Fortune Cookies
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Heartbeat"A Romantic, Superhero-like, Geek Horror story.
3 total reviews
Comment from Colin John
Hi, a very nice write and as I am new to the book scene I try to pick up on others that have been writing for a while to pick up any good tips, great storyline firstly and I like the way you have laid this part chapter out. Many thanks for sharing. Colin
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
Hi, a very nice write and as I am new to the book scene I try to pick up on others that have been writing for a while to pick up any good tips, great storyline firstly and I like the way you have laid this part chapter out. Many thanks for sharing. Colin
Comment Written 06-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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Thank you for such an unexpected, supportive review! I?m an amateur author, so not sure what helpful tips to provide other than what I learned from others. And, that?s to ?keep writing. No matter what. Just keep going.?
Thank you again!
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No problem
Comment from lyenochka
I really liked how you described the dream sequence, the images are vibrant, at times, horrifying, but also ethereal and intangible.
A few comments:
" "Jack in the Beanstalk." (Jack and the Beanstalk)
"An unseen voice cries to El." (all voices are 'unseen' so you might consider 'unfamiliar' or 'non-corporeal' or some other adjective)
I liked the possible changes of the voice from Mom to Transformer!
"Don't show Dad or Mom you're report card" (your)
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
I really liked how you described the dream sequence, the images are vibrant, at times, horrifying, but also ethereal and intangible.
A few comments:
" "Jack in the Beanstalk." (Jack and the Beanstalk)
"An unseen voice cries to El." (all voices are 'unseen' so you might consider 'unfamiliar' or 'non-corporeal' or some other adjective)
I liked the possible changes of the voice from Mom to Transformer!
"Don't show Dad or Mom you're report card" (your)
Comment Written 06-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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Helen, thank you. These revisions are always helpful for me. I can?t understand how I miss this simple mistakes. :-/ Again, thank you for the helpful assist and support.
Stay blessed!
Euell
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No worries, Euell. We all make those mistakes and we're blind to our own! Sometimes, it's the very unhelpful Autocorrect that changes your to you're. It happens to me when I'm texting. ☺
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Euell
To me it looks that I should read your precious chapters to refresh my memory; to see how and when El found this supernatural place of darkness.
Gert
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
Hello Euell
To me it looks that I should read your precious chapters to refresh my memory; to see how and when El found this supernatural place of darkness.
Gert
Comment Written 06-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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Gert, thank you for your supportive and positive comment. It?s inspiring to know that this chapter is able to connect and interest you. Hope you take time to read past chapters. It?s a fun read according to other reviewers. It?s taking time to be more consistent with this project. But, thank you for being there!