By the Garden Shed
A Swap Quatrain: Of Love and Remembrance69 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
I have really grown to love your poetry, Diane. It's partially because I think we are alike in our values and outlook. That's definitely part of why your poetry moves me so much. For instance, my grandmother's pride and joy was her snowball bush, and I have always loved them so much. The first thing that my daughter did when she moved into her new home was to plant a snowball bush and name it Debbie. You taught college and I did, too, as an adjunct for 10 years. I love the education environment.
But the main reason that I appreciate your poetry is your command of words. You select and plant words in such loving ways. The way that you reversed the 1st and 4th line of each quatrain is nothing short of remarkable. And, your poems are diverse and interesting. I look forward to your posts.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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I have really grown to love your poetry, Diane. It's partially because I think we are alike in our values and outlook. That's definitely part of why your poetry moves me so much. For instance, my grandmother's pride and joy was her snowball bush, and I have always loved them so much. The first thing that my daughter did when she moved into her new home was to plant a snowball bush and name it Debbie. You taught college and I did, too, as an adjunct for 10 years. I love the education environment.
But the main reason that I appreciate your poetry is your command of words. You select and plant words in such loving ways. The way that you reversed the 1st and 4th line of each quatrain is nothing short of remarkable. And, your poems are diverse and interesting. I look forward to your posts.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Dear Debbie,
Well, I will not lie; your review brought me to tears for a number of reasons: I write so that my children and their children will remember; I write to teach; I write to thank members of my family - now long deceased - for all the gifts they shared with me; I write to share my "values and outlook" in a world that is often cold and callous. (That last reason may appear trite and maudlin, but I am too much of an optimistic-realist to stop trying.)
I, too, feel a keen sense of camaraderie with you, Debbie. I so appreciate your offerings and view on life as well.
As for this poetic format, I believe this is my second attempt at a swap quatrain. So challenging, but I enjoyed trying it although it took me over a week to find just the right words, and as you wrote your review, I was scrambling to possibly change "blooms" in one line to "buds!" :) (Never content no matter how many times I edit!)
I smiled when I read about your snowball bush. When my husband and I purchased our first home - over forty years ago - my mother purchased a Blue spruce for our front yard. It cost $50.00 at the time - an exorbitant amount of money. We called it, "Bad Momma" because we knew she had done some finagling of her weekly expenses to purchase it for us. It is still growing - long after we moved. It now stands at least twenty-five feet tall. Just glorious!
Thank you again, Debbie, for your exceptional rating and thoughtful review.
I am hoping you and yours are still well and safe.
Your friend,
diane
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Thank you for such a kind response. I write for the exact same reasons. Law school and ten years of teaching Business Law have made me such a literal writer. My writing is intelligent but not as moving as yours. I'm not a poet at heart, like I think you are. I was a Math major, not even an English major, although I should have gone with my heart and taken the English courses.I was trying to be sensible. I saw no jobs in English.
Anyway, I am definitely a patron of good writing. For years, I have taken notes of turns of phrases that I like. Right now, Pat Conroy's "My Reading Life" is getting me through this isolation. It's about how his life has been shaped by certain books and people who love books. I so identify with people who love books that much. I do, and I sense that in you. I'm glad that I have found another comrade.
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Hello again, Debbie,
My husband is a retired structural engineer. Truly, the man is a genius when it comes to solving any problem that deals with an analytical mind. Both of our grown children are high school math teachers; however, they gave a nod to their mother and minored in English! I was so pleased when both did so without my prodding...
I must check out Conroy's book as I appreciate his writing.
Take Care!
As soon as it warms up a bit, I am heading out to the gardens to spread mulch!
diane
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I love the math, English connection. It says your children love much in life.
Speaking of good books, check out Tara Westover's book "Educated" as well as the Conroy book. It's a memoir of a girl who was deprived of schooling by dogmatic parents. She went on to teach at Cambridge. It's the best book I've read in years. Book of the Year by Amazon I believe.
Go mulch and have a wonderful day.
