. More story and more details. I kept looking to see if this was part of a book because everything came at me so quickly. I think you want to give this a little more "meat". Introduce us to where your characters are. Show us what is happening. And develop the story from there. But this does show terrific creativity. Your imagination is amazing. I want more but that's not an option in this short story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
  |
I enjoyed it. But I was left wanting more. More story and more details. I kept looking to see if this was part of a book because everything came at me so quickly. I think you want to give this a little more "meat". Introduce us to where your characters are. Show us what is happening. And develop the story from there. But this does show terrific creativity. Your imagination is amazing. I want more but that's not an option in this short story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
-
Thanks,Michael. Short and sweet is my forte. You?re right, of course.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
I've really enjoyed reading this wonderful story. You write it so beautifully and executed your thoughts in an admirable way. I hope everyone will get the meanings you conveyed. I hope you'll win this contest. Keep it up, wishing you luck.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
|
I've really enjoyed reading this wonderful story. You write it so beautifully and executed your thoughts in an admirable way. I hope everyone will get the meanings you conveyed. I hope you'll win this contest. Keep it up, wishing you luck.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
-
Thanks for the generic review.
Comment from papa55mike
Don't you hate it when that happens? This reads like a Bently Little story. What a wonderfully written story and I love the picture.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
|
Don't you hate it when that happens? This reads like a Bently Little story. What a wonderfully written story and I love the picture.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
-
Thanks, ppmike
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Bill, a fabulous Friday to you, I hope this finds you well. Let me start by saying WTF? LOL Poor Watson! I'm just reading along, thinking this guy might be developing superpowers or something but he just cannibalized his friend. That's pretty horrific in my book. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
|
Hello Bill, a fabulous Friday to you, I hope this finds you well. Let me start by saying WTF? LOL Poor Watson! I'm just reading along, thinking this guy might be developing superpowers or something but he just cannibalized his friend. That's pretty horrific in my book. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
-
Thanks, 13. I'm using an unreliable narrator.
Comment from judiverse
Seems that Watson wasn't actually hallucinating. The narrator seems to be the one undergoing changes, maybe because of exposure to the strange planet's atmosphere. His eyes and ears are changed. The narrator thinks this is all to the good, as his sensory powers are greatly enhanced. Including the sense of taste, apparently. Great entry for the horror writing contest, and best of luck. judi
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
|
Seems that Watson wasn't actually hallucinating. The narrator seems to be the one undergoing changes, maybe because of exposure to the strange planet's atmosphere. His eyes and ears are changed. The narrator thinks this is all to the good, as his sensory powers are greatly enhanced. Including the sense of taste, apparently. Great entry for the horror writing contest, and best of luck. judi
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
-
Thank you, Judi. May be too short, but I like it?s quick revelation.
-
You're welcome. This is a great idea. judi
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Quite a horrifying look on your captain. "I swear your mouth is shifting to the right side of your face, Captain. Your complexion is jaundiced and green. Your ears are beginning to look like drink coasters" well done with the description I can actually close my eyes and see it. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
|
Quite a horrifying look on your captain. "I swear your mouth is shifting to the right side of your face, Captain. Your complexion is jaundiced and green. Your ears are beginning to look like drink coasters" well done with the description I can actually close my eyes and see it. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
-
Thanks, Iza
Comment from nomi338
If we ignore the comments made by bystanders about changes to our appearance, while internally acknowledging changes, we might inadvertently wind up eating somebody.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
|
If we ignore the comments made by bystanders about changes to our appearance, while internally acknowledging changes, we might inadvertently wind up eating somebody.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
-
And here?s the proof.
Comment from damommy
Yikes! That's what you get for eating your only companion. Evidently, he was right. You were changing into something inhuman. That last line was a shocker. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
|
Yikes! That's what you get for eating your only companion. Evidently, he was right. You were changing into something inhuman. That last line was a shocker. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
-
Thanks, Yvonne
Comment from phill doran
Hello Bill
This is excellent - a great combination of your humour, your way with dialogue and your interest in SciFi. You have created something fresh.
Although I think it is too short for the contest - it really is more of a 'flash' size than anything, if I assess it on its merits and ignore what I think the contest committee may or may not be interested in - it is a great piece of writing. I think tenfold may be a single word, but that is splitting hairs.
You could develop his piece further if you chose to: there's a lot going n here.
Great writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
|
Hello Bill
This is excellent - a great combination of your humour, your way with dialogue and your interest in SciFi. You have created something fresh.
Although I think it is too short for the contest - it really is more of a 'flash' size than anything, if I assess it on its merits and ignore what I think the contest committee may or may not be interested in - it is a great piece of writing. I think tenfold may be a single word, but that is splitting hairs.
You could develop his piece further if you chose to: there's a lot going n here.
Great writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
-
I did double-check the challenge page and see that there is a thread that suggests a five hundred word average. I actually wrote the story only realizing at the end it could be a horror story for the contest. Winning contests is a rarity and I enter with few aspirations of success.
