Envious Eyes
A Senryu on Jealousy13 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, Envious Eyes, presented in a 5-7-5 format, certainly presents the fiery image and nods to the destructive potential of jealousy.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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This senryu, Envious Eyes, presented in a 5-7-5 format, certainly presents the fiery image and nods to the destructive potential of jealousy.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Comment from TheManojArora
Eyes miss the dragon?
Miss as in yearn for? or miss as in ducked a bullet?
I didn't understand the picture you were painting.
Keep writing.
Kindly note that all views presented in this comment are my opinion and you are free to disregard my opinion entirely.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Eyes miss the dragon?
Miss as in yearn for? or miss as in ducked a bullet?
I didn't understand the picture you were painting.
Keep writing.
Kindly note that all views presented in this comment are my opinion and you are free to disregard my opinion entirely.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I like your appropriate alliteration with your s's. The imagery is great. This becomes a great cautionary tale. The reader is invited to reflect upon whether they have any dragons within.n Well expressed. I am voting for this one.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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I like your appropriate alliteration with your s's. The imagery is great. This becomes a great cautionary tale. The reader is invited to reflect upon whether they have any dragons within.n Well expressed. I am voting for this one.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Thank you for sharing your insights!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an excellent poem to approach the concept of jealousy. I find it interesting that that word is never used. It's not just a case of preferring the more gentle word envy, as the rest of the poem uses extremely strong text.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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This is an excellent poem to approach the concept of jealousy. I find it interesting that that word is never used. It's not just a case of preferring the more gentle word envy, as the rest of the poem uses extremely strong text.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Thanks for dropping by. I chose to use the word envious, as jealousy is not always apparent. It can simmer and seethe inside, while the person smiles at you...
Comment from LisaMay
This is an excellent observation on the impact of envy. When negative emotion is turned upon another it is often overlooked by the jealous one that the harm is to oneself, being consumed by 'self-destructive fire'.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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This is an excellent observation on the impact of envy. When negative emotion is turned upon another it is often overlooked by the jealous one that the harm is to oneself, being consumed by 'self-destructive fire'.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Thank you for sharing your insights!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A Senryu on Jealousy
Envious Eyes
Hello, my friend,
Japanese poetry is my thing.... I love it. You did a good job with your senryu. The lines are connected grammatically giving the poem a nice flow. Good presentation.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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A Senryu on Jealousy
Envious Eyes
Hello, my friend,
Japanese poetry is my thing.... I love it. You did a good job with your senryu. The lines are connected grammatically giving the poem a nice flow. Good presentation.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Thank you for sharing your insights!
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
How true this is. Envious eyes get us in all sorts of trouble. Then we meet up with the destructive green-eyed monster. There can be no peace if either consume us.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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How true this is. Envious eyes get us in all sorts of trouble. Then we meet up with the destructive green-eyed monster. There can be no peace if either consume us.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020
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Thank you for sharing your insights!
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You're welcome.
Comment from Eve Vasa
Hi, good entry for the prompt. Your poem has been nicely published with the pic, and you get the idea across very clearly. I didn't notice errors and thanks for sharing your writing, Eve.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020
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Hi, good entry for the prompt. Your poem has been nicely published with the pic, and you get the idea across very clearly. I didn't notice errors and thanks for sharing your writing, Eve.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"envious eyes" - a sure sign of jealousy. The resulting fire from that self-destruction can indeed be all-consuming. Chosen words depict jealousy spot on and paints that picture clearly. This should make an excellent entry for the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020
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"envious eyes" - a sure sign of jealousy. The resulting fire from that self-destruction can indeed be all-consuming. Chosen words depict jealousy spot on and paints that picture clearly. This should make an excellent entry for the contest.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a poignant write for today's crisis and our finger often hesitates over our self destruct button. This write seems appropriate because of the Chinese dragon and of course China started this virus with it's sloppy backyard practices, love Dolly x
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This is a poignant write for today's crisis and our finger often hesitates over our self destruct button. This write seems appropriate because of the Chinese dragon and of course China started this virus with it's sloppy backyard practices, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Mar-2020