Comment from clsandau
What a beautiful poem and specially bringing thoughts of generations past. The type of poem you have done sounds a little complicated,but you have done an amazing job putting it together in right order. Reading this has provided a perfect beginning to this beautiful Sunday, considering all that is going on in our world right now. A beautiful tribute to your mother. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Carol
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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What a beautiful poem and specially bringing thoughts of generations past. The type of poem you have done sounds a little complicated,but you have done an amazing job putting it together in right order. Reading this has provided a perfect beginning to this beautiful Sunday, considering all that is going on in our world right now. A beautiful tribute to your mother. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Carol
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Good Morning, Carol!
So very appreciative of your exceptional rating and complimentary review!
The swap quatrain is a challenging format, but I enjoyed the attempt!
So pleased my words resonated with you!
Hoping you are safe and well!
Thank you!
diane
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You are so welcome, Diane - I really did enjoy it. We are staying safe so far and hope you are too. Carol
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I love the story bound up in the beautiful flowers, they become an emblem of tradition passed on, carefully, with intention, one tiny seed at a time.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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I love the story bound up in the beautiful flowers, they become an emblem of tradition passed on, carefully, with intention, one tiny seed at a time.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Hello Darlene!
So pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow! This is beautifully written. The swap quatrain format appears seamless, as if it flows through your pen, with no effort at all. I love everything about this. The lovingly way you equate hollyhocks with tenderness and multi-generational love. Each word, each phrase is carefully chosen to the delight of the reader, to be sure. I love the way you use the first line of each stanza, to reverse it in the last line with care and charm. And, you find rhymes to suit this poetic device so well. The flow is smooth, the meter is sound, the rhymes are well-chosen, and the pattern, from start to finish, is in suitable order, with a wonderful closing line, to tie it together, as if a gift is being carefully wrapped. The pictures show the beauty of which you write about. This is a wonderful true story, told with finesse and with graceful style. Thank you for sharing this uplifting message, with positivity so needed in today's uncertain climate.
Take care,
Jesse
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Wow! This is beautifully written. The swap quatrain format appears seamless, as if it flows through your pen, with no effort at all. I love everything about this. The lovingly way you equate hollyhocks with tenderness and multi-generational love. Each word, each phrase is carefully chosen to the delight of the reader, to be sure. I love the way you use the first line of each stanza, to reverse it in the last line with care and charm. And, you find rhymes to suit this poetic device so well. The flow is smooth, the meter is sound, the rhymes are well-chosen, and the pattern, from start to finish, is in suitable order, with a wonderful closing line, to tie it together, as if a gift is being carefully wrapped. The pictures show the beauty of which you write about. This is a wonderful true story, told with finesse and with graceful style. Thank you for sharing this uplifting message, with positivity so needed in today's uncertain climate.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Good Morning, Jesse!
It has been a long time since I have written a swap quatrain. I worked on this offering all week!
I so love hollyhocks and how ours have been handed down from my grandmother, mother, and then to me! And this fall, after our daughter gives birth to our first grandchild, I will pass on some seeds to her as well...
At one point, I had hollyhocks growing alongside a small walkway at the front of our home. Trying to achieve a "cottagey feel." Hah! My husband was none too fond of them, but our children and kittens were!
So very pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you for your exceptional rating and thoughtful review.
Hoping you continue to be safe and well!
Take Care,
diane
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This is so reminiscent to me. My grandfather had a beautiful garden of hollyhocks and we used to go after bees, with a bottle in one hand and the lid in the other, and chop the bloom with the bee in it. My grandfather would be so upset and we didn't have a clue why. Your poem is so well done in its narrative of your grandmother's custom and your intentions. Very enjoyable read. The video with its profusion of hollyhocks was beautiful to see.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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This is so reminiscent to me. My grandfather had a beautiful garden of hollyhocks and we used to go after bees, with a bottle in one hand and the lid in the other, and chop the bloom with the bee in it. My grandfather would be so upset and we didn't have a clue why. Your poem is so well done in its narrative of your grandmother's custom and your intentions. Very enjoyable read. The video with its profusion of hollyhocks was beautiful to see.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Hello Raffaelina!
