Comment from Jen Vasquez

Excellent

Absolutely love this writing short sweet simple clear to the point emotional sad you feel for the for the child for sure I admire the little boy being able to be confident and proud of his dad my favorite line of all

" His badge has a
star.
It is mine.
Now."

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2020

Thanks so much, Jen, and welcome to Fan Story. You picked a good time to join - with the quarantine, it's a fun way to spend time.
I'm glad you liked this piece and I appreciate your comments.
pome lover

reply by Jen Vasquez on 01-Apr-2020

You are more than welcome people
keep them coming

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello my friend

Great entry for the Joseph's Star contest. Good syllable count and beautiful presentation. I like this form. Good job. Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020

thanks. I appreciate your comments.
pome lover

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

I think this is a good entry for the Joseph's Star writing prompt.
This lovely verse describes the picture very well.
Well done and good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020

thank you, Sharon, for your kind words.
Katharine - pome lover

Comment from RShipp

Excellent

You have no rhyme in your poem and the syllable count seems accurate.
Each line makes a complete statement.

Your picture was a good choice. Wow, my heart aches for the son.

Best of luck in the Joseph's Star writing contest.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020

thank you very much.
pome lover

Comment from Patty Palmer

Excellent

This is a cute poem for Joseph's Star entry. The little boy looks so cute decked out in his cowboy outfit with a sheriff's star. The little boy looks like the little boy who played in some of the early Disney movies that were on television when we were kids. It was a circus movie!
Good luck with the contest!
Stay safe!
Patty

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020

thank you, Patty.
You stay safe, too.
Katharine - pome lover

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This is certainly a sad story/poem for the Joseph's star contest,
but I like the way you work the marshal's star in there.
The syllables are exact. It would look better centered, but that's up to you.
Excellent picture to match.
Well done
Good luck in the contest.
Robert

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020

thank you. will take you up on your suggestion.

Comment from MARIANNE GI

Good

I am really sorry for your father... I would so much love to read the same story in a more poetic form... With the exact words... Maybe something that describes him. Very nice work!
Marianne

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020

this is strictly fiction - for the contest.
thanks for reading.

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This poem, Joseph's Star, formatted to the same framing, tells the story of Joe Junior and his probable commitment to pursue justice as his fallen daddy did. Book 'em Dano

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020

the boy is proud to have the badge, but would rather have his dad back. thanks for reading.

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

Luckily, now you have the badge, the star; per heredity, you are the winner of the badge as heir in absence of your dad; from father to son; well said.

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020

the boy is proud to have his father's badge, but he would rather have his dad back. thanks for reading.

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Nice twist on the usual poignancy given dad's dead. I can easily believe these words coming from a boy who, probably years after the loss, gives just the facts, ma'am. Good for you, breaking the box. Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020

thanks so much.
yep, he looks like a boy of few words.