Morning Walk
Love walking my dog in the forest in early morning6 total reviews
Comment from gingermo
The imagery in your poem is magic. The personification of the raindrops
impressive. The adjectives and nouns most descriptive ... tiptoe...billowing...drift... dewy and touches of alliteration all add to the lovely mood of the poem. Mention of walking the dog, an enjoyable task also adds to its charm and the last line 'we both drift through the quiet' is pure poetry.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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The imagery in your poem is magic. The personification of the raindrops
impressive. The adjectives and nouns most descriptive ... tiptoe...billowing...drift... dewy and touches of alliteration all add to the lovely mood of the poem. Mention of walking the dog, an enjoyable task also adds to its charm and the last line 'we both drift through the quiet' is pure poetry.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. Much appreciated.
Comment from Aaron Milavec
Poets have their own settled instincts, and I hesitate to say anything to you. Yet, for what it is worth, I risk sharing my perception (which may not be yours):
Great image for your theme.
First three lines introduce distinct images. Lines 3 and 4 & 5 and 6 go together. Maybe lines 4 and 6 should not begin with a capital.
"Raindrops tiptoe" = I like that, but "misty" does not fit here. It goes with the fog in the next line.
"Dewy" and "clouds" do not go together. Dew drops are formed because of the low temperature of the leaves. They do not come down out of clouds. [I admit that this is a technical point that most people do not understand. Nonetheless, as a naturalist, what you imply get in the way for me.]
Dew is the moisture that forms as a result of condensation. Condensation is the process a material undergoes as it changes from a gas to a liquid. Dew is the result of water changing from a vapor to a liquid.
Dew forms as temperatures drop and objects cool down. If the object becomes cool enough, the air around the object will also cool. Colder air is less able to hold water vapor than warm air. This forces water vapor in the air around cooling objects to condense. When condensation happens, small water droplets form--dew.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Poets have their own settled instincts, and I hesitate to say anything to you. Yet, for what it is worth, I risk sharing my perception (which may not be yours):
Great image for your theme.
First three lines introduce distinct images. Lines 3 and 4 & 5 and 6 go together. Maybe lines 4 and 6 should not begin with a capital.
"Raindrops tiptoe" = I like that, but "misty" does not fit here. It goes with the fog in the next line.
"Dewy" and "clouds" do not go together. Dew drops are formed because of the low temperature of the leaves. They do not come down out of clouds. [I admit that this is a technical point that most people do not understand. Nonetheless, as a naturalist, what you imply get in the way for me.]
Dew is the moisture that forms as a result of condensation. Condensation is the process a material undergoes as it changes from a gas to a liquid. Dew is the result of water changing from a vapor to a liquid.
Dew forms as temperatures drop and objects cool down. If the object becomes cool enough, the air around the object will also cool. Colder air is less able to hold water vapor than warm air. This forces water vapor in the air around cooling objects to condense. When condensation happens, small water droplets form--dew.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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I appreciate your exact analysis however it is the feel and emotion in a poem that is important not the scientific facts. Let us call it writer's prerogative to express experience the way he or she feels it.
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I am a fallible human being like yourself. I'm trying to enter sensitively into your experience. The language sets we inhabit due to our upbringing and education are decidedly different. So the words misfire, they sputter, they offend. Words are such frail vessels for our endeavors to communicate. I beg your forgiveness. I brought too much of my experience to your poem. I should have preferred to remain QUIET.
Aaron
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There is no need to apologize, or to remain quiet. We all see the world though the prism of our experience. Thanks for your point of view.
Comment from pome lover
well, we're competing in the same contest, but I really like this. Lovely word choices. They create a scene where the reader almost feels she's there.
(It also sounds wet and cold) :) But a really nice thing to do.
pome lover
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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well, we're competing in the same contest, but I really like this. Lovely word choices. They create a scene where the reader almost feels she's there.
(It also sounds wet and cold) :) But a really nice thing to do.
pome lover
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thanks for your read and comments. Good luck to the two of us.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Morning Walk, captures a few of the startling aspects of a quiet romp with the pet. The silver sunrise, arching tree limbs, the fresh scent of pine, all mix with the cool fog. Nice.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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This poem, Morning Walk, captures a few of the startling aspects of a quiet romp with the pet. The silver sunrise, arching tree limbs, the fresh scent of pine, all mix with the cool fog. Nice.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Thanks for the read and the positive comments. Appreciated.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written short poem you have penned about how quiet and nice it is to walk your dog in the forest and the lovely colors. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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This is a very well written short poem you have penned about how quiet and nice it is to walk your dog in the forest and the lovely colors. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Thanks much for taking the time to read and comment. Fall and spring mornings are favorites.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow poet. Thank you for sharing your poem, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Hello fellow poet. Thank you for sharing your poem, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Thanks for the read and feedback. Appreciated.