Thank you for your excellent rating and thoughtful review!
I just received your message that you chose to "bookmark" this piece. Thank you so much!
I am pleased that my words resonated with you and brought back childhood memories. I smiled when I read of our escapades, but I would have probably been as upset as your grandfather! :)
Thank you again!
Hoping you and yours continue to be safe and well!
diane
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You too! I love the video of the hollyhocks.
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I loved the video as well!
And I really smiled when I realized that somewhere - in my childhood hometown - those hollyhocks are flourishing!
diane
Comment from Sandtana Kay
I love flowers. Your poem was well written and a tribute to your mother.
The rhyming was good and the description of the flowers, the hollyhocks,
brought back memories of my grandmother's yard. She had hollyhock
and rose of Sharon everywhere.
Sandtana Kay
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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I love flowers. Your poem was well written and a tribute to your mother.
The rhyming was good and the description of the flowers, the hollyhocks,
brought back memories of my grandmother's yard. She had hollyhock
and rose of Sharon everywhere.
Sandtana Kay
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Hello Sandtana!
So very pleased you enjoyed my offering!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from RodG
This is a lovely Swap poem describing a tradition that lives on through the generations--planting and giving hollyhocks. I like the descriptions of the blooms that often surprised and how Grandmother gathered the seeds in the fall to pass on. Your refrains are very well-chosen. Rod
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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This is a lovely Swap poem describing a tradition that lives on through the generations--planting and giving hollyhocks. I like the descriptions of the blooms that often surprised and how Grandmother gathered the seeds in the fall to pass on. Your refrains are very well-chosen. Rod
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Hello Rod!
I am very pleased that my words resonated with you!
So pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Pantygynt
What makes this swap quatrain different from most, is that you have used a variety of ways of breaking the first and last lines into two parts. Most that I have seen maintain the same pattern of split in each stanza.
Your eight stanzas are split as follows:
4/6 - 6/4, 5/5 -5/5, 2/8 - 8/2, 4/6 - 6/4, 5/5 -5/5, 4/6 - 6/4, 2/8 - 8/2, 5/5 -5/5.
Most appropriate when they all grow to different heights. Was this just a happy accident or part of a plan (honest now)?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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What makes this swap quatrain different from most, is that you have used a variety of ways of breaking the first and last lines into two parts. Most that I have seen maintain the same pattern of split in each stanza.
Your eight stanzas are split as follows:
4/6 - 6/4, 5/5 -5/5, 2/8 - 8/2, 4/6 - 6/4, 5/5 -5/5, 4/6 - 6/4, 2/8 - 8/2, 5/5 -5/5.
Most appropriate when they all grow to different heights. Was this just a happy accident or part of a plan (honest now)?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Good Morning, Jim,
Honestly?
I was attempting to achieve the rhythmic flow of the process of my mother tilling the land, planting her flowers, and harvesting the seeds to give them away ... and how I have continued on that tradition, and will continue to do so.
As to the poetic layout of the stanzas, I was more concerned that each line made sense when reversed and did not appear forced or present an unrealistic way of speaking.
As to the mathematical dissection that you have cleverly rendered, naw...that was a crapshoot! A very interesting crapshoot. I'll be mindful the next time I attempt a swap quatrain - or any poem.
Hoping you are well and safe.
Thank you!
diane
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There is nothing in the regulations that says you must split at the same point each time. I found the diversity most refreshing.
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Thank you, Jim.
By the way, do you grow hollyhocks?
Their only downfall is that they are susceptible to fungus...
Take Care,
diane
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No I don't but i have done in the past and they did fall victim to the dreaded fungus. My mother, a very green-fingered lady, had huge ones in her garden when i was a child.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written swap quatrain about the results of diligently sew ab plant seeds to grow. The flowers and fruits we harvest is the ultimate prize for the hard work we put in to it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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A very well-written swap quatrain about the results of diligently sew ab plant seeds to grow. The flowers and fruits we harvest is the ultimate prize for the hard work we put in to it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Hello Sandra!
Thank you for your excellent rating and complimentary review!
So pleased you enjoyed!
diane
