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Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "(wheelchair) "An artful mix of poetic forms.
50 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
I always do love the haiku contest time, because these little beauties blossom like flowers around the site.
Excellent job with a stunning image and thought, Janet. Best wishes to you with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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I always do love the haiku contest time, because these little beauties blossom like flowers around the site.
Excellent job with a stunning image and thought, Janet. Best wishes to you with the Contest Committee. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much, Gloria. I did make some changes in the posting that makes it a better haiku. We are always learning and the comments of reviewers truly are a great help. xo
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a touching poem. I like the concept. Even in her own plight, being wheelchair bound she sees beauty in the rose. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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This is a touching poem. I like the concept. Even in her own plight, being wheelchair bound she sees beauty in the rose. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much, Marilyn. I've made some changes to keep the posting in line with haiku standards so it has a different title than before. (Thankfully, editing is my favorite part of the writing process because I love seeing the lines getting better.) I appreciate your supportive comments very much! xo
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Thank you for sharing this poem. I see you have gone to great lengths to point out that you are not following the "traditional" 5-7-5 syllable count of haiku, which makes since to me as a hippie publisher recently told me that most decent English haiku (implying that mine was not) doesn't follow the 5-7-5 syllable count we are taught in school. I also notice that the theme is not entirely nature as it includes a human being.. a senryu hybrid? Good luck with your contest entry!
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you for sharing this poem. I see you have gone to great lengths to point out that you are not following the "traditional" 5-7-5 syllable count of haiku, which makes since to me as a hippie publisher recently told me that most decent English haiku (implying that mine was not) doesn't follow the 5-7-5 syllable count we are taught in school. I also notice that the theme is not entirely nature as it includes a human being.. a senryu hybrid? Good luck with your contest entry!
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts. Although it is definitely a haiku, and like a lot of them, it has a senryu flavoring to it as well. This haiku is showing a specific action actually taking place and it is the reader's interpretation as to what prompted it. If it said: she loves the scent of the rose...then it really would be a senryu. Humans are part of nature so citing one does not automatically turn a poem into a senryu...it's expressed human feelings that do it. -- (Although I personally prefer writing modern haiku and tanka, I still think the 5-7-5 syllable count can be very effective as long as there are no unnecessary words obviously being used just to meet the 5-7-5 syllable count.) I like all the Japanese short forms and there are a lot of excellent ones being posted here for the enjoyment of members. Again, thank you for reviewing and letting me know about your experience.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job formatting your entry within the picture. I enjoyed reading it. Good job with the syllable count. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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You did a good job formatting your entry within the picture. I enjoyed reading it. Good job with the syllable count. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much, Jan. Your review and comments mean a lot. :-)
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Awe! What a picture your paint here of adversity and confinement, yet beauty can still be reached. It says so much with few words, right up my alley of writing! Love this!
Thank you for sharing! xoxo
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Awe! What a picture your paint here of adversity and confinement, yet beauty can still be reached. It says so much with few words, right up my alley of writing! Love this!
Thank you for sharing! xoxo
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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I'm so glad you like this, Diana. I have made some changes but the feeling is still there. Thank you so much! ♥♥
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Oh yes, I like your changes as well! :) xoxoxo
Comment from Sally Law
I like this uniquely illustrated and portrayed haiku, dear Janet. It's part epigram and part haiku. A stellar offering that says so much. A rose will make anyone want to move.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the contest,
Sally xoxo
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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I like this uniquely illustrated and portrayed haiku, dear Janet. It's part epigram and part haiku. A stellar offering that says so much. A rose will make anyone want to move.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the contest,
Sally xoxo
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much, my friend. I'm behind in my responses and the posting has already been updated. (Editing is my favorite part of writing and I never know when something is going to be completely finished until I move on to the next project.) lol ♥♥ Janet
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
(leaning over) minimal format
Hello, Spangle,
I love your haiku. It's very effective...I can see the disabled woman leaning over to get the rose. Well done. I wish you good luck in the contest.
gypsy
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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(leaning over) minimal format
Hello, Spangle,
I love your haiku. It's very effective...I can see the disabled woman leaning over to get the rose. Well done. I wish you good luck in the contest.
gypsy
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you for this lovely review, Gypsy. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this haiku. :-) Janet
Comment from tfawcus
An interesting juxtaposition of ideas here that illustrate the positive attitude that can carry people out of their personal tragedy. Economically presented.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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An interesting juxtaposition of ideas here that illustrate the positive attitude that can carry people out of their personal tragedy. Economically presented.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much for reviewing and commenting which I truly appreciate!! :-) I'm way behind in my responses and I have already made some updates to the posting. Sigh.
Comment from lyenochka
Loved this! A virtual six from me! And I loved how you created the presentation with the poem as part of your illustration. Our physical condition does not limit our appreciation of beauty. Best wishes in the contest!
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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Loved this! A virtual six from me! And I loved how you created the presentation with the poem as part of your illustration. Our physical condition does not limit our appreciation of beauty. Best wishes in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you so very much, Helen! I'm so happy you enjoyed this. I've already made some changes to it that I like even more.
You are always a bright light in my world for sure!!!!
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Thank you, Janet - and I appreciate how you shine God's light to me! ♥
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You are a sweetheart!
Comment from RodG
One can easily visualize this scene. We assume the woman in the wheel chair is elderly and perhaps wheeling herself around the garden of a senior citizen residence. She sees a rose which she can touch. A lot conveyed in only 13 syllables.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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One can easily visualize this scene. We assume the woman in the wheel chair is elderly and perhaps wheeling herself around the garden of a senior citizen residence. She sees a rose which she can touch. A lot conveyed in only 13 syllables.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you greatly for this uplifting review. I truly appreciate your comments. All I can say about the woman is that she's older than I am. :-) Thank you again! --Janet
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You are very welcome.
